SwanSong

This was a good discussion thread. Nice to see everyone discussing this very serious topic!

susanlauren

Dee,
Thank you. The past does not have to be the future. That terrible legacy needs to end with my generation, with me. By God's grace, it will. What is sad is that my nephew is carrying on the family tradition. He went to rehab several years ago and still drinks.

Lipitor,
Your humble opinion is on the mark. I do think too much. There is a party going on in my head and I wasn't invited. That's without any alcohol. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if that were one of the reasons I drank -- to turn off/turn down the noise.

John,
Take your one month of "electrical shocks" and multiply it by nine months. I have been engaged in a pitched battle, day in day out, raging obsession. It has been miserable. The ongoing fight with temptation has been exhausting.

jakobkelly

This is my first post. This is suppose to be my 4th day sober but last night my daughter was at work and my husband out of town for work and i found myself straight to the liquor store to get some hard lemonade. I was talking with my husband on the phone last night and he kept telling me how proud he was of us (he quit drinking on the same day) I feel like such a failure I couldn't even make it 3 days. I didn't really have any withdrawl symptoms I just wanted it. I am afraid that I am more addicted than I realize, reading the above posts really scare me and I feel that i won't be able to do this on my own, even with my husband quiting with me.

dfw

You can do this. It's just a matter of figuring out what can shift your mind off of alcohol, whether it's AA, therapy, religion, personal will, it doesn't matter. I didn't think I'd be able to make it through a month, but I did, and I think with the right mindset and tools you can too.

jakobkelly

Thank you so much, how did you make it through the first few weeks. I am really scared, drinking has become such a part of my life I feel that I will be lost. We just moved to Tennessee and have no friends so most of the time we just hang out and drink, grill out and listen to music. I have a great 16 year old daughter and I worry that I am showing her that drinking everyday is normal and I really don't want her to have that kind of life and I feel really pathetic whining like this lol.

JohnBarleycorn

Susan,

I'm truly sorry you are struggling so much. I had to make some changes to make those shocks lessen.

It seems that chronic alcohol consumption causes hypoglycemia in many people. In the book "Under the Influence" by James R. Milam, there is an appendix titled "Guidelines for a Hypoglycemic Diet" and another titled "A Sample Hypoglycemic Diet and Snacks."

You should run the it by your doctor first, but I had to adopt some of the guidelines in the book. The changes don't kick in immediately, and may take a few months to fully sink in, but they did help.

I also had to quit smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee (didn't always succeed), and having sugary snacks (also didn't always succeed). All of these exasperated my blood sugar fluctuations, and the cravings for alcohol.

I don't know if you smoke, but after the withdrawal was through, quitting the cigarettes and cutting back on the caffeine did help significantly.

Like you, "addictions counseling/therapy" did not work, Cognitive Behavioral Emotional Therapy (CBT/CBET/SMART recovery) did not work.

I read Allen Carr's "The Easy Way to Stop Drinking" and he spoke of an "evil little monster" inside. Of course, I was going to wage war and kill the little monster. It did not work. The SOB didn't die. It always came back.

Ultimately, I concluded that there was no treatment, no way to kill the little monster, and that I would possibly have to live with this for the rest of my life.

Rational thinking did not work. I could always rationalize it. Bad day at work? Drink! Got a 30% raise? Drink a $100 bottle of scotch to celebrate instead of the usual $40 one!

I was fighting not only the physical addiction, but also the psychological rationalizations and the horrific depression that just would not go away.

That's when I concluded that I needed to be irrational. I had to be absolutist, rigid, autocratic, tyrannical, even fanatical in my resolve. I eventually came up with the plan that I described in another thread.

I can sense the desperation in your writing, and I hope you find your peace.

You wrote: "But I believe there is a solution"

Focus on that. Hang in there.

NEVER, EVER GIVE UP.

Dee74

welcome to SR jakobkelly

D