How long is too long?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Arizona
Posts: 76
How long is too long?
Hi. I've been on SR for a little while, but his is my first original post.
My story is pretty much the same as everyone else’s and I’ve been drinking for a very, very long time. I’ve always kept a job and except for a DUI in ’86 have managed to stay under the radar of the law. I never regularly drank first thing in the morning, but I can’t say I never have. I surrounded myself with other drunks and I rarely socialized with non-drinkers. Beer was my choice of poison, although in the latter years I’d taken a shine to wine. Shooters were acceptable too.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve been embarrassed or ashamed due to my drinking. Or how many unspeakable things I’ve done under the influence. Then, during the past several years, I noticed it wasn’t fun anymore. I’d have to plan my social events around people I didn’t have to worry about offending when drunk. Hangovers got way worse and it became increasingly difficult to make it to work every day. I was drinking only to make the “fat head feeling” go away and continued to drink even though I would swear to myself in the morning nothing today yet stopping on the way home for more. In an attempt to control and offset the hangovers, I started buying only the amount of beer or wine that I knew I could consume and still be able to get up and make it to the job. I knew once I passed the point of no return, I would drink until I passed out and feel like total crap the next day. Sometimes if I was really hungover from the night before, or had been drunk 3-4 days in a row, I could sometimes stop at 2 or 3, but that was not the norm. Pathetic! There is so much more I could add, but I think you get the picture.
After over 30 years of my love/hate relationship with alcohol, I decided it was time to quit. I am 50 years old and have been sober for 65 days. I’m done, I’m sick of it, and really love waking up not worried about the night before. My questions are: Have I waited too long? Is there any hope for me? Is it possible to stay sober forever after so many years, years where everything revolved around drinking? Is it normal, sick as it sounds, to miss it even though I know better? Does anyone else out there have a drinking career spanning 30 years or more and currently enjoying sobriety?
Thank you so much for reading, and thank you for this site.
My story is pretty much the same as everyone else’s and I’ve been drinking for a very, very long time. I’ve always kept a job and except for a DUI in ’86 have managed to stay under the radar of the law. I never regularly drank first thing in the morning, but I can’t say I never have. I surrounded myself with other drunks and I rarely socialized with non-drinkers. Beer was my choice of poison, although in the latter years I’d taken a shine to wine. Shooters were acceptable too.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve been embarrassed or ashamed due to my drinking. Or how many unspeakable things I’ve done under the influence. Then, during the past several years, I noticed it wasn’t fun anymore. I’d have to plan my social events around people I didn’t have to worry about offending when drunk. Hangovers got way worse and it became increasingly difficult to make it to work every day. I was drinking only to make the “fat head feeling” go away and continued to drink even though I would swear to myself in the morning nothing today yet stopping on the way home for more. In an attempt to control and offset the hangovers, I started buying only the amount of beer or wine that I knew I could consume and still be able to get up and make it to the job. I knew once I passed the point of no return, I would drink until I passed out and feel like total crap the next day. Sometimes if I was really hungover from the night before, or had been drunk 3-4 days in a row, I could sometimes stop at 2 or 3, but that was not the norm. Pathetic! There is so much more I could add, but I think you get the picture.
After over 30 years of my love/hate relationship with alcohol, I decided it was time to quit. I am 50 years old and have been sober for 65 days. I’m done, I’m sick of it, and really love waking up not worried about the night before. My questions are: Have I waited too long? Is there any hope for me? Is it possible to stay sober forever after so many years, years where everything revolved around drinking? Is it normal, sick as it sounds, to miss it even though I know better? Does anyone else out there have a drinking career spanning 30 years or more and currently enjoying sobriety?
Thank you so much for reading, and thank you for this site.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Sure, ExBud...I started drinking in my teens...escaladed into my 20's and 30's and a big problem in my 40's. I won't be 50 for a couple years yet but drinking has consumed almost my whole life -except for the first 15 years. It's been a long time, a long life, a long battle of deciding if and when I should ever stop.
It's been 95 days for me. Now I seriously don't know why I never took it seriously before. Oh, I stopped here and there...a month, a year, while pregnant, etc. but always managed to find my way back.
Now sober I won't have it any other way. I can't believe the person I have emerged into. I really didn't know who I was all those years. Was a follower in my younger years then when married just kinda went through life to get through life. Ya know? Now its so different. Although I was always an independant person now that independance has taken a hold of control that I was lacking -if that makes sense. Now I know exactly where I am and where I want to be although I am still getting in touch with me as a person. That is coming along....but I don't miss drinking. My whole drinking life is a huge massive foggy blur that, although I'd like to forget, I keep it on under a magnet on the fridge. So I can be reminded daily.
Everything is awesome now...I'm working, going to AA, enjoying my life, enjoying my sobriety...what more can a girl ask for?
It's been 95 days for me. Now I seriously don't know why I never took it seriously before. Oh, I stopped here and there...a month, a year, while pregnant, etc. but always managed to find my way back.
Now sober I won't have it any other way. I can't believe the person I have emerged into. I really didn't know who I was all those years. Was a follower in my younger years then when married just kinda went through life to get through life. Ya know? Now its so different. Although I was always an independant person now that independance has taken a hold of control that I was lacking -if that makes sense. Now I know exactly where I am and where I want to be although I am still getting in touch with me as a person. That is coming along....but I don't miss drinking. My whole drinking life is a huge massive foggy blur that, although I'd like to forget, I keep it on under a magnet on the fridge. So I can be reminded daily.
Everything is awesome now...I'm working, going to AA, enjoying my life, enjoying my sobriety...what more can a girl ask for?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 15
too long, too
Exbudgal, there are many of us in your shoes. I will be 49 this month and have just started to get sober. I'm not sure if it's harder after all this time or not. I know that I have more wisdom and a little better sense of who I am today than 20 years ago which I think is helping me to stay sober. And the part about missing it. Hell yeah. but it's like an abusive lover. Causes you joy and great feelings, but then pain and suffering. And then promises to make it all up to you, so you try again, only to have the same thing happen. You were in love with Bud and I was in love with Miller. They're both sneaky and conniving and think they can eventually win you back. Don't forget how they made you feel like ****. OK, that's my little creative spin on it. Wishing you all the best formerly known as bud gal.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I finally quit drinking in 89....at the age of 53,
Depression was the spur for me to join AA
and begin an awesome adventure in living
with purpose and joy....
A lot of your drinking history is similar to how mine used to be.
Quitting was the wisest move I ever made.
Welcome to our recovery community...
Depression was the spur for me to join AA
and begin an awesome adventure in living
with purpose and joy....
A lot of your drinking history is similar to how mine used to be.
Quitting was the wisest move I ever made.
Welcome to our recovery community...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
I'm not sure if I know who I am more today...but I do have more wisdom and strength and spiritual guidance to keep me on the right path.
You're right Irish...it is like an abusive relationship. I had one of those for 10 years...I liked the relationship better with the booze because I could control that. I had alot of supressed feelings in both relationships and am just now trying to understand myself.
It is hard when its all you know and you don't know how to deal with anything sober. BUt I figure I have alot of time left...and I'm here for a reason, as are both of you. We didn't make it this far to continue our wicked ways. Something good will come of it, you wait and see! :day6
You're right Irish...it is like an abusive relationship. I had one of those for 10 years...I liked the relationship better with the booze because I could control that. I had alot of supressed feelings in both relationships and am just now trying to understand myself.
It is hard when its all you know and you don't know how to deal with anything sober. BUt I figure I have alot of time left...and I'm here for a reason, as are both of you. We didn't make it this far to continue our wicked ways. Something good will come of it, you wait and see! :day6
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I don't believe it's ever too long 
Though I wouldn't exactly put him forward as an example of shining recovery, my grandfather stopped drinking in his late 80s - he's 96 now.
I drank for 20 years myself - drinking was my life - but I found a new one.
D
Though I wouldn't exactly put him forward as an example of shining recovery, my grandfather stopped drinking in his late 80s - he's 96 now.
I drank for 20 years myself - drinking was my life - but I found a new one.
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Ex BG,
First off, Congrats on your two+ months !!
Could really relate to your story. It sure better not be too late !?!
With the primary support of SR, it's been almost 13 months since my last drink.
Was thinking earlier just how different life is this Spring, .....compared to the Spring of 2011.
Life's sure far from perfect , but I'm so grateful to be handling it sober;
.....rather than not at all.
Thanks for you're post,
....and welcome to the posting side of SR !!!
First off, Congrats on your two+ months !!
Could really relate to your story. It sure better not be too late !?!
With the primary support of SR, it's been almost 13 months since my last drink.
Was thinking earlier just how different life is this Spring, .....compared to the Spring of 2011.
Life's sure far from perfect , but I'm so grateful to be handling it sober;
.....rather than not at all.
Thanks for you're post,
....and welcome to the posting side of SR !!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 74
Similar story here, and I don't believe it is ever too late either! And there absolutely is hope for you...I believe there is hope for anyone who truly has a desire to recover, regardless of how long they drank or how old they are. It's just not always easy, especially if you're still missing it (I'm still missing it myself -- almost feels like going through a grieving process)...but I hear so many people say they no longer miss it -- I look forward to that day! You can do it too! Good luck and congrats!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by ExBudGal 
Have I waited too long? Is there any hope for me? Is it possible to stay sober forever after so many years, years where everything revolved around drinking? Is it normal, sick as it sounds, to miss it even though I know better? Does anyone else out there have a drinking career spanning 30 years or more and currently enjoying sobriety?
Good luck.
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,839
I drank for nearly 30 years. At first, I thought there was no way I could go a whole week, a whole month, a whole year...well, that was almost two years ago! After 30 years, my Dad quit at age 51 and he's still sober 28 years later. It's never too late.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 85
Yes there is hope for you! It is the perfect time to start.
Getting sober is basically like starting a new life. I think you will find this 'new you' very enjoyable. You will find many blessings begin to come your way. Sometimes sobriety is like magic.
Getting sober is basically like starting a new life. I think you will find this 'new you' very enjoyable. You will find many blessings begin to come your way. Sometimes sobriety is like magic.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
I quit drinking at 50 after 30+ years of drinking regularly, I couldn't imagine even wanting to live sober but I soon learned to love sobriety and love myself; I found a new pride in myself and a new love of myself and the past 3 plus yrs have absolutely been the best years of my life. I can't get back the years I lost but I can make the rest that I have the best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Arizona
Posts: 76
Wow, I seriously thought I would be like the Lone Ranger. Thank you ALL very much for your support!!
Irish and ERose, that definately hit home, just like a bad love affair is right!
Lovetorun, it is a grieving process now that you mention it. I really loved to drink, but just didn't love what the drinking did to me anymore and had to let it go. Kinda painful actually, in a way only another alcoholic can relate I think.
I can't wait to get to the point where I'm not wallowing in this pity "I can't drink" party. So far I have been staying at home, avoiding the bars & my drinking buddies, and trying to keep busy. I hope to continue finding strength in SR and maybe joining AA. I really like this site and its helped a great deal knowing there are quite a few other old timers out there too!
~hugs
Irish and ERose, that definately hit home, just like a bad love affair is right!
Lovetorun, it is a grieving process now that you mention it. I really loved to drink, but just didn't love what the drinking did to me anymore and had to let it go. Kinda painful actually, in a way only another alcoholic can relate I think.
I can't wait to get to the point where I'm not wallowing in this pity "I can't drink" party. So far I have been staying at home, avoiding the bars & my drinking buddies, and trying to keep busy. I hope to continue finding strength in SR and maybe joining AA. I really like this site and its helped a great deal knowing there are quite a few other old timers out there too!
~hugs
Encourager In Training
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: KS
Posts: 717
Originally Posted by ExBudGal
Wow, I seriously thought I would be like the Lone Ranger.
May you never recover from being "done" and "sick of it", Friend.
And while you're at it, go ahead and cough on the rest of us.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 133
ExBudGal:
Your story sounds very similar to mine. I started binge drinking in my teens and kept it up until my 50s. The anxiety overwhelmed me at the end and my health was in jeopardy. I quit in January and am happy to report that all my tests have come back normal and I am feeling really good now. Better than I have in years. I did think my liver might be hurting but now think it's my new bra that is too tight :-)
I started working out and got my blood pressure back to normal in addition to losing 11 pounds and getting rid of body fat and replacing it with muscle. I think I actually better today than when I was in my 30s.
So yeah - it's never too late to stop and good things will happen.
I read as much as I could about how alcohol and its affects - I arm myself with facts on what it does to my brain and body. I use cognitive behaviour techniques (CBT) to stay sober. I identify my addictive voice that wants to drink and tell it no. This works for me.
I have other problems in life but by being sober those problems are way easier to deal with and handle.
So Hi Ho Silver...Away!
Congrats on your sobriety.
Genie
Your story sounds very similar to mine. I started binge drinking in my teens and kept it up until my 50s. The anxiety overwhelmed me at the end and my health was in jeopardy. I quit in January and am happy to report that all my tests have come back normal and I am feeling really good now. Better than I have in years. I did think my liver might be hurting but now think it's my new bra that is too tight :-)
I started working out and got my blood pressure back to normal in addition to losing 11 pounds and getting rid of body fat and replacing it with muscle. I think I actually better today than when I was in my 30s.
So yeah - it's never too late to stop and good things will happen.
I read as much as I could about how alcohol and its affects - I arm myself with facts on what it does to my brain and body. I use cognitive behaviour techniques (CBT) to stay sober. I identify my addictive voice that wants to drink and tell it no. This works for me.
I have other problems in life but by being sober those problems are way easier to deal with and handle.
So Hi Ho Silver...Away!
Congrats on your sobriety.
Genie
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