onathread

As an "in the dark" the wife of an alcoholic, I would advise you to be honest with her. I have been married for 20 years and my husband has had a problem for the last five years.

Things have gotten better since I found out the extent of his problems. Before, I was actually contributing to frequent relapses, because I did not understand alcoholism. I think few people do... while I thought he had a drinking problem (ie he would be having too much), I did not understand the power that alcohol had over him. I was condoning/encouraging him to drink in moderation. I did not understand that this was not possible for him.

I enjoyed an occasional glass of wine, but have gladly given that up for his sake. Since I'm not an alcoholic, it really doesn't bother me much. Having an open, honest relationship with him is far more important.

Dee74

Only you know your relationship ALAJ.

For me, I wasn't in a relationship when I got sober, but I am now...and I know if there's one thing my partner hates...it's being kept in the dark about something...even if I used to think it was 'for her own good'.

We're equals.
She deserves to know what I do....especially on important things like this.

D

californiapoppy

I've never told anyone except SR. When people offer me a drink I just say no. I've also said that I feel much better now that I don't drink. My close friends know I have high blood pressure and probably accept that as the reason I don't drink anymore, I never had to explain anything to anyone and I really don't have any intention of doing so. Most people now consider me as a non-drinker and don't even offer me alcohol. I relaspe recurringly, but never in front of anyone, and less and less, I'm hoping to lick my problem this time, I'm a non-drinker and I like life better like that. All this said, I think it's probably better to tell your wife, as I think it would probably be better for me to tell my family, but I can't.