Day 27 Blah's
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 62
Day 27 Blah's
I'm at home on a Friday night... Bored. Lonely. The usual. All the other weekends so far I haven't cared but I've had a bad day and now I want to go out, socialize, and have a glass... or yet a bottle of wine.
I'm mad at my daughter's father. Every weekend they (him and his wife) take her, they are hours late (if they even show up). They always have an excuse and they go right for the big ones -- someone is dying, someone is REALLY sick, someone has cancer.... When I planned her bridal shower, she cancelled on me a half an hour before the event. They're these type of people.
Tonight they were picking her up from my "mom's" (she's not really my mom, old social worker) and were two hours late. They've been there plenty of times before and have known for a week they were picking her up from there. Of course once they get there it's "well we didn't have your number..." "we didn't know where you lived" even though they seemed to make it there just fine, just two hours behind schedule. When asked why they didn't call me, of course they said they did... There is no record of it on my phone. If you're going to mess up, fine -- but don't blame your issues on me. I have enough of my own. haha
I so badly want to say something to them, but won't because what is the point? They have just started taking her one weekend a month in the past six months or so... before that my daughter was lucky if she heard from her dad every six months -- so they have improved... I'm just terribly annoyed. I know in the grand scheme of things -- this is SUCH a minor problem. I'm just pissed. Pissed about that, pissed that I can't find something to do with my free time. Pissed at the world mainly.
I know I could find something to do with my drinking friends, but of course -- that would just lead to drinking. I'm not going to call them... but frig. haha sorry for being a debbie downer. I just had to grumble somewhere.
I'm mad at my daughter's father. Every weekend they (him and his wife) take her, they are hours late (if they even show up). They always have an excuse and they go right for the big ones -- someone is dying, someone is REALLY sick, someone has cancer.... When I planned her bridal shower, she cancelled on me a half an hour before the event. They're these type of people.
Tonight they were picking her up from my "mom's" (she's not really my mom, old social worker) and were two hours late. They've been there plenty of times before and have known for a week they were picking her up from there. Of course once they get there it's "well we didn't have your number..." "we didn't know where you lived" even though they seemed to make it there just fine, just two hours behind schedule. When asked why they didn't call me, of course they said they did... There is no record of it on my phone. If you're going to mess up, fine -- but don't blame your issues on me. I have enough of my own. haha
I so badly want to say something to them, but won't because what is the point? They have just started taking her one weekend a month in the past six months or so... before that my daughter was lucky if she heard from her dad every six months -- so they have improved... I'm just terribly annoyed. I know in the grand scheme of things -- this is SUCH a minor problem. I'm just pissed. Pissed about that, pissed that I can't find something to do with my free time. Pissed at the world mainly.
I know I could find something to do with my drinking friends, but of course -- that would just lead to drinking. I'm not going to call them... but frig. haha sorry for being a debbie downer. I just had to grumble somewhere.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
I went to an AA meeting tonight and we laughed and had a great time. I know that sounds odd but it was only my second time at this Friday meeting and now I know I will not miss it unless something really crazy comes up or I'm traveling.
My new friends are in AA. I can't go back to the ones I just drank with. I still have old friends but they would never expect me to go out to a bar, etc.
It is lonely at times but I have to protect my sober self! I don't want to either end up dead or debilitated for the rest of my life.
I feel for you but there are places to find new friends that don't use. Besides the internet of course! 
I'm 7 day and you are 27, we shall see where I'm at!
My new friends are in AA. I can't go back to the ones I just drank with. I still have old friends but they would never expect me to go out to a bar, etc.
It is lonely at times but I have to protect my sober self! I don't want to either end up dead or debilitated for the rest of my life.
I feel for you but there are places to find new friends that don't use. Besides the internet of course! I'm 7 day and you are 27, we shall see where I'm at!
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
I'm at home on a Friday Night too. Worked till 7:30 then I was watching "What would you do?" I love that show. Now I'm getting ready for ice cream.
You don't really want to drink and ruin your sober time. It's not going to solve anything and certainly not going to change the people in your life. Only they can change themselves. You worry about you.
My ex was the same way. I let him pick the pick up schedule so it would be convenient for him. Well, something always came up or he was late, etc. We had to start meeting in a public parking lot and I started bringing a 'witness' with me -just in case. So yeah, I understand. But there was nothing I could do and would just man up, do everything the right way and be compromisable. That's all you can do -you can't MAKE them be on time.
I know how stressful it can be. Try to be a positive patty!
Wishing you peace and strength.
You don't really want to drink and ruin your sober time. It's not going to solve anything and certainly not going to change the people in your life. Only they can change themselves. You worry about you.
My ex was the same way. I let him pick the pick up schedule so it would be convenient for him. Well, something always came up or he was late, etc. We had to start meeting in a public parking lot and I started bringing a 'witness' with me -just in case. So yeah, I understand. But there was nothing I could do and would just man up, do everything the right way and be compromisable. That's all you can do -you can't MAKE them be on time.
I know how stressful it can be. Try to be a positive patty!
Wishing you peace and strength.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 1,061
Come grumble here anytime, that's why we are hear to listen to each other and hopefully help each other. Make the most out of a boring night, find a movie that you want to watch, make some popcorn and just kick back and relax. Sometimes boring can be a great thing! Stay strong!
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
Instead of drinking, watch as movie--as recommended--and tomorrow go get a pedicure with the windfall. Then go buy something small to put in the house--even at an estate sale.
You know what? I LOVE collecting dishes. For years I was completely OBSESSED with dishes. I know the caps are kinda rude, but really. I have probably fifteen sets of mid-century dishes. I surfed the net for them, haunted every estate sale in the region, everything. Then I started drinking heavily. And I stopped buying dishes. Now that I've been sober just a few days I find myself wanting to pet the Franciscan. Maybe an estate sale or troll Ebay. Look at the pictures, see what I can get a great price for.
What do you miss? What did you lose while burying yourself in alcohol? Figure that out. I have rediscovered poetry and pottery. And in my right mind, I would never compromise either one of those incredible things for alcohol!
What do you miss? I'll check back a little later.
You know what? I LOVE collecting dishes. For years I was completely OBSESSED with dishes. I know the caps are kinda rude, but really. I have probably fifteen sets of mid-century dishes. I surfed the net for them, haunted every estate sale in the region, everything. Then I started drinking heavily. And I stopped buying dishes. Now that I've been sober just a few days I find myself wanting to pet the Franciscan. Maybe an estate sale or troll Ebay. Look at the pictures, see what I can get a great price for.
What do you miss? What did you lose while burying yourself in alcohol? Figure that out. I have rediscovered poetry and pottery. And in my right mind, I would never compromise either one of those incredible things for alcohol!
What do you miss? I'll check back a little later.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 62
Thanks for the support guys!! You are awesome!!
I knew when I came here to write, I wasn't actually going so far to play with the idea of drinking... but it's definitely the first time in the past 27 days that the idea of it has sprung up in my thoughts. I love that I can come here and grumble about it and you all understand. I ended up watching Criminal Mind re-runs, along side a thunderstorm raging outside... So it's safe to say I am sleeping with the lights ON tonight. :P
haha @ EmeraldRose I usually try to be a "positive patty" but sometimes a girl just has to have a "WTF?" moment. I've had a pretty good relationship with my daughter's father and his wife over the last couple of years or so -- but every once and awhile I let them get me a little riled up. Tonight was one of those nights.
@Missy... I don't really "miss" any hobbies as I haven't discovered many yet. I do like to read and have been doing more of that in the past year now that I have finally graduated university. I write a whole lot... Mainly just personal stuff, sometimes on a blog. I have discovered in the past month that I'm actually a pretty decent drawer... Never actually knew I had it in me. My daughter came home with all these sketch pencils so I tried it out and the results proved to be not too shabby... Definitely will play around with that some more. You mentioned pottery?? That is something I'd definitely like to get into. Right now the funds are tight as I still try and find a job -- post education so any virtually free ideas would be welcomed.. As for what I miss after the drinking -- it would mainly be the people I lost as a result of my intoxicated ridiculousness.
I knew when I came here to write, I wasn't actually going so far to play with the idea of drinking... but it's definitely the first time in the past 27 days that the idea of it has sprung up in my thoughts. I love that I can come here and grumble about it and you all understand. I ended up watching Criminal Mind re-runs, along side a thunderstorm raging outside... So it's safe to say I am sleeping with the lights ON tonight. :P
haha @ EmeraldRose I usually try to be a "positive patty" but sometimes a girl just has to have a "WTF?" moment. I've had a pretty good relationship with my daughter's father and his wife over the last couple of years or so -- but every once and awhile I let them get me a little riled up. Tonight was one of those nights.
@Missy... I don't really "miss" any hobbies as I haven't discovered many yet. I do like to read and have been doing more of that in the past year now that I have finally graduated university. I write a whole lot... Mainly just personal stuff, sometimes on a blog. I have discovered in the past month that I'm actually a pretty decent drawer... Never actually knew I had it in me. My daughter came home with all these sketch pencils so I tried it out and the results proved to be not too shabby... Definitely will play around with that some more. You mentioned pottery?? That is something I'd definitely like to get into. Right now the funds are tight as I still try and find a job -- post education so any virtually free ideas would be welcomed..
As for what I miss after the drinking -- it would mainly be the people I lost as a result of my intoxicated ridiculousness.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 207
Hey SullenGirl,
Thank you for your post. Today was very blah for this girl too and I pigged out on peanut butter sandwiches and breakfast cereal. But over the last several days I have been under a lot of stress and running around like a chicken with it's head cut off and dealing with a lot of unnecessary BS, so I think I deserved a 'day off', even though I feel like a fat pig now.
Tomorrow is another day to do what we want with it, and as long as we accept that 'there will be days like this' I think the less we'll feel bad about feeling bad and less compulsion to drink.
Go easy on yourself and post here as much as you need. Your posts do double duty by helping others, too!
Thank you for your post. Today was very blah for this girl too and I pigged out on peanut butter sandwiches and breakfast cereal. But over the last several days I have been under a lot of stress and running around like a chicken with it's head cut off and dealing with a lot of unnecessary BS, so I think I deserved a 'day off', even though I feel like a fat pig now.
Tomorrow is another day to do what we want with it, and as long as we accept that 'there will be days like this' I think the less we'll feel bad about feeling bad and less compulsion to drink.
Go easy on yourself and post here as much as you need. Your posts do double duty by helping others, too!
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Luton UK
Posts: 58
While I certainly don't subscribe to schadenfreude, it is helpful to read about other's frustrations and irritations. It helps to keep one's own hassles in perspective.
I'm now on Day 27 also, and I have been pretty down recently.
As a Brit, the 'local' (read 'pub') is part of our way of life. Every TV soap opera features the local as the central venue for group scenes. British beer may be an acquired taste to those more used to drinking fizzy chilled stuff, but to me it's been one of life's real pleasures. I miss the British pub culture and locally brewed English bitter.
It doesn't help that I'm a natural introvert, so sitting at home watching TV, stuffing my face with ice cream is the most frequent substitute and life feels a bit sh*tty.
I'm also in the process of withdrawing gradually from anti-depressants, which I believe will be easier if I'm not boozing.
I'm not suicidal, but I often ask myself "what's the point?"
Sorry if I appear to have hijacked this thread. I'm just struggling to see the benefits of sobriety versus having some pleasures in life.
Hence, knowing that others have bad times too can help. 'Hope this ramble makes some kind of sense.
I'm now on Day 27 also, and I have been pretty down recently.
As a Brit, the 'local' (read 'pub') is part of our way of life. Every TV soap opera features the local as the central venue for group scenes. British beer may be an acquired taste to those more used to drinking fizzy chilled stuff, but to me it's been one of life's real pleasures. I miss the British pub culture and locally brewed English bitter.
It doesn't help that I'm a natural introvert, so sitting at home watching TV, stuffing my face with ice cream is the most frequent substitute and life feels a bit sh*tty.
I'm also in the process of withdrawing gradually from anti-depressants, which I believe will be easier if I'm not boozing.
I'm not suicidal, but I often ask myself "what's the point?"
Sorry if I appear to have hijacked this thread. I'm just struggling to see the benefits of sobriety versus having some pleasures in life.
Hence, knowing that others have bad times too can help. 'Hope this ramble makes some kind of sense.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 62
@AllLiesandJest -- No worries -- grumble away!! I totally know what you mean about it being nice to read the frustrations and irritations of others. It's nice to have a place where other people relate. Some times when I'm having a hard time of it, I don't even need to post... I just read and it's just nice to know there are other people out there that know what this is like. I love reading the people who are just starting because it reminds me of WHY I quit drinking... I love reading people who have managed to keep away from alcohol much longer than I, so I can feel inspired. I also love when I post about my blahs and someone says "hey, I'm on day 27 too -- I also need to grumble..." It makes you feel less alone on this journey... Especially if you feel your every day life is saturated with people who are downing themselves in some thing you are trying to stay away from!!
I hope you are feeling better!! Good job on day 28 (I'm from Canada, not sure if you're here yet... but you will be soon)
I hope you are feeling better!! Good job on day 28 (I'm from Canada, not sure if you're here yet... but you will be soon)
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