maddoser

I have reached a point where all my loved ones (who havn't stopped talking to me) want me to go to an inpatient rehab center in oregon. I have a great business but have a nasty habit of binge drinking every night and often going on 3-4 day benders that include a lot of money spent and a lot of memory lost. I also use cocaine pretty regularly when I drink (usually I use it alone and hide it from everyone around me). I also see myself turning from a really good person into a liar which scares me.

My big concern is that I know there are people worse off then me so I don't want to walk into a rehab center feeling embarrassed because my problems are dwarfed by others... Anyone else have this stupid/egotistical fear about rehab? Am I underestimating my problems?

Thanks

iliveforyou

Hi and welcome to SR first

I've been in and out of rehab many times. Only you will know if you are truly ready to quit. I have failed many a time when I attempted to quit for someone else, it never lasted for very long. I wasn't ready to put the work forth in my recovery because I wasn't ready.

You must do this for yourself and only yourself. Rehab will give you the tools for recovery but it will be onifferent k you to do the work.

I've never personally had the problem you are experiencing right now but I will tell you I do think that you are minimizing your addiction. In rehab you will usually find lots of different kinds of people, with different addictions and often from different socio economic backgrounds.

If you are committed to finding your recovery, rehab might be the right choice for you.

I wish you luck

-Jess

Dee74

I've never been to rehab but I know I put off doing something about my problem for a long time by looking at my circle of friends...I wasn't as bad as that guy, I always paid my bills unlike that guy, I never hurt anyone like that guy does...

the point I missed back then was this isn't a competition. I'm not judged by who's next to me, I'm judged by myself, on the impact alcohol is having on my life and my relationships.

If you can face that judgement honestly and admit you need help to turn this around then forget the fear we all feel...and grab that help - whether it be inpatient or outpatient rehab, or a recovery group like AA or SMART, or counselling....

the key to making your life different is doing something different MD

Here's some links to some of the main recovery players to check out if you want

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

D

Taking5

Yes, yes you are.

You go one 3-4 day binges and lose memory.

You spend too much money.

You turn from a really good person into a liar, and it scares you.

Finally, all of your loved ones have either stopped talking to you or they want you to go to rehab. Could they all be wrong? All of them?

Forget about the other people in rehab, worry about yourself. Actually the other people in rehab will likely be just like you - they still have jobs and resources to actually GO to rehab. The ones worse off than you, many of them, will die a lonely alcoholic death in the streets, or in a flophouse somewhere. Some of them sober up, but they won't be in rehab because they have lost too much to afford it.

You have a hell of an opportunity here. Take it.

Zebra1275

Am I underestimating my problems?

Yes. Sometimes we refer to that as denial.

Things are not going to get better, only worse, alcoholism is progressive.

Mark75

I went to rehab to keep my job... I don't believe you will find yourself out of place there, LOL.

There will always be someone who is further down than you, even in jail. The morgue, not so much.

Get recovered! It's a tough journey, but it's all good.

Saliena

I went to rehab when I knew I couldn't go on the way I was. I have a six figure job, a boat, motorcycle, nice car, swimming pool... and alot of my friends were worse off then I was. You know what? I made the decision to go to rehab because of the effect drinking was having on my life. I could not keep up the front anymore. I was drinking at work... I was drinking at home, I was drinking on the way from work to home... and finally I wreaked my nice car. 11K worth of damage and I walked away from the accident... and didn't (by the grace of God alone) hurt anyone else.

Recovery is your decision... you can not compare your addiction to the next guy. The next guy may be able to stop drinking or not.. and you may or may not be worse off or better then him. But, it sounds like drinking is affecting your life in a way that isn't good.

Take your recovery into your own hands.

Enoy

The feeling you are having is about the same one most people have prior to attending AA for a month. After a month ( or less ) most people realize that the " vision " of how bad people have it is usually false.


It sounds like it may be time. Only you can decide if it is though.

To your concerns. I went in still holding a good job , only one family member not talking to me , Still had custody of both my kids...still in my home and with a car and the amenities I wanted at home... No troubles with the law. etc etc.


BUT.... I knew I had a problem. I stopped comparing my problem to others and stopped justifying and minimizing my problem by finding someone worse off than me to compare myself to.

The funny thing you will see in rehab is there will be many others in there that are better off than you are. I was kind of middle of the pack. Half of the people didn't seem to have a real problem , they just got popped at work for a rare event (alot of railroad folks at this one). Many of these people didn't want to be there or to quit at all.

Then there were those that just got out of prison and those that just lost everything ( house/marriage/kids/license/etc... )

You will learn alot in rehab that hopefully will open your eyes to your own self.

You could tell the ones there voluntarily and wanting to get clean versus those that didn't and were forced.... But I saw a few instances where people came in there angry , pissed , not wanting to be there and hating every minute leave at the end with a new outlook , a new hope , a new understanding of what they want out of themselves and life.

Whatever you decide, good luck to you.

Bingen

Go to rehab. It is a good idea. You will not loose anything.
If you do not go at this stage. you might land up there against your will, in future.
Such is devastating influence of alocoholism. It is progressive and always gets worst.

EmeraldRose

Iliveforyou is right...you must do this for yourself. Or it won't work.
I ran to rehab after I lost my job...at that point I really didn't care what their problems were. They take each case differently and understand you for who you are and what your problem is.
I wasn't as bad off as most of the others in the trouble I got into. Most had been to jail, had DUI's, lost custody, wore ankle jewelry, etc. But I had my own problem that I needed to solve for me. It was time and I was ready. I wouldn't have cared why you were there...I needed help and since everyone is on their own journey I could be supportive to others but ultimately I was there for me.
I recently heard that one lady who had just gotten her kids back was back in jail. She's been struggling for a long time and doesn't get it. I hope you will take advantage of what is offered...you get out what you put in. YOU have to do it for you.

aasharon90

Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

Family intervention brought me to the doors of
rehab 20 years ago. It was my family getting me
help I so desperately needed at that time in my
life and marriage.

I spent 28 days recieving the knowledge of my
alcoholism teaching me how I could and can
live a day at a time without alcohol. I was handed
those tools and knowledge to carry with me thru
out my recovery journey and apply it to my every
day life.

Today I am extremely grateful to have been given
that opportunity to become willing to do whatever
I needed to do to stay sober, stay alive and stay
with my family.

20 yrs later I am still on my journey, still living and
incorperating the 12 steps and principles as a guideline
to live by each day. Thru living and learning about my
alcoholism, I am a better person, happier, freer, honest
person that I possibly can be today and for those around
me.

It's not just not drinking anymore, but rather living a
healthier, sober life using the knowledge given to us
to live by and passing it on to others that still suffer.

That is my soul purpose in life today. To give away
the knowledge of recovery that was so freely passed
on to me over the past 20 yrs in order to stay sober
today, God willing tomorrow and a lifetime.

opmloser

Everyone who posted is spot-on...I had a business and lost it because of addiction and then I went into a rehab. You've still got your business but if you keep up the binging/drugging, you might lose what you worked so hard for. You have to want to be clean and sober, forget the comparisons to everyone else. Rehab isn't just a place that helps you stop, you'll also get "the tools" to stay away from the drugs/alcohol. It ain't easy but then again, nothing in life that's good ever is...
Best of luck to you!

farmer

Are you really ready to be sober? Have you really hit bottom? Do you understand what you will lose if you aren't at the bottom yet?

Don't wait 40 years to go like I did. I had to go through stage III alcoholism before I went. It was awful. Pathological Organ Changes. isolation, not knowing myself anymore and not liking myself.

You will be lucky if you find someone "better off" in rehab than you. I didn't. Many have to go to keep their medical license or by court order. I didn't, I went on my own and that alone helped me help myself better. I didn't have the legal and relationship problems many had but mine were bad enough.

You are admitting you have a problem and that is step one. If you are powerless over alochol and your life is unmanageable you might make it in AA with a good sponsor. Start going to meetings, plead your case when you are ready and you will find a temporary sponsor until you find that right person to be your full sponsor.

That didn't work for me. I had to spend $30,000 insurance and cash to be fully immersed in the new disease model and AA. I feel so much better.

I wish you well and that will only come with sobriety.

wellwisher

Ditto to all of the above.

I opted to go into rehab after I resisted going into AA (fear of seeing someone I knew, resistance to the concept of Higher Power). I sought help from an outpatient clinic, and after speaking with the counselor, she encouraged me to go inpatient. I guess I went outpatient because I figured I had to be drinking because of underlying psychological reasons, but was told it would be unlikely that I could resolve those issues while actively abusing substances. I had to get my mind clear, and then tackle issues.
Surprisingly to me, many of my "issues" were not psychological issues, but ended up being the symptoms of excessively using alcohol. There was work to do, but the application of living the AA program has been the solution. I wasn't "nuts".

I got a fantastic education about addiction, attended in-house and then local AA meetings, and when I got out of rehab, I already made connections to those in the "outside" AA meetings, which brought down my anxiety level about walking into AA "cold", if you will.

Rehab also gave me time and space to deal specifically with alcohol issues without having to deal with the madness (and patterns) in the "outside" world. I feel like I jumped into sobriety with both feet, and lived and breathed it during my stay there. It was the basis for seventeen years of sobriety. The life skills I learned there; the education I received about addiction, and the general support in bridging the gap from "inside" life to "outside" life was phenomenal. Once I walked into those doors, I never once picked up a drink again. No relapses, which I directly attribute to my having dove in with both feet.

I, too, run a business today, and know all too well that they can fall apart in this economy, but when you couple it with active addiction, you stand the chance to lose it all. The nature of the disease is progressive - it does not get better unchecked.

I wish you well......

Raindance

Do it do it do it do it.

The longer you wait, you'll just end up one of those people that's worse off, if you make it. Those "people" will also tell you that they wish they had gone sooner.

When I went, I felt the same way, I even was told by some people that I didn't seem that bad.

It was bad enough for me, and for my family, so it was the right time for me. You'll also be setting a good example for other people, that getting help is the right thing to do, no matter what "state" you're in.

It's never to early to get your life back, the longer you wait for it to get worse, all it will do is get worse.

Most of the people that were there had charges, and DUIs and jail time in their future, I thanked god that I was getting help before those things happened to me. It was by complete luck that I have never gotten a DUI charge, and i'm sure my luck was running out.