Day 22 and made it through
 

It's day 22. I am having some serious personal issues going on right now. I haven't picked up a drink though. I can't say I didn't think about going to the liquor store and picking up a bottle though. I'm not having cravings. It would only be to numb the pain. I would wake up in the morning and all my problems would still be there. That is what got me started in the first place. The chances of me going back to where I was before is way too high. I'm not willing to risk it. My sobriety is too important. Insanity is doing something over and over again expecting different results. So for now, I will cry in my pillow, pray for strength, focus on what is good and stay away from the liquor stores. Thanks for allowing me to vent. This site has been a pillar of strength for me.

Sorry you are going through a rough time, Ipnangel. I've found that because I numbed my feelings for so long with alcohol, it feels strange to go through intense feelings without drinking. I drank when I was sad, angry, lonely, frustrated, overwhelmed. But I also drank when I was excited, social, happy, creative.

I don't think I cried real tears in all the time I was drinking, even when my sister passed away. It was like I had to drink to open the emotional floodgates..then I'd be a sobbing mess, but it wasn't healing tears at all. It's taken me three years to realize that crying when sober, is REAL and that's how you deal and recover. Sending you strength and hoping that things look up.

congrats
 

Congrats on 22 days , I also am sorry your havin a tough time but, it will pass the sun will shine on your face again.

Just breath and cry in that pillow scream what ever releases some of that tension. Just stay away from that booze which you know will never fix it just hide it smiles peace!


"I need a miracle every day" Jerry Garcia

I'm sorry you're having troubles - but you're right - alcohol's not the solution.
It took me 15 years to get that so good for you for realising that so early in your recovery lpnangel :)

D

Good for you for not giving in, ipn........ I had some hard stuff to deal with right away in sobriety too, but when I read some of the stories around here, it reminded me to be grateful - things could have gotten a whole lot worse.

Infact, finding things to be grateful for helped me many times when all I could see was the negative. Life's a B, but you've stayed sober 22 days!

I hope things improve for you soon......:grouphug: