SullenGirl

I have never been much of an every day drinker... This is what has made it SO easy to convince myself that I don't have a problem with alcohol, despite the millions of stupid things I have done while drinking. I figured if I wasn't drinking like my mother (who literally gets home from work, drinks herself into a stupour, whilst treating everyone around her like crap and does the same thing again the next day) than I was safe. The fact of the matter is, I think it has taken me 29 years to realise that the difference between my mother and I is, she can afford to drink every day... I cannot and have always just accepted that. Upon realising I needed to quit this time -- I wondered to myself "what am I going to do when I have the funds to feed this beast every day.." My answers proved to scare me.

So its been around the same amount of days that I usually would have drank. Most of the time, I just get myself a little bottle of wine which doesn't get me drunk enough to do anything stupid... by the time I have finished that and am looking for more, everything is closed... So I accept that... It may even take two, three, four months again before I act like a complete ass and treat everyone around me like crap.... but it's those times that show me I need to quit. It's those times that I have to round the phone numbers together and make my apologies, it's those times I have left my dear friends feeling crappy about themselves, it's those times I sometimes even lose relationships. Even if those times happened once in a life time, it's too many. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a saint when I'm sober and sometimes can be a bit of an ass... but I NEVER act like that.

This weekend, I'm hanging out with my daughter. I forced her to watch the royal wedding (haha she's 10 and could care less), we did facials and painted nails and tonight she's having someone over. I know this weekend I am safe from that little voice that will say "you're fine, just have a little..." and I feel great about that. Let's just hope this feeling follows me into the week!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

doggonecarl

It's Ok to drink...the great lie that keeps us enslaved. It will likely follow you to next week and beyond. But you don't have to listen, you don't have to drink.

Welcome to SR.

coffeenut

It will follow you. Stick close to SR!

opmloser

Hi Sullen,
I learned from the get-go that it doesn't matter how much you drink/how often you drink/what you drink/when/where/how you drink. Keep coming back to SR and you'll find more answers than you dreamed.
Best of love & take care of you - yes, and try and take it 24 hours at a time!

Anna

Good for you for recognizing that it's time to take action.

It's not easy to stop easy, but I hated the person that I had become, and that made stopping a bit easier.

FrothyJay

Actually, that little voice does not have to follow you. The idea that dealing with a drinking problem means you must wage a lifelong battle with urges is patently false.

The program of recovery in AA promises that the voice will quiet. That we'll be placed in a position of neutrality, where we won't feel one way or another about drinking.

Sure, early sobriety is hard. But don't believe for one second it always has to be hard. But it doesn't get easier just with time-- it takes a process that changes us.

Dee74

In my experience it does get easier - none of us would be here if it didn't.
We change with time and a little work, Sullen Girl, and those voices/lies lose their power

D

artsoul

I spent most of the day making jewelry with my daughter - it was a nice relaxing day..... I can't imagine trying to do that with a hangover. It felt good to be sober today and you never know what memories we're building for our children.

Glad things are going well this weekend!

Fandy

whatever recovery road you wish to follow,(AA is not the answer for EVERYONE, there are many options) be glad that you are really on it and want to stay sober.

I can assure you that if you continue drinking, you WIILL drink every day/night and maybe it will start earlier and earlier in the day...you might want wine for breakfast one day.

if you need to use your mother's drinking as motivation, go for it...maybe you will set the good example for her.

congrats on your decision.

EmeraldRose

I'm glad you are enjoying the weekend. We just take it day by day. Keep busy stay on track. That's all we can do.
Rehab and AA have helped me. But we are all at different points of our lives and recovery...my voice is gone. I couldn't care less if I ever see a bottle of booze again.
On my way home from a productive day at work today, I passed by the local watering holes...thought to myself, thank god I don't have to drink!!
Hope you have a happy tomorrow you have everything to stay sober for...namely a 10 year old!