Anxiety is the gravitational pull that the black hole, alcoholism,has created for you. When sober you revolve around it in an elliptical orbit; you'll know when the pull is strong, when you are closer to caving. Then you'll be further away and feel better. you know when you trend close. Each lap around increases your orbit a bit further, making each day a tad easier- more tolerable down moments, more comfortable up moments. Giving in sucks you back into the black hole, feeding it and making it even stronger against your next attempt.

When you are close to falling in. Put on the afterburners. Go for a ride.