How did this happen???
 

It's starts today. I will remember going to bed, I will love myself, I will stop the madness that is alcohol and now I have to get over my terrified mind about going to my first meeting tonight. I'm so scared and tears keep welling up here at work!

I hate that I'm in the situation I am and I regret behaving so badly around my son and husband they deserve better. I need to cry so badly right now but I can't.

I seriously need some encouragement here. I'm a mess.

You have come to the right place 1UD. I have been with SR a little bit over a month. I have not been perfect, but I have learned so much about what I need to do to recover from my alcohol dependency. It's very, very simple. Keep going. It gets better. Every hour it gets better.

You'll see. You will want to cry soon because the support here is so amazing. It's a whole different feeling and you can have it!

Hang in there, go for a walk to clear your head and get to that meeting tonight. You can do this, take it a minute at a time if need be.

Welcome to SR! Glad you found us. Many of us have been in similar situations as yours and have found a way out of that horrible place. I do hope you will find the support, encouragement, experience, and hope I have found in these forums that kept me hanging on through those dark hours.

Thanks guys, I figure I better stick around this site today so that I don't lose my mind. I have this sureal sort of demoralized feeling. It's not pretty.

1undone - Please be kind to yourself. There is a way out of the trap you're in. You have decided to reach for a better life for yourself and your family - be proud of that. Some never see what they're doing to themselves and others.

We're glad you're here - let us know how the meeting goes. You're doing great by wanting to make this change.

Welcome to the family.:) YOu'll find a lot of support here.:hug:

Welcome 1undone.
Please stick around. You CAN do this. M7 is right, literally every hour sober gets better. Keeping you in my thoughts tonight. Check in often, you'll ALWAYS find someone who knows how you feel now & better yet, how you WILL feel in time.

I was where you are now, feeling pretty helpless and wondering where to start, how was I going to piece it back together again, but am now a year and a half sober - I never thought I would get there but did so a day at a time.

It sounds like you have really hit a bottom emotionally. Get all the support that you can. Even though we can get to the point where we know what drinking does to us, this is an illness that is very difficult to fight through willpower alone, even with the best resolutions.

Hang around here, wish I would of before running off and going on a 3 day binge and putting my job and even my life in jeopardy.

Welcome!

Go to the meeting tonight and then go to another one this weekend. Hang around SR and read a lot. One thing you will learn, if you don't drink again you never need to feel this way again. That's some motivation right there!

Thanks for the kind words
 

No truer words have been spoken. I need to get some sober days behind me, some momentum and something to feel proud of. I am scared to death right now. I can admit it. :( But I guess I will be for a while.

I was looking at meetings around here and I'm not impressed with how few there are! What else do I do besides go to meetings? Should I see a therapist? Is the "Big Book" online? I can't believe with all the years of drinking I don't even know any of this.

Yes, the Big Book is online but I don't have a link to it. I've had a lot of success and help from my addiction counselor. She helped me 'see the light' and now she cheers me on in my sober journey.:)


Looked it up. Try this link.

Big Book Online Fourth Edition

Hello - go to the meeting and you'll likely feel better. Read the Promises of AA (pages 83-84 of the Big Book) and it should help you see what you can look forward to. There are also other recovery groups that could have meetings in your area - SMART recovery, Wome for Sobriety, Moderation Management are a few I've heard of. Search for Addiciton Recovery Groups online and you'll come up with some Wikipedia articles. Also I dont' knwo if you already did this, but search for an Intergroup for your area (I see you are in Florida - not sure where you are, but I found a Central Florida intergroup, northeast Florida intergroup and South Florida intergroup). You can also see if there is an Alano Club in your area (probably for the County or the city). They often host meetings and have programs. Finally, when you go to a meeting tonight, ask people there - they usually know the most and can make recommendations.

I also see a therapist every week or two weeks and did an intensive outpatient program, where I went 3 evenings a week for 3 hours each day to a group (lasted 5 weeks). Of course there are also inpatient rehabs, but it depends on your situation - personal, severity and financial. The therapy, AA meetings and antidepressants for anxiety are all helping me stay sober and are part of my plan for the long term.

You can do it. One, don't drink today. Don't worry about tomorrow for now. You can worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Two, keep coming back - to AA, here, therapy, whatever - no matter what happens. Keep coming back.

And welcome to the site. Let us know how the meeting goes.

Hi and Welcome,

We do understand how scary this and I know I felt it was unbelieveable that I woke up one day and alcohol controlled my life. But, it did. And, I couldn't imagine getting through a day without drinking. Know that you can do this and live a sober life.

There is lots of support here and lots of information, so whatever else you do to help yourself, I hope you keep reading and posting.

Guilt and sorrow are SO associated with Alcohol. I know... Don't let them get to as long as you are making an effort to eliminate them. And there's only one way to do that. Tell yourself you're sick of feeling sad, down, ashamed, etc. and make positive changes.

If you can allow yourself to be stubborn about that ONE thing in your life, for the rest of your life, you can pull this off. It took me a DUI to convince myself that I was worthy of more than disappointment, shame and anguish, along with hang-overs, foolish behavior etc. Tomorrow will be 9 months since I allowed alcohol in my mouth. It can be done.

Chin up and move forward, one single day at a time. And spoil yourself with all the love you want. We're all worth it!

Thanks to everyone today
 

I don't know what I would have done without this site today. I have to leave work now and my meeting is at 7:30. Of course I have a big lump in my throat, I'm sweating, nervous, getting that head pressure, etc. I will report back later. Fortunately I have a husband that is going to go to meetings too for his own support. I'm still in a state of disbelief that I am an alcoholic. I hate that word!

Hi 1undone

I think everyone of us knows how you feel...the good news is you're not alone....and we can, and do, get better :)

Welcome :)

D

I went to my first meeting not too long ago. I wasn't exactly thrilled but I will go again. I'm only on day 2, but it's round four inside of a month so I'm making progress, and I have just had a busy Friday. So I thought, despite not being a meeting person, that I would try to find a meeting to attend too. I think it's a good idea for us both so early on. Just to keep workin' it.