candr

Howdy All,

Well I was on a good roll, made five months without drinking. I was attending AA but still wondering in back of my head if I was as bad as I thought. When I first quit, my withdrawl wasn't horribe...anxiety and obsession was the worst of it. To make a long story short, I've been out of town on business and the big bosses invited me out. The first couple times I made exscuses and didn't show up. the last invite was a mandatory meeting and i didn't plan on drinking, but I don't have the type of job I can be very open about drinking issues with. Unfortunately, I had some beers and I was worried how bad I was going to feel. It's three days later now, and honestly I don't feel anything bad. No anxiety, no obsession, and the cravings haven't returned. I'm not planning on drinking, but i'm wondering if this has happened to anyone else. Is there people that quit and learn to be normal drinkers. Like I said, I'm not planning on drinking, and honestly it wasn't that fun...I've been having a better time being sober. Thanks.

checkmate1

I'm sure there are people who have returned to moderate drinking after abstinence. I think I would be playing with fire if I thought it was safe to go back. There was a time where I stuck to moderate drinking within the proper guidelines for over a year but after a while you progress and end up in a place worse than you were before.

There is no safe drinking for alcoholics. We all love that buzz. But that buzz can be destructive, hence that is why a lot of us have quit because we have proven to ourselves we can't moderate and our lives have become unmanageable.

Dee74

sometimes I drank and had no, or next to no, withdrawal symptoms.

In my stupidity I used to call that a 'win' - and I'd go back to drinking...I always ended up in the same bad spot.

It's one of the worst things that can happen to drinkers like us....nothing.

There's absolutely nothing to be gaining by dabbling with drinking IMO, Candr.

This is the right place if you want support to quit for good

D

BHF

From my personal experience, I echo Checkmate 1. I have quit, went back out and "drank successfully" for a limited period of time (usually no more than a couple months), BUT it has always progressed quickly to the point where I was drinking exactly as I was prior to quitting, or worse. And it has always led to more consequences in the end.

I do not believe that an alcoholic such as myself can ever successfully return to drinking moderately. Even the few times I tried and got away with it for a while, I didn't really get away with it because I knew and I was always waiting for the other shoe to fall...which it always did.

RyanRed

You mentioned that you were asking yourself if you were really that bad of a drinker at one point. Well ask yourself this. If you weren't, why in Gods name did you end up in AA. I'm sure there are different levels of how bad of a drinker people are, but each level should be treated with the same respect. Just because you were able to drink one time, and feel ok doesnt mean thats how it will end up every time. We as alcoholics know that deep down inside. But we like to lie to ourselves sometimes.

Stay strong!

-Ryan

SparklingSeven

Ha ha ha!

Yep, been there, done that cost me numerous relapses. I would start again, leave it a week or two, have another go - thinking I had it cracked, then quite quickly degenerating beyond where I had been before. Every time, without fail. Sure it can sometimes seem like it's getting better, but if you are alcoholic it only gets worse.

Good luck!

Stu.

Trying2doBetter

If you are TRULY an alcoholic, then you are playing with fire. Over the past year and a half, I have watched my alcoholic mother-in-law (16 years sober) fall back into the grasp of alcohol. When she had her first drink, I remember her saying " I can handle it." Wasn't too long before she was downing a couple of bottles of wine per day--she is now completely out of control (drinking as soon as she wakes up in the morning) but will actually sit and tell us that "when she makes up her mind, she won't do it anymore." If she ever does put it down again, I am convinced that she can NEVER pick it up again because of her illness.

My question would be this....Is it worth playing with the fire when there is a very good chance that you will get burned?

Anna

Hi,

If you are an alcoholic, you might be able to moderate your drinking for awhile, but I think the obsession and lack of control will return in the long run. If you're not an alcoholic, then drinking moderately should work for you.

EmeraldRose

Dee has a point. Just because you drank and nothing happened doesn't mean something won't happen next time. Cunning, baffling, powerful.
It sounds like you were putting yourself thru a little test and you think you passed. If I quit for 5 months the last person that would have me start drinking is my boss. He couldn't pay me enough or promote me high enough to take the chance of heading back to where I was. What would he care -I'd be the one with the issues.
I didn't have huge withdrawal symptons either even though I drank 30 years. Oh, I felt bad but nothing scary and phone in hand with 911 on speed dial. 'Just because' quitting wasn't a challenge this time -it may be next time. Again, I'm not willing to take the chance.
I guess I'm just kinda wondering, after 5 months, why you wouldn't mention that you didn't drink or even lie and say you were on medication...I just hope this doesn't become a problem again for you.

Zebra1275

After several years of trying I've learned that I can't be a "normal" drinker. I might be able to pull it off for awhile but for me it's the start of a downward slide on a slippery slope towards choas.

opmloser

You wrote that you were in a place that you felt you couldn't pass up a few drinks without your boss's scrutiny....If you're ever in that predicament again, just stick to soda or water and if anyone asks why you're not drinking liquor, just tell 'em you have allergies and take something like Benadryl and you don't want to take in alcohol on top of it.
You never should be in a place where you have to justify NOT drinking. Why would your employer view abstinence as a minus??? If that really is the case, I might start looking for a new job if possible.

artsoul

The indicator for me is how much I thought about alcohol. Once I let it in the door, the obsession starts to take hold again. If I can have one, why not two? If I drink on New Years Eve, why not at a wedding? And it just goes on and on and on.

I've managed to moderate at different times, but it wasn't the same as someone who just has a drink and doesn't give it a second thought. In order to truly drink in a healthy way (if there really is one) I'd have to convince my mind that drinking or not drinking isn't any big deal. I really doubt whether anyone with a history of issues with drinking could do that.

Congrats on your 5 months by the way!!!! That's awesome!

candr

Thanks for all the replies. Can't really get into specifics about the job, but in all honestly, it would be a lot easier to tell people I'm a recovering alcoholic. I'm not ashamed at all. But that would cause lots of stress and problems. It's kind of funny, drinking never caused problems at work, but not drinking could. I know it sounds awkward, but that's just something you'll have to believe me on. I don't plan on going back to drinking, and honestly the other night wasn't all that fun. Been enjoying taking the kids places and not constantly thinking about getting home to have a beer. Never liked any alcohol except beer. I wouldn't drink wine or liquor at all, hate the taste, but always made sure I had my 4-12 beers a night. I'm still out of town and it's going to feel awkward to go back and tell my local AA group I drank and I guess my time starts all over. Guess i'm not the first. Well, thanks again for the responses.