Hi - 1st post. I have been exposed... I hope to find help
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 43
Hi - 1st post. I have been exposed... I hope to find help
Hi.. My name is Pojman.
I have been a closet drinker for about 3 years. I have been drinking in secret, in the bathroom, in order to keep my family from finding out.
I grew up in an alcoholic, and drug addicted, family. We are all very functional, and highly manipulative people. Despite our drug addictions, we still have a very good income and community reputation.
I don't know how much you guys know about Mormons - but myself, my wife, my kids, and my whole family are all Mormon. Needless to say, drinking is a big NO-NO in our church.
I started drinking about 200-300mL of 50% whiskey, in a 5 minute sitting, back in 2008, and have had on/off times where I do it daily to every other day.
My wife had found evidence of drinking a couple times and through my powers of deceit I managed to successfully lie to my wife about it, and deny that it was mine.
Recently, my wife found evidence again of my secret. Instead of lieing about it, I just came clean and told her EVERYTHING about my secret.
This has come to a shock to my family, and word spread quickly. My wife is responding better than I had anticipated. But most of all, I am just glad that I do not have to live this lie anymore.
I can only hope that the damage to my health will get better with diet/exercise with no alcohol.
This exposure has caused my world to be completely different. I am sure some of the other secretive alcoholics here can understand what I mean.
Anyways - I have joined this forum in a hope to find as much support as possible. I hope you guys have room for another regular poster, because my journey starts today.
I have been a closet drinker for about 3 years. I have been drinking in secret, in the bathroom, in order to keep my family from finding out.
I grew up in an alcoholic, and drug addicted, family. We are all very functional, and highly manipulative people. Despite our drug addictions, we still have a very good income and community reputation.
I don't know how much you guys know about Mormons - but myself, my wife, my kids, and my whole family are all Mormon. Needless to say, drinking is a big NO-NO in our church.
I started drinking about 200-300mL of 50% whiskey, in a 5 minute sitting, back in 2008, and have had on/off times where I do it daily to every other day.
My wife had found evidence of drinking a couple times and through my powers of deceit I managed to successfully lie to my wife about it, and deny that it was mine.
Recently, my wife found evidence again of my secret. Instead of lieing about it, I just came clean and told her EVERYTHING about my secret.
This has come to a shock to my family, and word spread quickly. My wife is responding better than I had anticipated. But most of all, I am just glad that I do not have to live this lie anymore.
I can only hope that the damage to my health will get better with diet/exercise with no alcohol.
This exposure has caused my world to be completely different. I am sure some of the other secretive alcoholics here can understand what I mean.
Anyways - I have joined this forum in a hope to find as much support as possible. I hope you guys have room for another regular poster, because my journey starts today.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
There's ALWAYS room for another regular poster! You'll notice there are rather a lot of us, it's what helps me through the day. Welcome. I know you'll find a lot of help and support - and understanding - here.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Welcome to SR. Glad you are here. It took a lot of courage to come clean with your wife. That is a huge step in recovery. I do hope you find the encouragement, strength, experience, and hope I have found in this forum. Take care and keep us posted on how things go.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Up, Up and Away
Posts: 434
Welcome to SR! Many of us were secretive drinkers; after all, active drunks aren't normally sought out as friends or lovers in society.
The good news is that there is life after drinking. Keep reading and try to come up with a plan on how you will stop and stay stopped. A lot of us found that quitting was not too hard, but that staying quit was extremely tough.
There are many plans or programs to help you. As you read about alcohol abuse, you will see how different people use different plans. Try the one that seems best to you. If it doesn't work, add something new or try a different plan. Best wishes. You can do it!
The good news is that there is life after drinking. Keep reading and try to come up with a plan on how you will stop and stay stopped. A lot of us found that quitting was not too hard, but that staying quit was extremely tough.
There are many plans or programs to help you. As you read about alcohol abuse, you will see how different people use different plans. Try the one that seems best to you. If it doesn't work, add something new or try a different plan. Best wishes. You can do it!
MIND OF DESTRUCTIVE TASTE
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 744
Welcome to SR 
There is always room for another, so glad that you are here! Thanks for sharing your story - it helps more than you'd think, perhaps giving another out there reading the courage to make their first post
Looking forward to hearing more from you!
-Jess
There is always room for another, so glad that you are here! Thanks for sharing your story - it helps more than you'd think, perhaps giving another out there reading the courage to make their first post Looking forward to hearing more from you!
-Jess
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Welcome to SR. I think you'll fine a lot of people here who can relate to leading a double-life, and to the remarkable feeling of relief when you finally realize it's time to leave the sneaking and lying behind, and start being the person you want to be.
Best of luck on your journey—and I'm glad you're going to share it with us.
Best of luck on your journey—and I'm glad you're going to share it with us.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 270
Originally Posted by Pojman 
I don't know how much you guys know about Mormons - but myself, my wife, my kids, and my whole family are all Mormon. Needless to say, drinking is a big NO-NO in our church.
Some people may try and suggest to you that your current religious faith is inadequate and insufficient to deal with your present problem. I disagree.
The Word of Wisdom is generally interpreted to prohibit the consumption of all alcoholic beverages, with the exclusion of sacramental wine, is it not?
Alcohol creates an appetite for itself, which in some people, is never satiated, but your religion provides a clear, concise, and definitive solution to this problem.
The question you need to ask yourself is: do you plan to heed it, or do you not?
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome! You've just found a few hundred friends who know exactly what you're going through. None of us plan to let our drinking get out of control, but some of us seem to be very susceptible to it (and it is linked to genetics, too).
The good news is that there is help and hope for all of us if we're willing to seek it out. Hang in there - it gets better......!
The good news is that there is help and hope for all of us if we're willing to seek it out. Hang in there - it gets better......!
Brave Heart
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 35
Congratulations on recognizing your illness and facing it honestly. I think you'll find this place a great help to you.
.....and you are very lucky to have a religion. It can be a tremendous source of strength and support to you if you open up your heart.
Good luck in your journey.
.....and you are very lucky to have a religion. It can be a tremendous source of strength and support to you if you open up your heart.
Good luck in your journey.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Pojman,
The LDS church has their own adaptation of the 12 Step AA program that incorporates LDS teachings, kind of like a Pure Word sort of thing. Even moderate-sized Mormon populations should have these available. You're not the first LDS member with a drinking problem.
The LDS church has their own adaptation of the 12 Step AA program that incorporates LDS teachings, kind of like a Pure Word sort of thing. Even moderate-sized Mormon populations should have these available. You're not the first LDS member with a drinking problem.
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