CatFry

I am so glad all of your children are learning who you are sober, and that you all are learning who they are while you are sober.

Muunray: i love your diet coke!

Aiden

I found that I couldn't stay sober for anyone no matter how much I loved them. This was destroying me for years as I knew I was losing the respect of those close to me. I couldn't understand why I was unable to control the amount that I drank or that I couldn't abstain when I wanted too. I suspected that I was an alcoholic but in all honesty I didn't really know what that was. I struggled against the problem for years until I almost killed myself on an alcohol and drug binge. The scare had me attend an AA meeting where I learned what an alcoholic was and that I was one. They asked me only two questions the first was "Could I control the amount of Alcohol I consumed once I started to drink?" I had to say no to that one. I was informed that the alcoholic has a physical allergy to alcohol that produces something called the "phenomenon of craving" which is stronger than will power and only occurs in real Alcoholics. The second question was "Can you stop drinking on your own resources (No drugs, no meetings, no doctors no medication, no therapy etc.) for 1 year?" I replied no to that too. The second question was related to something called the "mental obsession" which in alcoholics are the blank spots in our thinking which deny us access to past experience which would prevent us picking up a drink. This "curious mental phenomenon" is the ability in the mind of an alcoholic to hold two simultaneous and opposing ideas in the mind at the same time without there being conflict and the bad idea is always pursued. This I understood because I often made a firm decision to not to drink and agreed simultaneously to have a few glasses! or I would say I will go into town and have three beers but would take $500 without there appearing to be a discrepancy. Answering no to either of these questions would I was told confirm me as an Alcoholic and not as I had hoped a hard drinker with a few life problems. I understood I was in trouble because I knew I couldn't control how much I drank when I drank and that I couldn't stay stopped if I tried. When I understood my dilemma I knew I needed help. I found that AA was good if I worked the 12 steps. I did and have not had to take a drink for some years now and life is good.

Good luck to you

Aiden

CatFry

Aiden that was a really inspiring story. Thank you for sharing it.