Drinking myself to death and can't stop !
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Hi Pro...I'm glad you are realizing that you've had enough. When the time is right you will end the drink. But realizing its a problem is a good start. Coming here is a good start, too!
I drank for 30 years...everything. I had many phases from Jack Daniels to wine to beer back to whiskey. Never hit the vodka much. But after struggling for so many years and every morning waking up wishing the nightmare was over...I lost my job and reality hit me smack dab right between the eyes. My life was becoming unmanageble and I needed to stop. I marched my butt to the next possible AA meeting and called the addiction rehab center and did 6 weeks of out patient.
That was 102 days ago that I quit and turned myself around. All I can say is Wow! Glad I did it. Life is awesome always sober. I don't have to worry about the running around buying booze, hiding booze, lying about booze, ruining my life over booze.
I see you made it a day...well, let's try again and make it 2 days...take it one day at a time. Wishing you peace and strength.
I drank for 30 years...everything. I had many phases from Jack Daniels to wine to beer back to whiskey. Never hit the vodka much. But after struggling for so many years and every morning waking up wishing the nightmare was over...I lost my job and reality hit me smack dab right between the eyes. My life was becoming unmanageble and I needed to stop. I marched my butt to the next possible AA meeting and called the addiction rehab center and did 6 weeks of out patient.
That was 102 days ago that I quit and turned myself around. All I can say is Wow! Glad I did it. Life is awesome always sober. I don't have to worry about the running around buying booze, hiding booze, lying about booze, ruining my life over booze.
I see you made it a day...well, let's try again and make it 2 days...take it one day at a time. Wishing you peace and strength.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1
Finally facing facts....
Let me start by explaining - I'm in my mid-40's. I am happily married, with 3 wonderful children. My parents are healthy, non-alcoholics. I have a great job, and really - I have no reason to drink.
That being said...
For probably the last 8 years (who knows for sure) I have been drinking for no apparent reason. I don't black-out. I don't pass-out. But, I drink almost every day. Beer, mostly - probably 90% of the time. The truth is, I've sorta forgotten how to fall asleep without a buzz. Normally, I put the kids to bed... and the wife (she goes to bed early), and then I drink 8-10 beers.... night-in, night-out. I generally work while I drink. Sometimes I think I justify working so that I CAN justify drinking. I'm not really sure.
Here's what I know. My health and productivity are beginning to suffer. I have a great professional reputation, as well as a great personal reputation. I've always been a "go to guy" in every sense of the term.
Lately (the last year or so) I feel less than myself. Very lately, I feel like a shadow of myself. Even if I sleep 8 hours (rare) I am tired, and unproductive. Almost every day I think to myself "tonight, I'll just go to be early", and almost every time, I wind up drinking - alone - until 12:30 or 1:00 in the morning. I get some things accomplished, but not nearly enough to justify my being up that late, or my drinking that much.
I love Gatorade - but I would never drink 7 bottles in a row. I know this is wrong, and unnatural... but I literally (for the first time in my life) cannot imagine how to even begin to stop. I seriously doubt if I could even fall asleep without 5-6 beers, minimum. It's depressing, and it's defeating. I hate it, but I'm beholden to it.
I'm way past doubting myself - I have gone straight into disbelieving in myself. And that's a terrible place to be.
That being said...
For probably the last 8 years (who knows for sure) I have been drinking for no apparent reason. I don't black-out. I don't pass-out. But, I drink almost every day. Beer, mostly - probably 90% of the time. The truth is, I've sorta forgotten how to fall asleep without a buzz. Normally, I put the kids to bed... and the wife (she goes to bed early), and then I drink 8-10 beers.... night-in, night-out. I generally work while I drink. Sometimes I think I justify working so that I CAN justify drinking. I'm not really sure.
Here's what I know. My health and productivity are beginning to suffer. I have a great professional reputation, as well as a great personal reputation. I've always been a "go to guy" in every sense of the term.
Lately (the last year or so) I feel less than myself. Very lately, I feel like a shadow of myself. Even if I sleep 8 hours (rare) I am tired, and unproductive. Almost every day I think to myself "tonight, I'll just go to be early", and almost every time, I wind up drinking - alone - until 12:30 or 1:00 in the morning. I get some things accomplished, but not nearly enough to justify my being up that late, or my drinking that much.
I love Gatorade - but I would never drink 7 bottles in a row. I know this is wrong, and unnatural... but I literally (for the first time in my life) cannot imagine how to even begin to stop. I seriously doubt if I could even fall asleep without 5-6 beers, minimum. It's depressing, and it's defeating. I hate it, but I'm beholden to it.
I'm way past doubting myself - I have gone straight into disbelieving in myself. And that's a terrible place to be.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,900
Welcome to SR bbcater
I too thought that I could not function without drinking. Then I came to notice I'm not function very well with drinking. I needed to change for the better. It took some support like being here at SR, a lot of wilfulness and determination to make it work.
I too thought that I could not function without drinking. Then I came to notice I'm not function very well with drinking. I needed to change for the better. It took some support like being here at SR, a lot of wilfulness and determination to make it work.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
Hi BB,
You describe what my situation was for a few years prior to me quitting. I drank because I liked to get drunk and I would hide in my office after everyone went to bed and drink. I drank to pay the bills, or to write reports, but basically I just drank. Then I realized 10 beeers at night wasn't enough and I started drinking those in the afternoon, then I finished the night with some Vodka.
It progressed because I wanted to get drunker. I have a great job and a great family, but I have loved drinking for 27 years and I figured I owed it to myself.
Long story short, drinking was killing me and ruining my life. It affected my job and my marriage and it was expensive. I finally decided to quit a little over a year ago, and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself....ever. It was hard as hell in the beginning, but looking back I wish I quit 10 years earlier.
I used the forum as my support network, and developed my own program of recovery which incorporated alot of fitness and diet and mental exercises. I am proud to say that I never want to drink again and I am much happier and a much better person for it.
You describe what my situation was for a few years prior to me quitting. I drank because I liked to get drunk and I would hide in my office after everyone went to bed and drink. I drank to pay the bills, or to write reports, but basically I just drank. Then I realized 10 beeers at night wasn't enough and I started drinking those in the afternoon, then I finished the night with some Vodka.
It progressed because I wanted to get drunker. I have a great job and a great family, but I have loved drinking for 27 years and I figured I owed it to myself.
Long story short, drinking was killing me and ruining my life. It affected my job and my marriage and it was expensive. I finally decided to quit a little over a year ago, and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself....ever. It was hard as hell in the beginning, but looking back I wish I quit 10 years earlier.
I used the forum as my support network, and developed my own program of recovery which incorporated alot of fitness and diet and mental exercises. I am proud to say that I never want to drink again and I am much happier and a much better person for it.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
