wellwisher

Now I'm very concerned.

Please seek medical attention now.

Secrets keep us sick. Even if your roommate is there and has no idea what you are doing, she will be of no further help to you other than to call 911 if something happens. She will not be able to provide further information that may be critical to responding EMT's, if need be.

If shame or anonymity are your concerns, then it is even more important that your doctor knows. You are legally protected by doctor-patient confidentiality (or something like that), and at least someone will know what is going on.

You are choosing, imo, a rough, dangerous path, my friend. And it doesn't have to be that way. You do not have to be alone.

Call the AA hotline, explain your situation, and try to surround yourself with living breathing people. We can and will support you here, but unfortunately, the electronic touch can only go so far.

I wish you the best......

laurie6781

Canter you NEED to get to a DR now or an emergency room or whatever they are called in England.

You have just described the aftermath of a seizure and there may be more. This is now serious!!!!!!

Please get medical help ASAP.

Love and hugs,

FNB3

Only you know your body but that is pretty scary stuff being all jacked up and not known how it happened. I would definitely see some kind of health professional. Over here they have Urgent Care places that you can get in and out of. Also, no ER will ever turn you down even I you couldn't pay or something. I would find the closest ER and go. I'm sorry if you paid any attention to my earlier post or if it may have influenced you in any way. Hopefully, you haven't a clue what I'm talking about.

Hope you feel better very soon...

qpapq

I just waanted to let you know whats been happening today...

well i got a bit of a roasting in chat last night, seems my stupidity and niavety could be dangerous, I am truely sorry if I spooked anyone.. and I thank you for your concern, and you telling off!!

as a result I have spoken to my house mate and told her a little bit about what has been going on, just enough so she knows what to do if things get scary.

That said, I feel pretty good today, had quite intense palpitations last night, little flutters today, and my bones ache, my joints ache, like I got flu or something? Oh and I still got the dull headache today. but again physically I feel ok..

Last night, I went to sleep, slept for two lots of four hours, which is quite an achievement for me, and no horrid flashbacks... Hurrah!

My urges are quite strong today, I feel emotionally wretched, but now I am sitting under some sort of microscope, I feel like she is watching me every second, she is well meaning but oblivious, she dont know what she is looking for.. yet stare and gawp she does.

I want to cry, i want to get angry and scream at the world and demand the apology I dont deserve... I wont cos I cant.. But I wish I could.

I have taken to my bed, I am staying here, I have to try and stay out of harms way..

I am so unhappy. I thought day 5 would be a good day?

FT

CANTERBELL:

I came ALL THE WAY OVER HERE to this here Newcomers Thread to see how you are today. I am glad you didn't have another seizure. I still think you should get to a doctor, though, because even if a DOCTOR and not your roommate were sitting right next to you when and if you have another seizure, that person may not be able to help you to survive another episode like that. In hospital, people at risk for seizures have emergency anti-seizure medication in a medication cart near the bed so that medication can be administered on the spot. What do you think your roommate can do, "if things get scary"? The answer is: she won't be able to do ANYTHING. The damage a seizure can do happens in seconds, far quicker than emergency medical responders can get there to help you.

I don't mean to scare you, just wake you up.

Now I am going to walk ALL THE WAY BACK OVER to the substance abuse thread.

Bye.

FT

wellwisher

I am glad that, at a minimum, you have clued your roommate in. I truly am sorry that you feel you are under a microscope, but as stated yourself, she is oblivious to what she is looking for and probably under a bit of duress. She has been handed a great responsibility without the tools to deal with them, when in fact, the responsibility of your care lies in your hands, in conjunction with medical expertise.

You have made it onto this website. One of the purposes of this website is for those who suffer the disease of addiction to share their experiences. When many, many people express the same concerns, there is truth to them. It is not idle conversation and really should be considered, because many have been on the road you are now. I, personally, wish to spare anyone a harder path than most inevitably choose, but it is not my trouble to bear. In my opinion, the path to recovery means taking responsiblility for your own recovery by incorporating the suggestions made by those who have SUCCESSFULLY traveled the path before, and to try to do so without risk to yourself and others.

Take care of yourself. Please keep an open mind about what people are telling you, willingly consider that advice, take responsibility for yourself, and I promise you, the days do get progressively better provided you follow a recovery path; one day at a time.

I wish you the best......

wellwisher

Failedtaper:

Thank you for taking the walk!

qpapq

Ok, I feel now that I owe it to all of you that have taken the time to read and respond to take proper action. I feel like you feel I am trivialising your trials and fights, and I most certianly am not. I feel proud of each and everyone of you for fighting and winning.

I will go to a walk in centre and get checked this afternoon.

I will post again.

Thank you all so very much.

FNB3

CB, don't be afraid to tell them anything and don't minimize...believe me they have heard far, far worse than what you have to tell. Your trip to the clinic will be wasted if you don't disclose all the details there.

Don't know if this is a challenge for you...was for me.

Let us know what they say when you are done, ok?

artsoul

Congrats on day 5 - so sorry to hear how rough it's been for you. Just know that things will get better - it takes some time so be patient with yourself. Give yourself a chance to heal..... (and do get lots of vitamins - especially B vitamins, because alcohol destroys them). It really is like recovering from any other disease - it's all about baby steps.

I hope you can see someone today. Even though my detox wasn't bad, I found that I needed help for my depression and other mental/emotional issues. I had to take the attitude that I needed and deserved the best help I could get for myself.

Hang in there - we're on your side!!!:ghug3

citylights

Canter, I am with everyone else that you should go to the ER, they will give you some medication to help with the withdrawal, and also check you BP and heart rate. If it's too elevated, they will give you medication for that. This is the protocol for alcohol withdrawal.

The first time i got sober I cried every day, practically all day for a month straight. i was so scared and lonely and miserable and thought I never ever would enjoy life again. But I was wrong. A few months in, I just looked at the sky and felt the sun and smiled. I know you don't believe this right now, but you are going to feel better, xo

citylights

Oh canter, I miseed your entry about going to the clinic, that's great, you'll feel so much better to know that you're safe.

qpapq

Ok, so I just got back, spent an hour and a half on a heart monitor, I went initially under the guise of having them check the palpitations, showed nothing of concern, but they gave me a prescription for beta blockers,Which I cant get it filled until tomorrow.
I am not a big fan of pills, I know, stupid huh? One poison I enjoy and crave, another I avoid??

Anyway, Doc says I am overreacting, says that a woman of my age, with my history of comsumption isn’t really an alcoholic, says that two bottles or more of wine a night for close to 5 months is an elongated binge, and in order to put myself into danger I would have had to be drinking like that for over a year??

Basically I left there feeling like a silly little girl...

So now I feel a bit better, slightly less spooked, but still I feel stupid, like a complete idot.

What a fool! Again, I thank you, all of you for your support, I would like to continue coming in here, even if I am only a binge drinker, I feel safer when I do.

*hugs* for each and every one of you.

FT

Canterbell: There are a lot of "silly" people running around out there ALIVE because they went in to get checked out, only to find out they were fine. That is the POINT, dear girl. You go in BEFORE there can be issues, you find out what to do, and then you do it. I for one am seriously relieved you went in there. Not a single person here was going to be able to give you the reassurance that you are really safe. I worried about you all last night, thinking that maybe I supported your decision not to get checked out, reading my posts over again to make sure I did not cause you to stay home.

Like I said before, we are all very careful here, because some of us, including me, have had friends who did NOT go get checked out, and DIED because they were too "embarrassed" to check out scary symptoms.

Anyway, the beta blockers don't sound like a bad idea for you at the moment. That's all I will say about that.

Hey, at the very least, maybe these past few months, including your prolonged binge, put your feet to the fire just enough to warn you away for good!

FT

citylights

Canter--really happy to hear that you went and took care of it, and get some reassurance. But please don't go!! We need you here!

wellwisher

Whew!

I am very glad you went, as well. No, you aren't a "silly little girl" - it takes guts. You very clearly described a seizure in previous e-mails, and I'm hoping that was disclosed to the doctor, but in either case, you were medically cleared of any potentially life-threatening situation.

That being said, and labels aside, you have expressed a desire to stop drinking and want to learn more about it. Clearly, the two bottles of wine a night is causing you some difficulty and concern. You are in the right place. I encourage you to keep coming back, and back, and back. Keep posting

One foot in front of the other....

Signed,

One extremely concerned & fully relieved.....

Wellwisher

Dee74

I'm really glad you went - I don't think much of your Dr's diagnosis tho.
Sounds to me like they haven't much hands on experience with alcoholism.

D

ozgoddess

I totally agree with Dee. I feel that was a very irresponsible thing for your doctor to say. I feel that kind of advice could actually do you more harm...

But I am glad you went to the doctor.

FNB3

Not many Dr.'s that do not specialize in addiction will make a diagnosis of alcoholism. It's too subjective. Yet, most major insurance co.'s will say you are an alcoholic it you consume more than 2 servings of alcohol per month.

I am curious if the OP was able to be totally truthful about the possible seizures an stuff? I hope so...it's an important piece

qpapq

Sorry to be a doofass.. but OP?

I did tell him all I could, I was as honest as I could be.. Cried like a great big idiot, I am sure I just made him uncomfortable?

I know I made myself uncomfortable..

but then again, I also think he was like 12 or something...?




You are all awesome by the way.. Just thought I would say.

XX