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-   -   Turning down the wine :) (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/227193-turning-down-wine.html)

SullenGirl 05-16-2011 11:34 AM

Turning down the wine :)
 
So my last post was a bit emotional and dreary so I thought I would look for a positive in this weekend to balance it out (on week 3). :)

I am lucky in the way that most of my really close friends are not big drinkers. I have one that occasionally enjoys her wine but not having a problem -- she could careless if I share it with her or not... The majority of our plans don't include drinking and even though she's probably my closest friend... When I was drinking, we probably only ended up drinking together a couple times a year. The others drink MAYBE once a year.

I had two friends however, that even though I didn't really regard as my "closest" friends, I spent a lot of time with them because they are heavy drinkers... My "drinking" buddies I guess is more what they are. They're both a lot like me and when I drank, I gravitated to them because if I did something stupid... They'd brush it off because it easily could have been them regretting what they did the night before.

This time that I have quit drinking, I haven't made it a big deal like I have every other time. I have kind of mentioned it in passing to most of my close friends but that's it. For me, making a big deal out of it makes it harder for me. I only really count days before I post here because for me, if I think about it too much it just adds a lot of pressure and I find I feel more likely to start drinking again. I just have regarded it as now, I simply just don't drink.

This weekend, both of my drinking buddies asked me to get together for drinks on two separate occasions. This is the first time I have had the opportunity to practice saying "no, sorry, I don't drink anymore." While I feel it was easy because I wasn't sitting right in front of them -- it still felt great to just say "no." Both of them were actually pretty awesome about it but I have a feeling that I will be hearing less of them as time goes on and they start to understand I'm not changing my mind this time.

So YAY to turning down the wine!!!

PaleMale 05-16-2011 11:41 AM

Good for you!

And those people who really apply pressure to drink, are not really friends. Or may be trying to take hostages to share their misery (and drinking problem.) :c011:

Dee74 05-16-2011 02:44 PM

Good for you SG - that's a big step :D

D

RyanRed 05-16-2011 03:09 PM

Hey thats awesome! I know it can be hard for sure!

Most of my friends are all drinkers. One of them is always trying to get me to drink. He knows Ive quit the stuff, but he still thinks he can break me. But hes wrong! Hes not breaking nobody! I just dont think he realizes how serious I am about stopping drinking, but hes slowly getting the idea :)

But again awesome job! Keep it up and you will be on your way to a better life!

Stay strong!

-Ryan

Anna 05-16-2011 04:24 PM

Good for you!

I also didn't make a big deal out of stopping drinking. And, I think learning to say "No, thanks" was so important.

erikm02 05-16-2011 04:35 PM

I'm about to go through the same. Everyone I know drinks. Will be hard to find other stuff to go out and do on weekends....

MsCooterBrown 05-16-2011 08:06 PM

That was a rude awakening for me..I had surrounded myself with hard core drinkers..when I quit..they all stayed at the bar. But not drinking has brought on a new life for me. I have always held a good job to keep me busy. I am slowly making friends with people that don't have alcohol as the center of their universe. And each day I wake up feeling good. I also know I do the best I can to be around to help others when they need it. I was too drunk all the time before so it is my turn to give back. I don't worry about announcing to everyone I quit..most people have figured it out by now. Sounds like you are on the right path to start a new lifestyle!

BakoGal 05-16-2011 08:17 PM

Great job! I am also at 3 weeks. I can totally relate to your post. I also decided not to make a big deal about not drinking this time around. There has been a small hole in my life where the drinking with buddies time used to be. But, I am confident I can fill that time with hobbies, time with non-drinking friends, etc. Keep up the good work.


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