newwings

..for the stupid things I did when drunk.

After drinking a bottle and a half of white wine last December, and having some terrible, terrible stresses at the time (I was solo nursing my paralyzed dog round the clock, as well as looking after my demanding family, and my Mum was 5,500 miles away back in the UK being treated for skin cancer without me there for support), I kicked some wooden patio furniture with bare feet and had to have them x-rayed at my local ER department.

Today, I got the bill for my treatment. They won't be covering the cost of the treatment that day because it occured whilst I was drinking and it was self inflicted.

$3,000+.

Now it's really time to start facing the consequences of my actions due to the bloody drinking. I know I will never drink again, and that facing up to, and dealing sober with your actions when drunk is part of the recovery process. I'm not running from it, I accept that I have to admit full responsibility, although I'm pretty humiliated at having to call them and discuss what I stupidly did, since I don't feel I AM that person any more. But the gnaw of shame, plus the huge financial burden that it's going to place on our already stretched and meagre budget is awful. I have to show that bill to my husband this evening and watch him chew over how we are going to pay it.

I feel so, so guilty.

Jabbadabutt

All the money you will be saving by not drinking will help defer that cost. Try to see the positive.

Missy7

Jabba is right. You have probably half covered it already. I'm so sorry about this NW. If it makes you feel any better, we still owe the DUI lawyer 1200 (Phil was driving). I saw his last bill yesterday. The total was about 5,000 despite the charges being dismissed. So, yeah, it's expensive to drink...too expensive.

Anna

It is really hard to deal with the messes we made while drinking, once we begin recovery.

On the positive side, I assume your foot is alright, and that's the main thing. Something worse could have happened.

And, hold your head up high when you talk to your husband, and be proud that you are taking responsibility for your mistake.

Dee74

Every mess we clean up is one step closer to that clean slate newwings

I'm glad you're foot is ok - and yeah, I bet you've already defrayed the cost to a considerable extent in recent weeks

D

newwings

I have to say, part of me wishes I hadn't quite told the truth at the ER..but that's all part of the shame and humiliation of where my drinking was taking me. In reality, it was probably the first time I had been honest with ANYONE in a very long time. The minute I opened my mouth and told the very kind nurse how I got my injuries, it was the start of this new journey..it opened the door to me realizing my drinking had to stop. Of course, me being the mess I was, it took a few more incidents before it really sank in, but I could probably define that night as the one that really began my reality check to bring me here. I'm glad I was honest with them. Continuing drinking would have cost me so much more than just money, and for that, I am so thankful.

(Neither foot was broken but they were so black and swollen, I couldn't walk without crutches for weeks afterwards. No breaks, but they still hurt with high heeled shoes even after 4 months, so that's the other part of my punishment - ugly shoes...ugh)

CatFry

Wow. To get a literal "bill" for the price of drinking is sobering. I'm glad you are okay.

crittery

Ouch that sounds painful, I'm glad it's getting better. I think Jabba said it best, it would end up costing a lot more if you kept drinking. Not just money either.

No use in worrying about the things we can't change!

EmeraldRose

Things happen for a reason. You were honest with the nurse for a reason. Things follow a path. I had the same thing happen to me -sort of...and now that I look back I may not have planned it the way it happened but it happened a way that was a plan. It worked, I am recovering, life is good...and still not drinking.
You are in a reasonable state of mind now...responsible and it needs to be fixed for your own guilts sake. These mistakes happen so we can learn from them...it will hurt for awhile but once gone you'll have learned and moved on.

mikefreak

If this incident is a lesson learned that you can use to never repeat it, it was worth every cent.(!) Think of it as an investment. Once I was drunk ( of Course), and twisted my ankle badly- my TOES were black & blue for over two weeks & I lost a lot of work.! Maybe your husband will surprise you & understand. Just Be as honest with him as you were with the nurse.

FreeDance

Ouch!! Sorry to hear it, nw. Well, you could think of it as an education. Some educations cost TONS more money and don't teach lessons as important as what you got.

I hope your poor feet are fully recovered soon!

grateful101010

I am so sorry. I am glad you are being so honest here, it's good for you and for all of us. You were stressed and mad and the wine just made a bad situation worse, it's a demon for us here on SR.

CatFry

Everyone is right about this. Being honest and taking responsibility are all part of getting over this.

I actually used to twist my ankle n a regular basis when drinking. And I have a scar on one foot, and another on a shin, and another near my left eye all from self injury accidents while drinking.

It is good you went to a MD. It is good you told the nurse the truth. It is even possbile they sent you a bill in hopes of a lesson.

I think there is a definite lesson here no matter what.

Have a sunshine day : )

BurningChrome

Money is nothing. We can _Always_ "make" more money. Time is something else entirely, we are all given a set amount and that's it. Drinking does not also rob you of money, but FAR more improtantly, it robs you of your _Limited_ time! Think about it!

..Mike

Fandy

I'm sorry that your feet still hurt (try that blue emu cream to rub on in the evening, it helps and has not funky smell).

is there some way you could help to defer the cost for the family budget? i am thinking a garage sale...or becoming a neighborhood dogwalker....(around here the kids get $10.. for a 1/2 hour walk).

Kjell

Hi Newwings-

There will be a long period of reconstruction

This phrase has been true so far in my 18 months of sobriety. There are many debts to pay, literally.

...but they will be paid and there is much life to live in the meantime.

Kjell~

loveon2legs

I have a lawyer.....very expensive....it hit me hard in the pocket book. I am so done with alcohol.....

ReadyAndAble

Sounds to me like you should frame that bill. It's a symbol of the best thing that ever happened to you.

I don't mean to be blithe about the money—that's a lot of dough—but it's a small price to pay for a longer, healthier, and most of all happier life.

CatFry

Newwings (and everyone) I hope you are doing well : )