Thank you for all the Support
 

I have been in recovery since January. Everyday is a new day. I KNEW to my core I needed to get sober. I thought "just dont drink, Im done, Easy" That lasted maybe 3 days. I wanted my regular life minus the alcohol. Alcohol was such a major part of my life and I didnt realize it. I had to change A LOT of people, places, things. I fought like hell to not get outside support. Members on SR pushed me and pushed me to JUST GO TO A MEETING! LOL I didnt want to go to AA or see a therapist. That was really stupid. First off...I ask for help for simple things. If Im overwhelmed at work I give an assignment to another girl, if my car breaks down I call tripleA, if Im sick i go to the Dr, if Im having a cookout I call a friend and ask them to bring ice.....So why did I think that something as HUGE as alcoholism I could handle myself??

Now, I attend AA meetings, see a therapist and have quite a few sober friends I can call and truly depend on. I have skipped a few events to attend meetings. i declined an invitation to a wedding where there was an open-bar at the reception. The people survived. No one died because I wasnt there. I take a longer route to work so I can pray. I dont go to lunch with coworkers. I never attend happy hour (it never ended happy for me) I use the 5 minute rule when talking to certain people. I read SR all the time! I keep it on my phone and its my life line.

Im slowly but surely obtaining a new sober life. I love it! I will fight like he!! to keep sober. Remembering what happened the night before is never to be taken for granted.

Thank you very much!

Great job! People trying to get sober on SR are often asked "do you have a plan?" It sounds like you have a great one and that it continues to evolve. One thing I didn't get, what is to "5 minute rule" when talking to people?

ah "the 5 minute rule" my hokie therapist gave me that rule. There are people that we know will push our buttons. For me its a couple of family members. When they call, they get 5 minutes. I know they are ok, they know Im ok...and HAVE A GOOD DAY! If I give them more time I can potentially get upset/triggered and want to drink. Its working!

I enjoyed reading your post about how you changed day to day circumstances to support your sobriety. Impressive! you found what works and work it to your advantage.

( i use the morning dog walk as meditation time, it's quiet and peaceful most days...the dog is always forgiven if there is an interuption)

I'm glad you've found what works for you.:)

OklaBH - Thank you for sharing your experience. Your posts continue to be a blessing to me.

You relapsed for the last time within a few days of my finding SR last month. Your response to this event has been no less than an archetype for others who are caught in the relapse cycle. Not so much the specific steps you've taken (though it's my personal belief your steps would work for most), but your couragous, gritty, no-holds-barred approach to change. Thank you for this example and the hope your story brings.

OMG thank you everyone! I just love you guys! To clarify...Im not a shut in and my life doesnt revolve around AA meetings. I have seen peope in that cycle. Im finding a balance. I cant balance with a beer in my hand or when Im drunk. I ask my HP every morning "please keep me sober today" All Im promised is today. Yesterday is gone and there may not be a tomorrow. Im working and working to stay sober, and patch the holes in my soul. (yet another slogan my therapist uses Geez)

Wow. Congrats on your sobriety!!! That is just wonderful :) Thank you for the post, you are an inspiration.

-Jess

I loved your posts...and your enthusiasm shines through. It is truly a gift we receive when we learn new life skills and surround ourself with people who understand. That, and even just knowing that we can have lives that aren't dependent on outside substances, is the key that turns things around.

Great work and keep going......

I remember your past upset with a family function....( i'm sorry i may have missed the slip, i've been preoccupied with my mother's illness and then funeral).

you sound like you are getting the hang of this sober thing...and are starting to enjoy your LIFE....I think you are feeling better both mentally and physically???? yes????

Congratulations on your recovery OklaBH. That was a great post! I know what you mean about family. The 5 minute rule doesn't work with most of my family. My brothers used to call me up at 1-2 in the morning drunk just to yell at me for not calling them. The stress of that put me so close to the edge. I ended up changing my cell phone number and not giving it to them. My life and sobriety is more important to me. You can pick your nose, you can pick your family's nose, but you can't pick your family.

Fandy-- BIG YES. Things are coming together since finally getting sober and making changes. Funny thing...I was so upset about being cut out of some family functions-just devastated. Last week I got an invite to a HUGE family event at the lake this weekend. I declined. I wasn't rude about it. I simply said "maybe next time". I know it will be fun, I do want to see family BUT:
The lake + buckets of iced down beer + awkward family situations + me = drunk to an oblivion. I'm not strong enough yet. I may never be. A fun afternoon isn't worth my life....and I know now that the next drink could be the one that puts me in jail or kills me.

Thanks for the good morning post OklaB. I want to share what a help you have been to me. You are always positive and forward looking--and you obviously know how to manage yourself. I'm very moved by your ability to center yourself. I can't quite do that, but I can see it from here.

Over this past weekend, you were what I was most grateful for.

I'm grateful for you...how's that?? I read your post and teared up. You are very sweet. I stopped and started quite a few times.....I'll have just 1, just on the weekend, just at parties. It wasn't until I abandoned all my dumb ideas did I feel a sense of calm about sobriety. My alcoholic brain made it so damn difficult! Every situation made me anxious. I mean..how smart was my thinking??? I was the one that stayed drunk all the time LOL.

Oh and for the record.. I can't manage anything! LOL. I dropped 2 problems into my God-box just this morning!!

Excellent, OklaBH! :c011:

So glad things are going well and that you've found what works. Key for me has been acknowledging the importance of changing how I go about my days and it seems it was the same for you as well...funny that appears to be a common thread among those who succeed.

I love this and it's so so true. It's impossible (crazy?!) to keep doing what we've always been doing but expecting to do it sober. There's a reason why we hear "if nothing changes, nothing changes" around recovered folks so often... but it takes a huge amount of humility or a REALLY low bottom to accept that we are not unique and special and somehow different. Luckily for me, it was the former when I was finally ready to recognize/accept that I am an alcoholic and was fortunate enough to have the collective wisdom of the millions who have come before me and benefit from their experience, strength and hope.

Thanks for the inspiration and best of luck on your journey :)

Not one person is the same, and while we all have gone through the same nightmare, I have noticed we all share differing recovery methods. I am 58 days, and went through inpatient detox, and since then haven't changed a thing, I still play pool on a Monday but drink tea, I still attend social events, and drink tea, and don't do anything different at home other than drink tea instead of beer. I think thinking about ways to change behaviour actually does the opposite, and makes you think about it. I have more money now to say the least, and I still up a bit later rather than the missus dragging me to bed, but by the by, I haven't changed my routines. I never had a withdrawal after detox, I never wanted a beer, needed a beer, and had any urge to have a beer. Since my quit date, I have never looked back, only forward. Ive made plent of mistakes, and cannot change the past, but I can affect my future, and our bodies do millions of different actions per day, the only think I have concentrate on is not putting a glass of beer to my lips, that it, is it for me that simple, but hey I know its not that easy for others dont get me wrong, and hopefully if I can pass any enthusism, optimism, or inspiration to anyone on here I will gladly keep posting long into recovery.

^^^Hey PF, my fellow Marcher...glad you're still doing well and that keeping everything the same minus the drink has worked for you.

Best of luck on your continued journey :)

Glad its easy for you and you didn't have to change anything, good deal. But....isn't going inpatient and posting all the time on SR changes? I'm not trying to take your thunder but you've made changes. Inpatient is huge.

I must need more coffee because I hadn't even thought of that, lol. I've worked at inpatient rehab facilities (prior to my drinking days) and, yes, the change from regular life to that is huge. Inpatient care changes you forever.

you sound great B - I'm really glad to hear you're doing so well :)

D