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where is all the support now that im a mess???

Old 05-06-2011, 05:35 AM
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where is all the support now that im a mess???

Hello friends

Im a mess tonight...

what a liar...

what a fake

drinking again.

****
bugger

I have been so grateful and so happy with sobriety .

one catalyst..
my partner is leaving because i DONT DRINK


it does not make sense

I would really appreciate some support....im a fake....already know Im an alcoholic...what happened to the last three months???

Every time i try to get better , someone or something , takes me down

now...that was the greatest cop out i have ever written

It is ME..

I dont like it any more..

bugger it


****

La femme

can you email me...

reggiewayne....

you too

or reset

or anna..

private would be good.

Im really bloody struggling

forget my a fish called wanda funny signature..

im in alot of pain

L
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Old 05-06-2011, 05:41 AM
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hi - I am in Sydney too and have seen you around the site and you have been very encouraging, I wish I could convince you to stop right now. But I know that is your choice, you have been so inspiring to me and I trust you will get back on track. If you want to talk or pm let me know. You are a great guy and many on SR are here wanting the best for you.
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Old 05-06-2011, 05:43 AM
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Lipitor, I am here... and so sorry you are going through this pain.

I do know what getting sober does alter relationships -- it maybe because things are so different.

Can I presume that your partner drinks?

Right now, the best thing to do is to stop drinking, as tough as that may sound. But, it isn't going to help anything.

It is easy for us addicts to feel bad because we took a drink, but what is important is that we learn from taking that drink. And, that we quickly turn it around, so it doesn't get out of control and on a runaway. You can turn this around and work on finding other ways to deal with situations -- it takes time to collect all the tools necessary for recovery. But you can be living proof, just like so many on this site.
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Old 05-06-2011, 05:45 AM
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You are not a fake my man...you are just doing what we do. You are very real. As for the support right now, that's a tough one because it's difficult for fellow addicts to want to help when they know that they are not talking to YOU...I would get some rest, forgive yourself and come chat again when you have cleared up.
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Old 05-06-2011, 05:46 AM
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I'm sorry about your struggles Lipitor and I'm sure you feel like sh!t about it, but it does say something that your right back here. Learn from your mistake and start again, you can do this. One day, one minute at a time.
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Old 05-06-2011, 05:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Bikeguy View Post
I'm sorry about your struggles Lipitor and I'm sure you feel like sh!t about it, but it does say something that your right back here. Learn from your mistake and start again, you can do this. One day, one minute at a time.
thanks my friend...atorvastatin.....im so tired and sick of relationships failing for some reason or another..but what threw me off was......She left because I DID NOT DRINK ANYMORE

i just dont get it

L
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Old 05-06-2011, 06:14 AM
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I just am seeing this now and I'm about to go underground so this will be short.

I care about you and want you to pour whatever you are drinking down the drain. If I'm not mistaken its night there so get rid of the booze...drink a couple of glasses of water...get some sleep and start again in the morning.

It will be okay...but only if you stop drinking.

Be back later.

Tina
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Old 05-06-2011, 06:22 AM
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I PM'd you.
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Old 05-06-2011, 06:25 AM
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Drinking is not failure, it is an unavoidable result of not treating our disease.

You are sick. Are you willing to really concede that?

Willpower is not the answer, it's the problem.

There's a solution.
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Old 05-06-2011, 06:34 AM
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Hi
I have just joined this site, your post cried out to me. I am so sorry your partner is leaving, she may not like you sober but do you like yourself drinking? Don't change to please someone no matter who... to thine own self be true. I believe in God I don't know if you do or not but try asking God or a higher power for help.

Hang on in there, it is no shame to fail, but if you want to succeed it is a shame to stop trying.

God Bless
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Old 05-06-2011, 07:15 AM
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Lips, if she left because you did not drink anymore, she is NOT considering your welfare or health, both mental and physical....that is just selfish and unsupportive.

sometimes, you have to consider why that kind of a relationship is so appealing to you.

be kind to yourself, get some sleep.....come back later.

i'm not here most of the day (it's my mother's wake today), but i'll be back at some point. feel free to PM to me if you like, i'll get back to you...right now it's 10:15AM in my time zone.
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Old 05-06-2011, 07:22 AM
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If she left because your NOT drinking then I think it's time to have a sit down with her and have a serious talk about your relationship. You need to take care of yourself first remember that!
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Old 05-06-2011, 08:55 AM
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Lipitor, I am so sorry to read your post. I can feel the pain in your words, and it hurts me, too. You have been such an inspirational person to me in the 17 days I've been on this site, you are a tower of strength and wisdom.
I agree with the others..you must NOT change yourself to please others. That would be fake. FAKE is not what you are - your brutal honesty to yourself on this site shows that. You are a true gentleman. I do so hope you manage to get back up there and on here. As you can see, many people care about you on here. Thinking of you and sending strength.
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Old 05-06-2011, 09:20 AM
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Lipitor, I really think there are cost an casualties of sobriety. I really believe that is a total transformation in lifestyle and belief systems. Our old belief systems are often what leads us to drink in the first place. Interactions with people and life create great struggle within because of these old values. One of the last thing I figured out was that my beliefs and values were holding me down and that some of them had to change. I think sobriety is a total rewiring of thought patterns.

You have to be willing to accept the fact that many of your friends and loved ones won't like being around the new you. And you won't like being around them either. Stay focused on creating the new you because there will be many detractors. I found that many of my old relationships died because seeing change in me while they were doing the same old thing caused them to feel bad about themselves. Be prepared to lose some things and some people for sobriety. Sobriety reveals the genuine truth. Embrace losses as progress because it says you are changing.

If you surround yourself with the same people, places and things, that you did as a drinker, life will probably be full of situations conducive to drinking.

Most importantly, don't be too ashamed to come back here soon. Push yourself through any shame and embarrassment if you feel that way and get right back in here. You will feel great again for it and others can learn from your experience.
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Old 05-06-2011, 09:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Lipitor View Post
thanks my friend...atorvastatin.....im so tired and sick of relationships failing for some reason or another..but what threw me off was......She left because I DID NOT DRINK ANYMORE

i just dont get it

L
It seems we change more than we think when we are sober. I ran into some friends last weekend for the first time since I have been sober. I saw these same people yesterday and they commented that I didn't seem like myself last weekend, more subdued. They aren't aware of my sobriety, and probably weren't aware of me being half in the bag during most of our previous interactions. I blew it off, but thought to myself about their perceptions. I suspect we will remain friends, but if they decide they don't like the sober me, then I suppose they will stop hanging out with me. Which is just the way it has to be, because my sobriety isn't gonna change.

Sorry for your slip Lip, but it happens. Just get back on the wagon and in 3 more months you can look back and think "I have only been drunk once in the last 6 months", that ain't so bad. A lot better mentally and physically than "I have been hammered for the last 6 months." Unfortunately we aren't perfect, we do the best we can.
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Old 05-06-2011, 09:55 AM
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Lipitor,

I am so sorry for your pain.

Having your partner leave because you are sober really sucks. But, honestly, it is what it is. The relationship may be over, but you know how good recovery feels and I hope you don't give that up. It's far too important.
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Old 05-06-2011, 10:07 AM
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For what its worth and just in my own experience...when my husband and I split up it was for many reasons. My drinking didn't make the relationship good, but there were also underlying issues within the marraige...I seriously think that if I sobered up and stayed in the marraige he wouldn't care for the new me. I would be more assertive, less guilty, less indifferent and maybe he wouldn't want to hear what I really had to say. The booze kept me supressed. It kept me from feeling all the things I should have been feeling within a relationship. Now that I'm sober I know I would have been very different and not let things roll off my back. He would not have liked that!
I'm sorry you are suffereing with this right now, but you need to think ahead, think of your options, think of what will happen if you continue drinking and she comes back. Where does that put you? What will your life be like then?
You are way too smart to let another soul interpret, interigate and manipulate your thinking and your life.
Maybe this is what you need -space. Quitting the drinking, getting your head on straight and taking life by the horns.
I know that I won't get back with mine only because I have learned too much about myself, grown wisdom, grown faith and a love for myself that I will not let anyone undermine.
Quit the drink and stay strong, my friend. Thinking of you today....
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Old 05-06-2011, 10:10 AM
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With a relapse, it is healthy to have a good deal of honest remorse and really feel the impact of those emotions. What is not helpful is beat yourself down with by berating your actions with negative self-labels. So don't go there again .

A relapse can happen during the treatment of substance abuse. In fact a relapse can point out where changes need to be made in your treatment plan. Please put your energy into beefing up you treatments.

Please get back to living a alcohol free life and hope to see you posting soon
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Old 05-06-2011, 10:30 AM
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Lipitor - the thing is, drinking is just a temporary fix. I know you're trying to kill the hurt & take the edge off. You feel better just for awhile, but then there's hell to pay if you go on a full blown binge. Please try to stop - for every swallow of that stuff you're making it harder on yoursef. (I know you are aware of that - just saying.)

It sounds as if your partner is shallow, & more concerned with herself & maintaining her lifestyle. Surely she's seen how you've struggled with alcoholism, & should be happy for you that you're trying to get well. Do you really need a person like that in your life? As Fandy says, she's definitely not looking out for your well being.
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Old 05-06-2011, 05:11 PM
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Originally Posted by ItWillBeWorthIt View Post
Lipitor, I am here... and so sorry you are going through this pain.

I do know what getting sober does alter relationships -- it maybe because things are so different.

Can I presume that your partner drinks?

Right now, the best thing to do is to stop drinking, as tough as that may sound. But, it isn't going to help anything.

It is easy for us addicts to feel bad because we took a drink, but what is important is that we learn from taking that drink. And, that we quickly turn it around, so it doesn't get out of control and on a runaway. You can turn this around and work on finding other ways to deal with situations -- it takes time to collect all the tools necessary for recovery. But you can be living proof, just like so many on this site.
SHe only has one or two... I have been for a 15 km pushbike ride this morn.
A great cure for feeling sick post drinking.

I know that I am much more settled in the last few months. I am quieter, and (as mentioned by a few friends) much calmer.

I think my partner is confused , I was always a happy drunk, laughing and playing the piano, telling jokes all that type of stuff.

I dont want to chemically induce that behaviour anymore. I know it is there naturally .

Thanks for your post

L
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