Prayers please
 

Why is this so hard? I was down on my knees this morning praying to God that He would help me. I found this website shortly after.

I know I am powerless to this bondage. I have been in this bondage of alcohol for so many years. I get sick of it and quit for a while then I find myself back in. I am an addict. I have been since I was in high school. I want out and I want out for good but still within seconds I think "No I don't want to stop for good, that's to long. I can stop for a little while." This sucks!! I can't stand the head games I play with myself.

Please pray that I can go home and dump out all the alcohol. That I can start tonight. That this evening will be day one.

Thank you for praying for me.:tyou

:welcome

Have you tried AA? Maybe reading the big book of AA can help tonight?

Big Book Online Fourth Edition

All my prayers.

Welcome to our recovery community..:wave:

Prayers going out for clairty in your thinking.

We can and do recover...Yes that can be true for you too.
:hug:

Dumping that alcohol is key, and therapeutic/liberating as h*ll. Welcome, and yes this site is a divine intervention of sorts. Hopefully see your 1 day sober post tomorrow.

Good on you for having the guts to post on here.......

Wherever you live, get on the net and find if there is an Alcoholics Anyonymous meeting on tonight somewhere in your area. Just a thought.

Looks like , from the last few posts , that God is giving you your answer .


Hang in

L

Hi Akua :)

I prayed to God for many years too - but things really started to move when I accepted my part in the deal :)

keep working hard on staying sober, find as much support as you can...things will change :)

Welcome to SR :)

D

I will pray for you, for sure. But remember you need to take action.

Welcome to SR, I will be praying for you tonight. Stay strong, you can do this!

Welcome and sending you prayers...not that you pour out the booze but that booze becomes so repugnant to you that you cannot bear the though of drinking again.

That prayer worked for me:)

Thank you everyone.... I poured every out last night. One day down...the rest of my life to go.

I have gotten through letting it go many times. I am already concerned about social events with alcohol.:c020: Yikes!

Way to go on dumping out the booze. One day at a time you can do it!

Hi Akua,

In AA, it's been my experience (and I hear it in the rooms all the time) that it wasn't going to be sufficient to simply stop drinking. Once the alcohol is gone I'm still the same person, and alcohol was fully ingrained in my brains 'reward' system along with how I dealt with life- it was my problem but also my only solution. So you're not alone in either putting it down many times before or being concerned about living without alcohol. It's been my experience that the way of life I have now since joining AA and throwing myself fully into it's program of recovery is exponentially better than my old life with alcohol.

If you read the forums here at SR long enough I think you'll discovery many similar experiences by those who have chosen a different method of recovering. To me the common theme is that we all had to find a new way of living and once we discover whatever path works for us we find a new level of freedom by not having to deal with the mental obsessions of alcohol - be it the thought of picking up again or how to live without it.

Having said that, my drinking career and attempts to quit without a solid recovery program have proven one thing- I'll invariably drink again. So I would encourage you to find a support system and some type of recovery program that you can work towards. Many of us choose a spiritual path, others religious, others may differ. But I do believe nearly most if not all of us have had to make considerable changes in order to find happiness in our sobriety - to me, that is the key- finding and maintaining happy, contented sobriety. Best of luck to you, prayers coming your way! :)

Awesome, Akua! But don't worry about future events - sobriety gets easier with time, but you need to stay sober today to get to that point.

Just focus on today. Don't think about the rest of your life. It'll make you crazy. Do work on yourself, think about going to a meeting, reaching out to people and most importantly staying sober TODAY. You can really in each moment only make decisions for that moment.

And welcome, of course. Keep coming back. It'll get easier as the alcohol gets out of your system.

Welcome to SR. I'm very proud that you poured it all out. Good for you. Now find something new to do--maybe posting here at first.

I struggle as well with the "rest of your life" bit. I think that is too much to ask. What if you thought about having three hangovers a week for the rest of your life? Wouldn't waking up sober and excited be the obvious choice? I have had many terrible hangovers and felt bad that it wasn't cancer. I mean, if I'm going to be this sick, shouldn't I be dying for real? Should I waste my time for nothing--or worse--for an expensive, destructive habit?

I hope we all can repair the damage we have done (I'm working on that myself) while avoiding what we should have been doing in the first place.

About being social!
 

:c011:First of all congrats on dumping out!!!! house cleaning is the #1thing, then support system in tact 2nd....Stay strong , keep praying, coz we are. It goes to show you that many people have the same struggles in this life of ours, that is why this site is here, for people like US!!!!!! Keep Coming back!!:banana: oh, and about the social thing if your worried about your friends, heres my thought on that, a true friend would stand by your side and want the best for you & for you to be happy & healthy, not to hold you back in a miserable life you want out of!!! Just my thoughts....:c031:

Nice work pouring out the devil's potion. I just feel like it is too tempting having it around for me. As for the social situation, build up to it. Avoid it until you have prepared yourself and then take it on as a challenge. There is some good advice in this thread.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...cial-life.html

I learned early on in recovery that we never have
to go thru anything alone or by ourselves. Doesn't
that sound comforting? It definitely does to me.

There were so many times I tried to stop drinking
for good cause I had had enough. I was beaten down
so many times. Just simply sick and tired to trying and
failing.

My family came to my rescue when I needed help desperately.
A family intervention was pulled on me and off to rehab I
went in the back of a handless police car like a common
criminal.

The next 28 days would be a changing point in my life when
I replaced drinking with the tools and knowldege of my
alcoholism then set on a path of recovery incorperating the
steps and principles to live by a day at a time.

While I was in rehab my husband removed all the alcohol
in the house so when I returned home I wouldnt have the
temptation to drink since I would be fresh out of rehab.

Today I am extremely grateful for what transpired 20 yrs.
ago. Grateful that my family was supportive of my recovery.

Like I mentioned up top, you never have to go thru anything
alone or by urself again. Having someone to to remove all
the alcohol from ur home would be helpful. That way you
dont have to handle it or think about while it is being removed.

From there, like what was suggested to me in early recovery,
changes from staying away from people, places and things
that would have any connection to alcohol. As long as there
is no tempation of alcohol in reach then you can clearly focus
on ur recovery.

Today some 20 yrs. sober I continue to incorperate the
steps and principles set down before us in our program
of AA.

:hug: Prayers to you, we are here for you. :hug: