where is all the support now that im a mess???
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
Hey, Lipitor,
Most of us have been where you are, so we really DO understand.
And, I also get sad when people leave abruptly or fade away. Sometimes, we need SR and its support the most when you least want to ask for it. Good for you for having the courage to return and carry on.
Most of us have been where you are, so we really DO understand.
And, I also get sad when people leave abruptly or fade away. Sometimes, we need SR and its support the most when you least want to ask for it. Good for you for having the courage to return and carry on.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Arizona
Posts: 76
Hi Lipitor,
I don't know you real well, but feel we are all in this thing together. I just read this string of threads and am so sorry for what you are going through. It could be any one of us, after all we are only human and we make mistakes. Maybe your partner should join SR and see things from another perspective and then maybe she will welcome your sobriety rather than resent it? IDK
Welcome back!! Dust off, and keep on trucking!
I don't know you real well, but feel we are all in this thing together. I just read this string of threads and am so sorry for what you are going through. It could be any one of us, after all we are only human and we make mistakes. Maybe your partner should join SR and see things from another perspective and then maybe she will welcome your sobriety rather than resent it? IDK
Welcome back!! Dust off, and keep on trucking!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Lipitor, I'm here man. Just catching up on the posts. From what I'm gathering, it sounds like this is her issue, not your's. If she has a problem with you not drinking, then that says a lot about where she is in her life.
Feel free to PM me, I tried to send you one but it said you weren't accepting any. I'm here for you man - we all are.
Please don't go down the path of "I'll show you, I'll hurt me". You made a decision to quit drinking and get into recovery for a reason - probably many reasons. Don't forget that.
Hang in there man, and get back in the game. So you had a few drinks, got drunk, whatever, it's never too late to start again. Drinking provides us nothing, if she is going to leave you for not drinking, then my guess is she'll find another way down the road.
This can be a great thing for you to commit to recovery. Remember if you are sober and she is drinking, she is the sick one - not you. When we're sober, the future is "open-ended". Many good things await us, maybe a better relationship down the road, maybe a better job, or an overall better feeling about yourself. When we go back to drinking, the future is "pre-determined". Guilt, shame, hopelessness, blackouts, DUI's, lost jobs, etc... Those are the things that await all of us if we go back.
It's simply not worth it man. You deserve more, we all do!!!!!
Let me know how I can help further!
Feel free to PM me, I tried to send you one but it said you weren't accepting any. I'm here for you man - we all are.
Please don't go down the path of "I'll show you, I'll hurt me". You made a decision to quit drinking and get into recovery for a reason - probably many reasons. Don't forget that.
Hang in there man, and get back in the game. So you had a few drinks, got drunk, whatever, it's never too late to start again. Drinking provides us nothing, if she is going to leave you for not drinking, then my guess is she'll find another way down the road.
This can be a great thing for you to commit to recovery. Remember if you are sober and she is drinking, she is the sick one - not you. When we're sober, the future is "open-ended". Many good things await us, maybe a better relationship down the road, maybe a better job, or an overall better feeling about yourself. When we go back to drinking, the future is "pre-determined". Guilt, shame, hopelessness, blackouts, DUI's, lost jobs, etc... Those are the things that await all of us if we go back.
It's simply not worth it man. You deserve more, we all do!!!!!
Let me know how I can help further!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Good to see your updates Lip! I don't get on as often these days as I used to so I try and keep up and am glad you are here and sober. Like many, I can relate and what I can say is don't give up 
Great thing about SR is that we can be ourselves and people understand.
Keep moving forward.
Great thing about SR is that we can be ourselves and people understand. Keep moving forward.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by reggiewayne 
Lipitor, I'm here man. Just catching up on the posts. From what I'm gathering, it sounds like this is her issue, not your's. If she has a problem with you not drinking, then that says a lot about where she is in her life.
Feel free to PM me, I tried to send you one but it said you weren't accepting any. I'm here for you man - we all are.
Please don't go down the path of "I'll show you, I'll hurt me". You made a decision to quit drinking and get into recovery for a reason - probably many reasons. Don't forget that.
Hang in there man, and get back in the game. So you had a few drinks, got drunk, whatever, it's never too late to start again. Drinking provides us nothing, if she is going to leave you for not drinking, then my guess is she'll find another way down the road.
This can be a great thing for you to commit to recovery. Remember if you are sober and she is drinking, she is the sick one - not you. When we're sober, the future is "open-ended". Many good things await us, maybe a better relationship down the road, maybe a better job, or an overall better feeling about yourself. When we go back to drinking, the future is "pre-determined". Guilt, shame, hopelessness, blackouts, DUI's, lost jobs, etc... Those are the things that await all of us if we go back.
It's simply not worth it man. You deserve more, we all do!!!!!
Let me know how I can help further!
Feel free to PM me, I tried to send you one but it said you weren't accepting any. I'm here for you man - we all are.
Please don't go down the path of "I'll show you, I'll hurt me". You made a decision to quit drinking and get into recovery for a reason - probably many reasons. Don't forget that.
Hang in there man, and get back in the game. So you had a few drinks, got drunk, whatever, it's never too late to start again. Drinking provides us nothing, if she is going to leave you for not drinking, then my guess is she'll find another way down the road.
This can be a great thing for you to commit to recovery. Remember if you are sober and she is drinking, she is the sick one - not you. When we're sober, the future is "open-ended". Many good things await us, maybe a better relationship down the road, maybe a better job, or an overall better feeling about yourself. When we go back to drinking, the future is "pre-determined". Guilt, shame, hopelessness, blackouts, DUI's, lost jobs, etc... Those are the things that await all of us if we go back.
It's simply not worth it man. You deserve more, we all do!!!!!
Let me know how I can help further!
There is definitely something wrong in a sense. Not so much with me. At least im bloody honest about my mess and life .
And the fact I feel like im starting to grow a pair of wings.
I have been different since not drinking , I know I have. It is so nice to experience calm mornings, even thinking albiet at this early stage.
But , I did lose it a little when I was told that.
Im not about to trade my life or my success with sobriety for anything.
After 9 weeks or so, I can still feel a little of the other nights drinking today.
Just a little more anxious than usual...bloody bugger , what an evil drug.
I appreciate your post .
Thanks again
L
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 94
A messy break-up is what actually prompted me to start really abusing drugs. Gah! So stupid and immature really, as I'm only hurting myself, friends and family in the long run. She was definitely not worth it. I just hate being used, or being the nice rebound guy.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by crittery
A messy break-up is what actually prompted me to start really abusing drugs. Gah! So stupid and immature really, as I'm only hurting myself, friends and family in the long run. She was definitely not worth it. I just hate being used, or being the nice rebound guy.
Secondly ...That picture of the two legged cat really freaks me out...LOL
she changed her tune , and said that she prefers a slightly boring bloke (not sure what that means) to an alcoholic drunk bloke..
Kind of nice really
L
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 377
I think its great you snapped right back. A lot of people would just say 'Welp, I screwed up, may as well just drink for a few more days." And then of course those days becomes weeks, then months etc. So thats fantastic you were able to realize your mistake, and not use it as an excuse to get drunk for a few more days.
For some becoming sober takes practice. And while I stand behind what I just said, I also believe people butter up the word practice. Being the alcoholic I am, I believe some people use the word practice as an excuse to get drunk if they feel inclined. While of course if your gonna drink, your gonna drink. Its just some people use relapses to their advantage. And in all reality, they dont really want to get sober. I also truly believe this wasn't the case for you at all. So again, I commend you on your honestly and strength, and most of all your quick bounce back!
-Ryan
For some becoming sober takes practice. And while I stand behind what I just said, I also believe people butter up the word practice. Being the alcoholic I am, I believe some people use the word practice as an excuse to get drunk if they feel inclined. While of course if your gonna drink, your gonna drink. Its just some people use relapses to their advantage. And in all reality, they dont really want to get sober. I also truly believe this wasn't the case for you at all. So again, I commend you on your honestly and strength, and most of all your quick bounce back!
-Ryan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by RyanRed
I think its great you snapped right back. A lot of people would just say 'Welp, I screwed up, may as well just drink for a few more days." And then of course those days becomes weeks, then months etc. So thats fantastic you were able to realize your mistake, and not use it as an excuse to get drunk for a few more days.
For some becoming sober takes practice. And while I stand behind what I just said, I also believe people butter up the word practice. Being the alcoholic I am, I believe some people use the word practice as an excuse to get drunk if they feel inclined. While of course if your gonna drink, your gonna drink. Its just some people use relapses to their advantage. And in all reality, they dont really want to get sober. I also truly believe this wasn't the case for you at all. So again, I commend you on your honestly and strength, and most of all your quick bounce back!
-Ryan
For some becoming sober takes practice. And while I stand behind what I just said, I also believe people butter up the word practice. Being the alcoholic I am, I believe some people use the word practice as an excuse to get drunk if they feel inclined. While of course if your gonna drink, your gonna drink. Its just some people use relapses to their advantage. And in all reality, they dont really want to get sober. I also truly believe this wasn't the case for you at all. So again, I commend you on your honestly and strength, and most of all your quick bounce back!
-Ryan
Ryan....I just dont want it anymore. I would trade every day from 1991 till now for one chance...(oMG i sound like braveheart) just one chance to ....come back to where I was and take MY control.....
If make take our lives....but it will never take our FREEDOM>>>>>lol
just kidding mate.
Bouncing back is easy once I dont drink...im bouncing back really quickly
thanks for you kind thoughts and your posts
Not big hugs ...more like a kick in the groin....LOL
LIP
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 94
Originally Posted by Lipitor
Firstly ...Thank you .
Secondly ...That picture of the two legged cat really freaks me out...LOL
she changed her tune , and said that she prefers a slightly boring bloke (not sure what that means) to an alcoholic drunk bloke..
Kind of nice really
L
Secondly ...That picture of the two legged cat really freaks me out...LOL
she changed her tune , and said that she prefers a slightly boring bloke (not sure what that means) to an alcoholic drunk bloke..
Kind of nice really
L
It sounds like your lady has come back to her senses! I feel really happy for you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
I'm so sorry Lipitor. I know you've had a lot of good advice, which is important because I face something similar. I think it just tells us how important alcohol is in our culture. It's freakin' everywhere and our partners assume we can participate.
I like your statement that you were a happy drunk and that's what she was used to. I see that--here's a weird version of that. When I'm not drinking, and therefore my husband isn't drinking, I don't like HIM as much. He seems depressed when I/he is not drinking....I miss funny Phil when I/he is sober. It's like that country song, "You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinking."
But this thread, even a few days old, was very important for me today. And if she doesn't straighten it out, I suspect you'll be fine.
I like your statement that you were a happy drunk and that's what she was used to. I see that--here's a weird version of that. When I'm not drinking, and therefore my husband isn't drinking, I don't like HIM as much. He seems depressed when I/he is not drinking....I miss funny Phil when I/he is sober. It's like that country song, "You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinking."
But this thread, even a few days old, was very important for me today. And if she doesn't straighten it out, I suspect you'll be fine.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: toronto canada
Posts: 181
hi lipitor.
if it's any consolation..i too lost my love...
but because i drank/she wants me sober..but she puts me under soooo much pressure.
withholding her love ,that i begin to resent her and drink//ill show you syndrome.
relationships are so difficult ,added to that an addiction/well you know the story?
but im with you man....lets try do this together...
probably better to get well for ourselves than some one else...in fact im certain of it.
cheers mate
if it's any consolation..i too lost my love...
but because i drank/she wants me sober..but she puts me under soooo much pressure.
withholding her love ,that i begin to resent her and drink//ill show you syndrome.
relationships are so difficult ,added to that an addiction/well you know the story?
but im with you man....lets try do this together...
probably better to get well for ourselves than some one else...in fact im certain of it.
cheers mate
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