Am I the Only One?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Washington, D.C.
Posts: 3
Am I the Only One?
Two questions. But first let me provide a brief background. I'm not certain if I'm an alcoholic, but I know I have a drinking problem and AA is where I need to be at this point in time. I almost never drank at home, rarely kept alcohol in my home, and never developed a real craving for alcohol when I wasn't drinking. Since I entered AA about 3 weeks ago, when I began doing my first 90 meetings in 90 days, I have begun to develop a few observations and have begun to ask myself several questions:
1) I hear others within my home group say again and again that isolation is one of the worst things. Being alone with the disease makes so many crave a drink, or so I hear. I have never felt this way when I've been alone, and in fact find a bit of isolation a day relaxing. Are there any others new to recovery that feel this way?
2) I have been to AA meetings within several different groups now and I feel as if many within these groups have no concept of how to be anything other than depressed on a regular basis. I'm sorry if I sound as if I'm putting others down by stating this, but I'm still fairly new to all of this. Do others receive a similar vibe?
1) I hear others within my home group say again and again that isolation is one of the worst things. Being alone with the disease makes so many crave a drink, or so I hear. I have never felt this way when I've been alone, and in fact find a bit of isolation a day relaxing. Are there any others new to recovery that feel this way?
2) I have been to AA meetings within several different groups now and I feel as if many within these groups have no concept of how to be anything other than depressed on a regular basis. I'm sorry if I sound as if I'm putting others down by stating this, but I'm still fairly new to all of this. Do others receive a similar vibe?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
I think that alcoholics and addicts come in great variety. There are a lot of differences in our habits and our pathology.
Yes, time alone is pleasant and necessary for many people. Yes, many people in the program only know how to be depressed. But just remember that nothing is universal.
Look for what you share in common with the people in meetings---but also acknowledge the differences between people.
Yes, time alone is pleasant and necessary for many people. Yes, many people in the program only know how to be depressed. But just remember that nothing is universal.
Look for what you share in common with the people in meetings---but also acknowledge the differences between people.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome ACB - I don't currently attend meetings, but have been to a couple hundred in the past...... so I'll just give you my spin on it. For your first question, I think a lot of alcoholics isolated themselves while drinking and for some people it can be a dangerous thing to continue that way. I'm the kind of person who has always been content to be alone (being an artist, I supposed that's a good thing). Personally, I think if you find a balance that suits you, so that you don't get depressed and lone-LY, you're doing well.
The second question is something I can't help you with, as the groups that I attended were almost always positive. Have you tried different meetings?
I'm glad you found the forum - there's a lot of support as well as positivity here, so stick around! Congrats on your sobriety, by the way!
The second question is something I can't help you with, as the groups that I attended were almost always positive. Have you tried different meetings?
I'm glad you found the forum - there's a lot of support as well as positivity here, so stick around! Congrats on your sobriety, by the way!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 861
Welcome ACB, There are many things that are common among people at AA that I don't identify with. Yet there are many similarities too.
If you have any interest in other programs, look at the sticky of alternative programs (SMART, etc). Or you could look into other AA meetings.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
Hope you find what works for you.
If you have any interest in other programs, look at the sticky of alternative programs (SMART, etc). Or you could look into other AA meetings.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
Hope you find what works for you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. You can be in a room of 80 people and still feel alone -and still be lonely. I think it has to do with your own self confidence.
I am alone at home all the time (besides the dogs). But I am far from being lonely. I am comfortable in my own skin. I like being alone.
Some need the security of others, the acceptance of others, the support of others for many reasons including fear and insecurities and lack of selfwill.
I do not crave alcohol anymore alone than I do in a room of 80 people. BUT that is not to say that they're aren't people who need the security and the compassion of having others near. I think they mean that you are more likely to continue drinking if you are alone because there is no one there to stop you or for you to think twice about your decision.
The general aura of AA can be solemn. It is a respectful way to treat people who have been dealing with sad feelings, failure in life issues, broken family issues, etc.
Some people break down in tears in its not a time to make light of their situation. Some really have a hard time getting a grip on their lives. AA is the only place for many to let the emotions loose. Especailly if they have lost control, their families, their finances, etc.
Usually once our meeting adjourns there is a lighter feeling and everyone is back to their chatty selves talking about the weekly local news.
Welcome and glad you're here! =)
I am alone at home all the time (besides the dogs). But I am far from being lonely. I am comfortable in my own skin. I like being alone.
Some need the security of others, the acceptance of others, the support of others for many reasons including fear and insecurities and lack of selfwill.
I do not crave alcohol anymore alone than I do in a room of 80 people. BUT that is not to say that they're aren't people who need the security and the compassion of having others near. I think they mean that you are more likely to continue drinking if you are alone because there is no one there to stop you or for you to think twice about your decision.
The general aura of AA can be solemn. It is a respectful way to treat people who have been dealing with sad feelings, failure in life issues, broken family issues, etc.
Some people break down in tears in its not a time to make light of their situation. Some really have a hard time getting a grip on their lives. AA is the only place for many to let the emotions loose. Especailly if they have lost control, their families, their finances, etc.
Usually once our meeting adjourns there is a lighter feeling and everyone is back to their chatty selves talking about the weekly local news.
Welcome and glad you're here! =)
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