Mattk

This will be my 3rd time trying to get sober in the last 4 years. The longest time I had been sober in the last 4 years was when I had entered the Marine Corps to go to boot camp; I even recall at about the 2 1/2 month mark thinking of all the terrible things I had done while drinking/to get a drink prior and thought hey I shouldn't do that anymore. I felt ashamed about it all and didn't let anyone know via letters, and what did I do right when I got back for boot leave? Yep you guessed it, got right down to drinking.

The next time I was attempting to get sober was more of just jumping through hoops since I didn't want to be on restriction after acquiring a DUI on base, and went through with that recovery program noting the whole time that each time I drink I normally make some pretty terrible decisions. Fast forward about 7 months and it is my 21st birthday then, end up doing cocaine while drinking. Get kicked out of the Marine corps after that.

I come back home for the 3rd time to attempt sobriety after some of my friends let me know how concerned they were with how much more out of hand it seemed my drinking had become as opposed to before I joined the Marine Corps (Which I thought was completely impossible) ended up abusing my anxiety medication to all hell and started drinking approximately 1 month later.

Now to how I've been doing things until just yesterday when I decided enough was enough. As I had started drinking again I would normally only drink 1-2 days in a week but I would consume a very copious amount of alcohol in those 2 days, feel like crap for the next few and do it all over again. After this last time where I was binging for 4 days (and to be honest probably would have continued yesterday if I wouldn't have woken up semi-sober, and return to that downward spiral of life of drinking every single day from sun up till sun down.) and waking up to a very horrible panic attack while completely dehydrated; that's when I decided enough was enough again.

This time around I think I know where I made those mistakes in the past, and can finally get through this. I mean I stumbled upon this site looking up if violently twitching while trying to go to sleep is a normal condition, as I hadn't had that one before. Along with night sweats, which I have had countless times. Kinda sucks this morning, woke up dehydrated like very dehydrated covered in sweat, and still feel like my skin is on fire kinda; even though I'm shivering....wow do I not understand that at all.

Hopefully you'll all see much more of me in the months to come (I'm kinda at odds since I have no job/vehicle, and am staying with my mother for this time being since I know if I really need to talk to someone she'll be there) Anyhow thanks for taking the time to read that.

snowdog

Welcome Mattk- detoxing sucks... the night sweats, the anxiety... Be sure to see your doctor if things get bad, alcohol withdrawal can be fatal.

Glad you are here and looking forward to seeing more of you!

SD

Missy7

Glad to see that you made it to SR. I hope you can stay strong through these first few days.

Mattk

Oh and a side note, decided I'd like to save money as well and haven't smoked a cigarette since when I last had a drink. Mainly since yesterday I knew that if I smoked while going through major anxiety it would get worse so I just paced around the house for a long time.

Time to go drink some water and go back to sleep I think, hopefully the twitching doesn't happen again

And thank you both for posting, I'll probably make a thread in another section in the coming days when I feel more up for it; or if I really need to discuss something with someone.

VolcomStone51

Hey man, sorry to hear about the physical troubles you're having with withdrawl.....it's definitely not fun as I have been right where you are. Anyway, its always great to hear from another person in the Milwaukee area. I hope that you get some much needed rest and get past the physical withdrawls and then just keep moving forward. Take care and good luck.

Kjell

Hi Matt-

Maybe it's time to let go of some old ideas? You've tried to quit before, but ended up even worse off as you've returned to even worse drinking.

I simply couldn't outthink my alcoholism. Maybe this is true with you too?

Why pass around the house alone where there is an AA meeting nearby and full of peope just like you?

We can and do recover and you can be living proof.

Kjell~

Bikeguy

Welcome to SR Mattk, I'm sorry you feeling poorly right now. Detox really stinks, be careful with it and don't hesitate to get some medical assistance. Hang around do some reading and posting it really helped me early on.

fragileflower

Hi Matt,

So glad you made it here. As a previous poster said, detoxing sucks....from alcohol and smoking...YIKES! I hope you feel better soon. Please see a doctor if your symptoms don't improve.

Get some rest, drink some WATER , and keep reading and posting!

fragileflower

Dee74

Welcome to SR MattK

D

nandm

Mattk

Starting to feel a bit better today, only thing that messed with me last night was well sweating, but not as bad, and a really really disturbing dream. Oh well, I remember those things happening the last 2 times.

Any idea on how I can find a place that meetings are held somewhat close to me? I don't have a vehicle (Don't mind walking) and would like to be able to give those a chance while I actually want to be there. Unlike the first time I was at one out in California.

Oh and I'm not sure if this is normal or not, but I'm having some major racing thoughts about things that I've done in the past that are embarassing, and it's making me quite down....is that normal at all?

And thanks for the support everyone, I'm actually astonished to see someone else from the Milwaukee area posting here.

Dee74

I'm not in AA but I found this googling 'AA meetings' and 'Milwaukee' - they have a meeting directory

Alcoholics Anonymous Milwaukee - Home

good luck
D