lanemary

In the past few months I have noticed a problem with my drinking. I am 20 and have been drinking since I was 14. I have recently found out that I am unable to stop drinking once I start, and do embarrassing things to myself, my friends and the people around me. In the past couple years, I have used cocaine and ecstasy often, almost always once I am drunk. Earlier this year, I made an attempt to stop drinking and going out, but it resulted in me becoming a loner and getting even more depressed. After doing K this weekend while drunk, I have realized that I need to curb my drinking. I wish there was a way I could be able to socially drink and even get drunk, but I do not think there is. Is this possible? Can I ever be able to drink socially and not immediately want to do drugs as soon as I am? I have also been developing a very pricey and harmful cocaine habit, which is directly related to my alcohol consumption.
What do I do?
I know the first step is admitting there is a problem, and I have done that. I need to change my drinking and drug usage.
I am also not a religious person and I doubt I will become one, nor do I have an interest in it.
I just thought I would join and try to get some feedback about my problem. I want to be able to go out and have a good time without blacking out and getting drugs.

Luckyv2

I have that issue too. Although I have became more of a drugs person because my ex asked me not to drink I was too much of a azz when I drank. She gave me permission to use, but that took my life away.

I do know that when I have relapsed with a 6 pack of Bud Bottles that before the 6 pack is gone I've ended up high. So I know that I can't drink if I do I will probably end up dead this time around. I know that I'm getting way to old to be trying it and the results keep getting worse and worse when I do relapse.

Wish you the best.

You don't' have to be Religious to get and find recovery! Believe in yourself if you can't I shall believe in you!

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

You can go out and have a good time without blacking out and getting drugs. Many of us here have lots of fun, but we don't drink.

If you're an alcoholic, you will not be able to control your drinking. There is an invisible line and once you cross it, you can never go back. I think it's good that you recognize you have a problem and are seeking support.

Luckyv2

BTW

God to me is this

Good
Orderly
Direction

Bikeguy

It sounds like your drinking is leading you down a very dangerous path. I don't think anyone on this board can drink "normally" if we could we wouldn't be here. Do yourself a favor and save yourself the heartache, just stop the booze now. I wish I could have the twenty years back I wasted while drinking. All the $$ and problems it has caused me was not worth any "good time" I thought alcohol would give me. Stick around and do some reading and posting, there are a lot of very experience people one this sight. I hope you make the decision to stop now, you will never regret it!

EmeraldRose

Like Bikeguy, I wished I stopped 20 years ago...I can't drink normally either. But its ok because I started a new job and just love it...I love dealing with life sober. I love dealing me myself and my situations sober...everything is so different. Try it...you won't be sorry.
Welcome and glad you're here.

artsoul

Glad you're here and wanting to make some changes. You probably don't need me to say this, but if you're combining alcohol with drugs, you're walking in dangerous territory... Before we get sober, most of us can't imagine having fun without alcohol or substances, but if you read lots of posts here, you'll see that it just isn't true.....
Life really is much better without all the drinking and drugging.

cl3an2day

welcome lanemary

take strength in that you are mindful of your situation at your age, I wish I had the same when I was that young. surround yourself with healthy people, stay true to yourself and never underestimate the power that the disease of addiction has over ones mind.

peace & love

reggiewayne

Welcome Lanmary! We're glad yoiu're here. The truth is none of us have to do anything. I remember when I was drinking I looked at the 12 steps and said "that will never work". "I need to figure this thing out".. So I would analyze my life and say, "If getting drunk is causing me problems, I just won't get drunk", or "I seem to drink a lot more when I take speed before drinking, so I won't do that anymore"...

Sounds like a good plan right? The problem is, the results were terrible. The more I tried to control my substance abuse issues, the more they kicked my ass. Most nights were started with "I'll have a few drinks" = FAIL. Many days were started with, "I'll just take one adderhal today to help me work" -FAIL. Once that **** hit's my system, I'm off the races....

Fail, fail, fail... That is what my best efforts provided. I constantly was failing my own plan for life. So, I had to find something else.

I came to AA because I had no where else to go. It was simply the most available and affordable program I could find. I remember looking at the 12 steps and thinking "this will never work". "How is finding a Higher Power going help me?" "I'm not going to turn my will and life over to the HP, because where will that leave me"... blah, blah, blah...

The bottom line is I was sick, and I had no idea how sick I was. Frankly, I wasn't qualified to make any decision regarding my best interest. I was lost and I knew it! I was finally at a point of desperation and that allowed me to change my mind - changing my mind had changed and saved my life.

That is when I decided to "give it a shot". I would go into AA meetings and see people with 10 days clean, or 4 months, or a year, or 34 years and think, "HOW THE HELL DID THEY DO THIS"...

One day at a time... that's how.

I basically have dumped my plan for life, and have adopted their plan. The results have been 5 months sober, better relationship with my family and friends, a new job, and an overall sense of well being and serenity.

My plan sucked, AA's plan has been much better. It's really that simple.

If we hold on to our old ideas of "there is no God and no higher power, I'm on my own, or I'm gonna figure this thing out and control my drinking, or I just won't drink THAT stuff with THOSE people in THAT place, we fail, fail, fail...

I had to find something else. AA is not the only way, but it's worked for me. I firmly believe that none of us are ready for sobriety until we're surrender absolutely. Maybe you're at that point now. Maybe you're not. If you are, there is a solution. You just have to go get it.

We'll be here for you along the way.

Best of luck to you!!!

totfit

Sounds similar to my issues when I was 20, but I spent many other years attributing the way I drank to situations. Fact was that my body just did not accept alcohol like others and there was no way that I would EVER be able to drink without negative consequences. It is really no big deal once I accepted this. I can't put alcohol in my system so instead I find positive things to do. I associate with positive people and keep a positive attitude myself. You have a great opportunity now to change associations and find positive activities that can become lifelong passions. The key for me was finding my passion. I am glad I finally stopped drinking or I would have never known.