partner leaving because I DONT DRINK
 

Hello my friends on SR.

My partner has left me tonight ...because I DONT DRINK

She said ."Im a little serious", "Im quite interested in being right and proper"

"Im , a faker. The lack of alcohol is fake, you just need to chill and live in the real world"

At the moment , I would love to drive to the bottle shop .

It is my coping mechanism

It has been for 28 years

Why would a girl leave me , when I cooked dinner, placed candles, made sure she was fine, put her favourite music on , (mozart mass in c minor), listened to her stuff about how hard work was for her, made her a coffee,
all the stuff nice decent sober men do.

Why the **** would she terminate our relationship because I am NOT drinking.

?????



This is the most perplexing thing I have had to deal with .


What???
I have to start again ???


****

bugger
bugger
bugger

I want to buy booze.

IM not going to .

Im going to have a hot shower, try to realise that this is not my stuff , and .
Sleep


Thanks to all my friends on SR who have helped me . This is awful

****.

I need to look after myself

I will do that

Strength is something I dont have.

I just dont want to drink anymore.

Kind regards

thanks all of you for reading

L

Hard to see now but you'll find someone better. Sound like you are well rid of her. Congrats on your sober time.

It's a big change in the relationship, if one quits drinking. Maybe it's not the change SHE wanted... It's not unusual at all for relationships to sour, unfortunately, after recovery.

Dont be hard...Im trying to work this out...the better I get , the worse she gets

L

Just sent you a private message..

Mate I am so struggling not to drink

L

I would like to say im suprised but Im really not. This is common, not just with alcoholism but with other disorders as well. She has her own issues. i dont know what happened to "for better or for worse"

what is the bloody point really ...?

my daughter wont talk to me , my partner has ended our relationship because I DONT DRINK ..

what is the point...??????????



****...**** ****

Lipitor - that's an unfair challenge for you to have when you're trying to get well, but you need to handle it without falling back on your old anesthesia. As we've learned, getting numb only masks our feelings - they'd still be there to torment you another day when you sober up.

Good job on not caving. You'll feel better evey day until this mess is just a distant memory. We're on your side, hoping for the best for you.

This is very sad and I really feel for you.

I can kind of relate because my ex boyfriend once told me he didnt think he could be with someone who never drank - it would be boring he said. I was semi half heartedly trying to deal with my problem at the time. My reaction to his comment set me back alot.

We have now split although we still see alot of each other. He wont commit to getting back together until I change. Ironic eh. Somehow once I have a few months sobriety and am back in some sort of shape and I HAVE changed - then perhaps I may not want his committment anymore.....

Hope you get through this, best of luck.

PS xx

My ex once screamed at me, "I'M NOT GOING TO BE MARRIED TO A WOMAN WHO DOESN'T DRINK!" Go figure. Wish you lived closer! I'd date you. :-)

You know what the point is...

i just want the security of a relationship to help me through this..

Im not an island

Im a human being and a bloody doctor...**** why is this so hard..

???

i just want to drink tonight..

im not going to

Im going to look after myself and go to bloody bed...much stuff unresolved.

bugger it.

im so tired.

I appreciate everything and every text, email and forum message I get from my friends on SR.

I cant do this without you

L

There is a very, very good chance that she is/was codependent on your alcoholism and your not drinking is ruining things for her. If that's the case, it's best she leave.

My ex wants to get back together again, for the 100th time. I KNOW I have to drink to be in that relationship.... so, I guess I'm staying single.

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you because you DON'T drink?

If you ask me, you should be thankful that this happened today instead of weeks, months, or years down the road.

Of course this hurts, and it's going to hurt for awhile. Feel the pain, go through the grieving process.

In the end, though, this is one of the best things that could happen to you. This is a person you needed to remove from your life, and she did all the work for you.

Now, go out and get some ice cream and celebrate being free!

I dont want the pain ..

I dont like your condenscending tone.

Im not a dip boy

ice cream??

not a good call my friend.

I believe your heart is in a good place but you really dont know how to chat with other suffering people on SR..

Ice cream???

My 25 yr marriage ended because my husband didnt
understand me after I got sober. And it was him who
sent me to rehab. He just couldnt understand why I
changed and wouldnt do all the things i did when I drank.

And he doesnt have a problem with alcohol. I was the
one that couldnt and wouldnt stop. I loved alcohol to much
but it surely hated me.

Anyway....

I coped the best I could for my 25 yr marriage taking my sobriety
seriously and avoiding the negativity by escaping to meetings
or anything to stay sober.

My husband just didnt understand me as an alcoholic because it
wasnt just about not drinking. I changed mentally, emotionally,
physically, spiritually and didnt do all those not so healthy things
when I was drinking. Alcohol kept me sick for so long and I got
heathy in mind body and soul.

It takes an alcoholic to know one. If they are not alcoholics then that have no idea what one is. Sad to say because it ended our marriage.

20 yrs later and Im remarried 2 yrs now to someone in recovery as well where he works his program and I mine. We are supportive of each others recovery and live happy joyous and free each day alcohol free.

My sobriety is just important to me now than it was my first day sober.

I am two or three drinks now,, so what i might say is frivoluous...

I really respect you more than you can possibly know...

thanks for your kind post..

L....I feel so drunk after only 4 glasses of wine

So was your girlfriend right?

Are you more real now? Less fake? Living in the real world?

She is suddenly bored. she was used to and knew the old you. The drinking you she knew how to deal with. The sober you she feels like she doesn't know you. Or it could be she's one of those women that love drama and the control of having something to hang over your head. When you took away that guilt driven subbmission to her , you took away her power..... ( just a possibility )



Either way , I'm sorry man. Very similar thing happened to me this past week but I've got less than 3 weeks sobriety and it happened the first weekend I saw her and was out of rehab. You'll see my post in here somewhere under alcoholism or new comers.

I'm very sorry. Thoughts & prayers with you for what its worth.