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Dealing with family issues.

Old 05-17-2011, 05:50 PM
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Dealing with family issues.

I have 10 days sober and have told my sister, (who I have allowed to get in my face and rage, and I am not ready to deal with right now) that I need time to work on me and that when I am ready to talk to her I will let her know.

I have received an email from my daughter who knows I am working on getting sober wanting to know about communicating with me, specifically if I need space or not up to responding to emails it would help her to know my boundaries. I haven't said anything to my daughter regarding needing space, but I am sure they have been talking to each other. I want to respond to my daughter and keep from saying anything about my sister.

Anyone with experience regarding this kind of issue would share your experience with me would be greatly appreciated
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Old 05-17-2011, 06:10 PM
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Family...ug! I suggest you get to the nearest AA meeting. The steps will help with the family issues. In the meantime...check in here OH and don't drink!
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Old 05-17-2011, 06:20 PM
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When I stopped drinking, I didn't tell anyone.

Hopefully you can respond to your daughter and communicate with her, without mentioning your sister. Congratulations on your 10 days sober!
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Old 05-17-2011, 07:04 PM
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Thanks

I am grateful for the support, I am going to try responding to my daughter and hopefully I will say the right things.
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Old 05-17-2011, 08:08 PM
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How old is your daughter?

I'm like Anna...I don't discuss with my family....they don't get it and trying to explain it served no purpose to me.
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Old 05-17-2011, 08:09 PM
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The family tree can be really twisted. They certainly know how to push buttons that is for sure. Is it like a trust issue..like if you confide in your daughter it will get back to your sister? I guess I am thinking in early sobriety you get to call the shots..whatever works ...works! Maybe keep connecting with your daughter and if you can tell you need to keep the conversation only between you and her..I do understand this. I have a few nutbirds in my family that I communicate with only when I have to. And even then..I keep it short..to the point and sweet. Congrats on the 10 days..Family is no easy fix that is for sure...
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Old 05-17-2011, 08:22 PM
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Hi PS

I think its great if you communicate with your daughter & she really needs that.
From experience, (my sister was an alcoholic) my neice needed to know her mother was ok you know. she was about 17 when she left her home. I know that she would pick her up or try and meet her for small periods of time even if it was just coffee or shopping. sometimes I think it may have been more about spending time with her than actually talking to her on the phone/emails. My neice would tell me about the times they spent together but never really got into the nitties of it all. (I never asked either, as it was their time). Maybe your daughter will hopefully value your own relationship and not involve your sister. Dont worry too much about 'the right things to say.' Just love each other. How old is your daughter?
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Old 05-17-2011, 09:35 PM
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Family

wow, family can be such a pain; thanks to all for you support; my daughter is 37 years old and doesn't usually buy into other people stuff, but everything I say to either my daughter or sister gets shared between them.

I emailed my daughter and just told her I didn't have a problem with communicating with her and that usually I check my home emails in the morning. Now she is asking stuff like don't I have a computer at home and if I am using my phone to check them; and is there something else going. I'm not going to answer until morning.

I am growing tired of the fishing game and ready to tell them both off.
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