Day 23 rehab - Kelly
 

My counsellor just told me that our disease wants us dead, but that it will SETTLE for drunk or stoned, for NOW - as it bides its time.

Glad to have my SR friends to correspond with! ;-) :-)

Gotta get in touch with my Higher Power. :-(

AA meeting in 35 minutes. Can't wait for the coffee pick-me-up.

Tomorrow = 2 recovery meetings, plus board games in afternoon, then a ride home to the Toronto area with a new buddy from Homewood (he's in the alcohol program, as well).

I hope I can repair the damage done to my family.

Help me, Higher Power, PLEASE.

May God wave his hand and turn all alcohol into vinegar....darn, that's asking simply too much.

Back later, ODAAT,

Kelly:c011:

An HP or Higher Power can and would if He or It was sought.

I remember a story that was told about how a man or woman
would place his slippers under his or hers bed, so one would have
to get on their knees to reach for them. And since you are already
down there reaching for your slippers, simply ask each morning
to please help you stay sober that day, then at night to simply say
thank you for keeping you sober that day.

You will find how to pray in ur own way or feel that Spirit inside
your heart and soul when a calmness comes over you or strength
to do the next best thing.

That Strength will be something you can rely on every minute of
the day asking for guidance, peace of mind, and strength.

I couldnt expect miracles to happen over night with my family or
all the wreckage I made during my drinking. It took many years
to get me where I was when I entered rehab and thus would take
time to undo the wrongs I made. The people I lied to. Resentments to let go and so on.

Only time with working a program of recovery following the steps
as a guideline to help me live a btter life and become a better wife,
mother and friend.

My family was supportive of me and proud of my accomplishment
of staying sober a day at a time. But because they were not the sick ones nor had a problem with addiction nor no program they could have worked to understand addiction and how it affects the family, we were always on different plains. It was like we spoke different languages where I didnt understand their normal way of thinking or acting and they didnt understand the language of recovery or the alcoholic way of thing.

Changes in the family wont happen over night, so dont be discouraged.

Each day sober is an awesome gift for an alcoholic. So be kind to
urself and dont have huge expectations at first.

You have come a long way Kelly, so enjoy ur continued progress and journey living a sober life each day. :)

I know that this was very hard for me and what happened my Friend is that I was trying way to hard and doing what I always did before. Although I have made a lot of progress it only started to work when I quit trying to do what I thought I should do. Once I started to just let things flow is when things started changing for me.

You will find your way ... It takes time. :grouphug:

My hero!