My experience reducing drinking, next steps?
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Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 4
My experience reducing drinking, next steps?
This is the first time I've ever told anyone this. Maybe even the first time I've really sat down and thought about everything that I'm going to say, but for better or worse this is the story of my last few years. I'm posting this here because I'd like to have some feedback from other people struggling with the same issues and maybe I can help someone with my own experience.
Like most people, I started drinking in college. I drank quite a bit, as many college seniors do, but it was never a major part of my life until the year after graduation. I didn't immediately get a job, I was unemployed or partially employed waiting tables for nine months. I was depressed and I started to drink like a fish. I hid it from my family by being very clever about it: drinking a little from each bottle, carefully replacing bottles that I had emptied, etc. I was careful about being seen binge drinking, even though I was doing it nightly.
Even after I was employed for a few years and then went to graduate school, I kept up the heavy drinking. I was VERY high functioning. I don't say that as a mark of pride, I just managed to pull it off somehow. I didn't take morning classes because I needed to sleep in. I still managed to get good grades and complete all my work on time. It was never a "problem." I drank mostly at night when my wife couldn't see the amount I was consuming, etc. No one ever saw me have more than three drinks. I was careful. But I was also becoming more and more dependent on alcohol. On a bad week I was working through one and a half or nearly two bottles of vodka (1.75 L each).
About a year ago I went to the doctor for a physical. I sailed through it easily because I'm young (28) and had no obvious problems. However, when the blood test results came back both my liver function tests were abnormally high. The doctor wanted to do more tests...I was scared and ignored his request. I knew what the problem was....I was drinking too much. I realized that I had to DO something immediately, but I also didn't want to stop drinking. I never really hit "bottom" in the AA sense and, to be honest, I really like to drink. I love good beer and good wine. I don't want to give those things up. Was there a middle way, I asked myself?
The first step was to take a hard look at my current consumption and make some tough choices. I was shocked to learn how much I was really drinking. I always told myself I was having 4-5 "drinks." But of course these were very heavy pours. When I began to count my drinks carefully, using a tablespoon (one tablespoon is = 0.5 fluid oz, so 3 tablespoons of vodka is one drink.) I learned that I was actually drinking 8-10 per day! Every day... I felt like I had to do something -- I had success with dieting before by calorie counting and I wondered if I couldn't start drink counting too.
I began to slowly ween myself off vodka by carefully measuring drinks and reducing my consumption by a tablespoon, or 1/3 drink every few days. I also began pouring very weak drinks, half a "drink" or less in each glass and spreading out the drinking over a longer period of time. This helped a great deal. I found that even a very weak drink can trick the brain and keep away the cravings. Now I even plan out a night's drinking ahead of time writing down how many tablespoons will go in each glass and then checking these off as I go.
Now, a year later, I've successfully reduced my daily intake to four drinks. I know that might sound high to some people but it's a big success for me. I have some more work to do, I would like to get myself down to just three daily and then take stock of my situation. Up to three drinks is considered "moderate" for a guy of my size and weight so I hope I can maintain that balance as long as I'm careful. On the other hand, I'm a little worried about my liver. I'm afraid of having another physical and getting bad test results again, results that might mean I have to quit completely. I really, really don't want to have to quit. I think that I've been successful so far in reducing my intake by more than half and I'd like to continue that rather than quit cold turkey. Everything I've read about fatty liver disease and the like tells you that you need to quit completely for the liver to heal, but it makes sense to me that simply reducing my drinking to moderate levels might have the same effect.
Anyway, that's my struggle with alcohol.... so far, so good. I know that I still have some work to do. Any comments or feedback is welcome. Anyone else committed to reducing instead of quitting? I just hope it'll work in the long run. Moderate drinking is supposed to be healthy for you after all...
-Dominic
Like most people, I started drinking in college. I drank quite a bit, as many college seniors do, but it was never a major part of my life until the year after graduation. I didn't immediately get a job, I was unemployed or partially employed waiting tables for nine months. I was depressed and I started to drink like a fish. I hid it from my family by being very clever about it: drinking a little from each bottle, carefully replacing bottles that I had emptied, etc. I was careful about being seen binge drinking, even though I was doing it nightly.
Even after I was employed for a few years and then went to graduate school, I kept up the heavy drinking. I was VERY high functioning. I don't say that as a mark of pride, I just managed to pull it off somehow. I didn't take morning classes because I needed to sleep in. I still managed to get good grades and complete all my work on time. It was never a "problem." I drank mostly at night when my wife couldn't see the amount I was consuming, etc. No one ever saw me have more than three drinks. I was careful. But I was also becoming more and more dependent on alcohol. On a bad week I was working through one and a half or nearly two bottles of vodka (1.75 L each).
About a year ago I went to the doctor for a physical. I sailed through it easily because I'm young (28) and had no obvious problems. However, when the blood test results came back both my liver function tests were abnormally high. The doctor wanted to do more tests...I was scared and ignored his request. I knew what the problem was....I was drinking too much. I realized that I had to DO something immediately, but I also didn't want to stop drinking. I never really hit "bottom" in the AA sense and, to be honest, I really like to drink. I love good beer and good wine. I don't want to give those things up. Was there a middle way, I asked myself?
The first step was to take a hard look at my current consumption and make some tough choices. I was shocked to learn how much I was really drinking. I always told myself I was having 4-5 "drinks." But of course these were very heavy pours. When I began to count my drinks carefully, using a tablespoon (one tablespoon is = 0.5 fluid oz, so 3 tablespoons of vodka is one drink.) I learned that I was actually drinking 8-10 per day! Every day... I felt like I had to do something -- I had success with dieting before by calorie counting and I wondered if I couldn't start drink counting too.
I began to slowly ween myself off vodka by carefully measuring drinks and reducing my consumption by a tablespoon, or 1/3 drink every few days. I also began pouring very weak drinks, half a "drink" or less in each glass and spreading out the drinking over a longer period of time. This helped a great deal. I found that even a very weak drink can trick the brain and keep away the cravings. Now I even plan out a night's drinking ahead of time writing down how many tablespoons will go in each glass and then checking these off as I go.
Now, a year later, I've successfully reduced my daily intake to four drinks. I know that might sound high to some people but it's a big success for me. I have some more work to do, I would like to get myself down to just three daily and then take stock of my situation. Up to three drinks is considered "moderate" for a guy of my size and weight so I hope I can maintain that balance as long as I'm careful. On the other hand, I'm a little worried about my liver. I'm afraid of having another physical and getting bad test results again, results that might mean I have to quit completely. I really, really don't want to have to quit. I think that I've been successful so far in reducing my intake by more than half and I'd like to continue that rather than quit cold turkey. Everything I've read about fatty liver disease and the like tells you that you need to quit completely for the liver to heal, but it makes sense to me that simply reducing my drinking to moderate levels might have the same effect.
Anyway, that's my struggle with alcohol.... so far, so good. I know that I still have some work to do. Any comments or feedback is welcome. Anyone else committed to reducing instead of quitting? I just hope it'll work in the long run. Moderate drinking is supposed to be healthy for you after all...
-Dominic
rode hard and put away wet
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 999
Just reading all that makes my head spin. When you say "struggle", you weren't kidding. Wouldn't it just be easier to take all the time and energy you waste to maintain this lifestyle in accordance to the dictates of your alcohol intake and just live life instead without it? I find it so much simpler just to live without it. But that's just me.
Also, and I don't mean to scare you, but my friend at age 30 is dying from complications of alcohol. He quit drinking two years ago. It can happen to anyone of any age.
Best of luck with this. Alcoholism is an awful disease.
Much love.
Also, and I don't mean to scare you, but my friend at age 30 is dying from complications of alcohol. He quit drinking two years ago. It can happen to anyone of any age.
Best of luck with this. Alcoholism is an awful disease.
Much love.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
wow, that's some extensive self-diagnosis...you know what they say about a "doctor" who treats his own illness? he has a Fool for a patient.
why don't you go back to your PCP and get the liver function tests and see how high they are now? i wouldn't stick with the tablespoon method..
why don't you go back to your PCP and get the liver function tests and see how high they are now? i wouldn't stick with the tablespoon method..
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, Dominic, welcome to SR!
I suspect you're about to hear from a lot of people who tried to moderate and failed. I'm definitely one of them.
By "fail", I don't mean that I couldn't limit my intake. I mean that I couldn't limit it and be happy. It was very stressful. Honestly I get a little stressed reading your post. So let me ask you this: Do you want to spend the rest of your life counting out spoonfuls of vodka, night after night, year after year?
To be blunt, even if you're better off physically (and that's a big IF, as Bella's post notes), how is your life any better? A slave is a slave, regardless of whether your master is one glass of vodka or 100.
I suspect you're about to hear from a lot of people who tried to moderate and failed. I'm definitely one of them.
By "fail", I don't mean that I couldn't limit my intake. I mean that I couldn't limit it and be happy. It was very stressful. Honestly I get a little stressed reading your post. So let me ask you this: Do you want to spend the rest of your life counting out spoonfuls of vodka, night after night, year after year?
To be blunt, even if you're better off physically (and that's a big IF, as Bella's post notes), how is your life any better? A slave is a slave, regardless of whether your master is one glass of vodka or 100.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,312
Hi Dominic
Welcome
That sounds way too exhausting for me...but it's something I probably would have done too had my drink not been beer.
I all ask what I asked myself...
Is keeping alcohol in your life worth that much effort?
As for your liver.... the CDC defines moderate drinking as
so even if you do cut back to three, you'll still be a heavy drinker by US standards.
To be frank, that makes no sense to me if you're really worried about your liver.
D
Welcome
That sounds way too exhausting for me...but it's something I probably would have done too had my drink not been beer.
I all ask what I asked myself...
Is keeping alcohol in your life worth that much effort?
As for your liver.... the CDC defines moderate drinking as
drinking in moderation is defined as having no more than 1 drink per day for women and no more than 2 drinks per day for men. This definition is referring to the amount consumed on any single day and is not intended as an average over several days.
To be frank, that makes no sense to me if you're really worried about your liver.
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 4
First, I want to thank everyone who responded. I appreciate the support as well as the critical comments. At first I was a little annoyed at the latter, and then I realized, after some thought, that you guys were telling me a hard truth that I needed to hear. At the end of the day I was patting myself on the back for going from "insane drinker" to "heavy drinker" which honestly, isn't something to celebrate.
To those of you who said my counting system was "exhausting," well, I supposed it was a fair amount of work. But without it, I would never have reducing my consumption by 50-60%. I'm in a much better place now because of it, a place where I can even consider reading forums like these...
All that said, I think you all are right. Yesterday I had two drinks only: 1 beer and 1.5 oz of liquor. It was easier than I thought it was going to be. Based on your feedback, I may quit entirely soon or I may try to maintain at 1-2 drinks a day for awhile. I'm taking the definition of "moderate" much more seriously now. In the meantime, I'll read more of these forums and think about my decision. Either way, there will be no more free passes or "today I won't count" crap. I need to be responsible about this. It isn't worth the damage it might do to me.
Thanks for your feedback.
To those of you who said my counting system was "exhausting," well, I supposed it was a fair amount of work. But without it, I would never have reducing my consumption by 50-60%. I'm in a much better place now because of it, a place where I can even consider reading forums like these...
All that said, I think you all are right. Yesterday I had two drinks only: 1 beer and 1.5 oz of liquor. It was easier than I thought it was going to be. Based on your feedback, I may quit entirely soon or I may try to maintain at 1-2 drinks a day for awhile. I'm taking the definition of "moderate" much more seriously now. In the meantime, I'll read more of these forums and think about my decision. Either way, there will be no more free passes or "today I won't count" crap. I need to be responsible about this. It isn't worth the damage it might do to me.
Thanks for your feedback.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Dominic, if you can, please get the books "Under the Influence" and "Beyond the Influence". This will teach you more about alcohol and alcoholism than you can imagine. Also, please go back to the Dr and get the liver workup done. You really can't leave that to chance.
And of course come back here if you need support.
And of course come back here if you need support.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Wow is all I got to say..I thought I was bad asking my bartender friend to send me home with one of those measured pourers they use to cap the drinks so they don't overpour. But this is brutal obsession with alcohol. Down to teaspoons...that seems like it would keep you in constant withdrawal.
I was an ALL or All drinker. It was just so much easier to cut it out of my life..it wasn't even counting my losses..It was a HUGE gain to cut it out completely. I do hope you find some peace in whatever you decide to do..you won't find many if ANY moderators here...I wish you well.
I was an ALL or All drinker. It was just so much easier to cut it out of my life..it wasn't even counting my losses..It was a HUGE gain to cut it out completely. I do hope you find some peace in whatever you decide to do..you won't find many if ANY moderators here...I wish you well.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 4
It's not an obsession with alcohol, it's an obsession with reducing my consumption. As I've said, I've been successful in that, no lies, no BS. I'm counting every drop. I may quit entirely soon, but I am afraid, and was even more afraid before, of having serious withdrawal symptoms. I realize I'm an addict, but if I slowly cut things over time I think it will be healthier and in some ways "easier" (although I know that's a relative term) than if I had tried to quit cold turkey from 10 drinks a day. I actually think I can do this successful now. Six months ago it was a different story.
Like I said, I had 2 drinks yesterday. I think I will just have one today. I'm a little jittery and anxious, but so far so good.
Like I said, I had 2 drinks yesterday. I think I will just have one today. I'm a little jittery and anxious, but so far so good.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Why not stop drinking for the time be. Give your liver a brake. I know your trying to reduced your alcohol consuming but why not stop for a week and see how you feel. Just to get your mind off of alcohol. That jittery and anxious is from your daily intake of alcohol. I know your trying to become a social drinker but take sometime off for now.
lillyknitting
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
Hi, having just read your post WOW, purely, utterly, unadulterated shouts the insanity of the "disease" alcoholism. The denial is screaming at me. You must be totally exhausted, trying to moderate the drinking and yet cannot perceive of total abstinence which is infinitely more wonderful than what you are going through. Thank you for your post, it has reminded me of the horrors and indecisiveness which I have suffered from also for many many years. I now know I am in the right place!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Well, it's a good thing that you are reducing your consumption... But don't kid yourself, if you are obsessing about reducing your intake of alcohol, you are obsessing about alcohol... Really.
Hey, it's OK... You may be able to moderate, eventually, without counting... Which is what normal drinkers do, without even thinking about it...
Hey, it's OK... You may be able to moderate, eventually, without counting... Which is what normal drinkers do, without even thinking about it...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Originally Posted by DominicC 
It's not an obsession with alcohol, it's an obsession with reducing my consumption. As I've said, I've been successful in that, no lies, no BS. I'm counting every drop. I may quit entirely soon, but I am afraid, and was even more afraid before, of having serious withdrawal symptoms. I realize I'm an addict, but if I slowly cut things over time I think it will be healthier and in some ways "easier" (although I know that's a relative term) than if I had tried to quit cold turkey from 10 drinks a day. I actually think I can do this successful now. Six months ago it was a different story.
Like I said, I had 2 drinks yesterday. I think I will just have one today. I'm a little jittery and anxious, but so far so good.
Like I said, I had 2 drinks yesterday. I think I will just have one today. I'm a little jittery and anxious, but so far so good.
or maybe you don't want to know what your LFT numbers would currently register? then you couldn't validate the obsession with the teaspoons and "cutting back".
believe me, i wish i could take back the many times i did not listen to my doctor....
of course you can expect to be jittery, it's a physical response to alcohol withdrawal....if that is the extent of your problems, you are lucky... call your doctor on Monday and get an appointment. tell him/her how much you drink and for how long....they need to know the truth to help you get over withdrawal safely.
I hope you have been reading a lot here....you will find some eye-opening scary posts from people who have seriously damaged their livers and are agonizing waiting for results of their tests.
I'm not saying this to sound callous or unkind towards you, i just don't think you realize the serious issues/damage you are in for if you keep drinking....cutting down is not the answer.
i took the long road to get to sobriety, i hope yours is shorter and less painful.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi and welcome!
Congrats on reducing your intake so much...I'm impressed....I'm also exhausted but that's just me
The good news is you should have an easier time quitting g now than you did when consuming 10 a night. And I really hope you quit and let your liver heal...you are young and have a lot of life ahead of you.
LaFemme
Congrats on reducing your intake so much...I'm impressed....I'm also exhausted but that's just me
The good news is you should have an easier time quitting g now than you did when consuming 10 a night. And I really hope you quit and let your liver heal...you are young and have a lot of life ahead of you.
LaFemme
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
DominicC,
Well, one thing's for sure; ...you're committed and determined. I think it's great how successful you've been.
If, and when, you do decide to give your body a break for several months; ....then see how it goes ?
my experience trying to moderate was not too successful, wasted a lot of years. I think I'd exhausted about every method I could dream up.
Anyway, congrats on cutting down like you have, ; ...withdrawals should be less vicious anyway.
You'll find a lot of support here at SR. This place saved my butt over 13 months ago.
Well, one thing's for sure; ...you're committed and determined. I think it's great how successful you've been.
If, and when, you do decide to give your body a break for several months; ....then see how it goes ?
my experience trying to moderate was not too successful, wasted a lot of years. I think I'd exhausted about every method I could dream up.
Anyway, congrats on cutting down like you have, ; ...withdrawals should be less vicious anyway.
You'll find a lot of support here at SR. This place saved my butt over 13 months ago.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
You maybe need to look at this site about moderate drinking. They said that you need to stop drinking for a month. I'm guessing they do that to see how if feels to be sober and if you can stay sober that long without cravings.
Welcome to Moderate Drinking
Welcome to Moderate Drinking
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Hi Dom and welcome.
As others have stated it does sound exhausting and since I quit I can't see spending so much energy on booze. It just takes so much time and effort and really, where is it getting you? My energy sober is so much more useful in other areas of my life. Four drinks is nothing and it would be hardly worth my energy. LOL
I've been drinking all of my adult life (30 years). I have tried many times to 'not to drink so much'. Not to the extent that you have but regardless it would always waver back to the insanity.
Now that I've quit some 100 days or so now I can honestly say that I am so relieved that it is all over. It's out of my life. It's out of my mind. I'm not obsessing over it anymore and I am finally free from its grip. I just can't see worrying about it for the rest of my life. I have other things to think about besides drinking.
I'm not sure where you expect to go with your moderation. Are you planning on 'thinking' about it every single time you drink for the rest of your living days? You can call it an obssession with reduction or whatever you feel necessary for justification but to me as a recovering alcoholic it does sound obsessive.
Wishing you peace and strength.
As others have stated it does sound exhausting and since I quit I can't see spending so much energy on booze. It just takes so much time and effort and really, where is it getting you? My energy sober is so much more useful in other areas of my life. Four drinks is nothing and it would be hardly worth my energy. LOL
I've been drinking all of my adult life (30 years). I have tried many times to 'not to drink so much'. Not to the extent that you have but regardless it would always waver back to the insanity.
Now that I've quit some 100 days or so now I can honestly say that I am so relieved that it is all over. It's out of my life. It's out of my mind. I'm not obsessing over it anymore and I am finally free from its grip. I just can't see worrying about it for the rest of my life. I have other things to think about besides drinking.
I'm not sure where you expect to go with your moderation. Are you planning on 'thinking' about it every single time you drink for the rest of your living days? You can call it an obssession with reduction or whatever you feel necessary for justification but to me as a recovering alcoholic it does sound obsessive.
Wishing you peace and strength.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: TN
Posts: 162
Welcome to SR & best of luck in whatever you try to do regarding drinking.
No one here can properly "diagnose" you as an acoholic. That's a determination left up to you. I can say that my drinking was comparable to what you describe through college/post-grad. Difference is that mine soon got out of hand shortly thereafter real quick and real bad. Had it not been for legal issues and the other consequences, I have no doubt that I would not have tried to quit. You dont seem to have that problem. Again, only you can determine if you are an alcoholic.
I can tell you though that normal drinkers do not go to the extreme that you have descibed to moderate their consumption. They also don't frequent online recovery forums regading alcoholism seeking advice for the same,
No one here can properly "diagnose" you as an acoholic. That's a determination left up to you. I can say that my drinking was comparable to what you describe through college/post-grad. Difference is that mine soon got out of hand shortly thereafter real quick and real bad. Had it not been for legal issues and the other consequences, I have no doubt that I would not have tried to quit. You dont seem to have that problem. Again, only you can determine if you are an alcoholic.
I can tell you though that normal drinkers do not go to the extreme that you have descibed to moderate their consumption. They also don't frequent online recovery forums regading alcoholism seeking advice for the same,
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