Notices

It's time. Advice welcome.

Old 05-03-2011, 05:23 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
I have had a decent understanding of the physical part for some time. It's the mental part I am focusing on more this time around
That's good realizing the easy part first, the pysical and what it exactly is, the metabolism etc..., I believe it is that from my own experiences, one drink and....,

The mental part, well, we know what paths or path is out there and in time God Willing and with your willinness to start learning to live without the drink, it's a new thing.....
Our mind can "tell us" to drink, but if we establish an understanding about the physical craving, mind or no mind it's there and eventually it cannot be denied for much longer during each and everyone's individual journey.
That needs to be clear and accepted first, the physical.

I find it's easier to push the drink away when one is offered these days at famliy gatherings, and it's ok now, plus I don't need to explain the in's and out's, just "no thanks, not today"...,
The thought may linger and fade, but the obsession has gone, so we don't act on the thought.
However, the obsession can be tricked On, billboards, Ad, cultre, "traditions", all centered around alcohol. Eventually I saw through all that...
I find it amusing sometimes when watching sport and a beer ad comes on, I have "power" to mute the volume during the ad. It's a buzz, it really is!
Pete55 is offline  
Old 05-03-2011, 06:18 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 91
Fantastic post. You seem very driven and have a active lifestyle, all which will get better and more exciting with long term recovery!
jimmydean is offline  
Old 05-03-2011, 06:44 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
 
Zube's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Indiana
Posts: 706
Wink

Originally Posted by Humbled77 View Post
We live in a pretty rural area and AA meetings aren't really an option. So I am thankful that this place exists and hope that the experiences of others can help me and that mine can help them. That is if I haven't already drank myself to death.
Humbled 77...You may not want to hear this, but if you have time to drink a 20 pack in one evening, you probably have time to travel to your closest A.A. meeting...?

Good luck to you,
Zube
Zube is offline  
Old 05-03-2011, 06:59 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
 
EmeraldRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
[QUOTE=Humbled77;2955822]In re-reading my post from earlier today, my lifestyle must seem ridiculously foreign to many of you. I certainly wasn't trying to boast, just share what is going on during my journey. I realize I live a very abnormal existence, but that is irrelevant to my alcoholism. Hell, I was an alcoholic in New York City as well.

What I find interesting is how similar I feel my alcoholic life and experiences are with many on this site.



Alcoholism isn't prejudges. It doesn't matter if you have $1,000 or 100,000...all you need is the unmanagibility that comes with the booze, the insecurity, the shame, the guilt -that's all...money is only required to buy the booze.
I drank during all aspects in my life, business, travel, pleasure....for the past 30 years. Everyone's degree of life maybe different but the share of booze is always a common factor.
Hopefully, you can quit for good...not only changing your drinking habits but changing your mind and heart. Very important. I stopped many many times but not until I lost my job did I realize I wasn't doing it right!
I wish you peace and strength.
EmeraldRose is offline  
Old 05-03-2011, 07:05 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
dfw
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 83
Humbled...you make me want to chase my dream of mountaineering.

It sounds like you're taking everything in stride and doing the best you can. Keep up the positive attitude!
dfw is offline  
Old 05-03-2011, 09:29 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 93
Originally Posted by Zube View Post
Humbled 77...You may not want to hear this, but if you have time to drink a 20 pack in one evening, you probably have time to travel to your closest A.A. meeting...?

Good luck to you,
Zube
Zube- You make a very valid point, and I don't have any bias towards AA, my dad was a beneficiary. But it's an hour and a half drive to the nearest meeting unfortunately. Now if it comes down to driving that distance daily or going back to my old ways, then I will drive it. But currently I feel like regularly driving 3 hours would certainly drive me into the bottle, there are a lot of liquor stores on the two-lane road between here and there. It's still on the table though.
Humbled77 is offline  
Old 05-03-2011, 09:44 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 93
Originally Posted by dfw View Post
Humbled...you make me want to chase my dream of mountaineering.

It sounds like you're taking everything in stride and doing the best you can. Keep up the positive attitude!
dfw- You should do it! It has been one of the great passions of my life, led to some of my best friendships, and taken me all over the world. It can also occupy a lot of idle time in a positive manner. The only issue it has brought me in sobriety is that most climbers party as intensely as they play. Alcohol is strongly ingrained in the climbing culture, but I am dealing with that daily. American climbing culture is rooted in western Europe, where Italian machismo, Swiss precision, and French non-chalantness rule. So showing/admitting weakness isn't often observed. It's a challenge for me.
Humbled77 is offline  
Old 05-03-2011, 09:58 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mark75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Not foreign to me... I love to ski (I live in the NE but get out to WY every winter), bike, fly fish, whitewater... all that... in ME and WV... Wish I lived out west, but there is paradise back east, you just have to know how to find it...

Welcome to SR... yea, long drive to AA... How about you get a copy of the Big Book... it is simply called Alcoholics Anonymous... You can get it Amazon. Barnes and Noble, at meetings, there is an online edition and an electronic edition you can read on a kindle, iTouch or iPad... it's DEFINATELY worth a read...

Not only could I identify (well, be envious of, LOLOL) your lifestyle, I can identify with your drinking... and that's what's really important and why we are all here... There is a solution...

Mark75 is offline  
Old 05-10-2011, 05:53 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 93
Well I am at 2 weeks and some change. Feeling pretty good. It seems like so much longer than two weeks since I was wondering around in a haze. It's funny how fast time slips by when drinking. I have done more in the last two weeks than I did all winter. A good feeling.

A few observations. I haven't really had significant cravings, a few fleeting thoughts but nothing overwhelming. I have been staying fairly busy which helps I guess. Not on purpose, I just realized how much stuff I was neglecting while drinking. I still have a lot of stuff to address, but getting stuff done feels great.

The one day at a time mentality does ring true with me. Though in a way much different than I expected. I looked at it as everyday was going to be a huge struggle which hasn't been true for me. However if I start to think about being sober forever, or never having another drink, or being sober in 5 years it is difficult to grasp and at times daunting. However, if I just plan and live today as a sober person, it is very manageable, as well as enjoyable. Kind of a mind trick I guess, but if it works...

I remember worrying a great deal about how much my life would have to change if I got sober. I used it as a primary excuse not to stop. There was always that one more event I wanted to participate in before I quit. I generally like my friends, surroundings, and activities. I was scared that those things were going to be different for some weird reason. In reality the only major changes have been better health, clarity of mind, more motivation, and not having to plan everything around my drinking. I know this is different than many but it is my experience thus far.

I have been in many drinking situations the past couple of weeks. I haven't really had much of an issue with it though. I do avoid the gatherings that carry the sole purpose of drinking, seems pointless if I am sober. My friends haven't even really questioned me. I'm not sure they even notice.

The insomnia is gone. My fear level has returned back to what I think is normal for me. I had a little too much courage while drinking and that was a problem given my lifestyle, more than a few broken bones the last few years. I think my anxiety level is higher than when drinking, but probably at a healthy level. While drinking, if anxiety creeped in, I would wash it away. I was also fairly depressed when drinking, I considered going on meds, but remarkably the depression evaporated with the alcohol. I am very thankful for that. Depression is such a terrible thing. I have enormous sympathy for those that suffer from the disorder. Crippling.

I am saving a bunch of money which is great. Alcohol, especially stuff that is palatable (though I was never ashamed to drink anything available), is expensive. Especially on a daily basis. That money is going to stuff that will be around longer than the hour or so it takes me to pee it out.

My shoulder is finally recovering. The docs never did figure out what was wrong with it. I suspect that the healing process is easier for my body when sober, go figure. Otherwise my health seems to be improving generally. Chronic dry mouth is finally dissipating and the phantom aches and pains are vacating my premises as well.

My therapist has been helpful on a number of fronts. We have discussed the drinking and it's route causes, she hasn't quite figured out why I was drinking so much other than I really like to drink, but we are getting there. Interestingly we have spent more time on other issues, nothing major, but there are definitely some things that are helpful to talk through and examine. Certainly therapeutic.

Well that is my check in. I have physically been here before, but mentally I feel like it's a whole different ball game. The support and prioritization seem to be the difference. I have finally come to realize how imperative the mental part is. A long way to go, a lot of work ahead, but like a difficult climb, sometimes turning around isn't an option, so focus upwards and commit.

Just wanted to share a bit as I have gained so much from all the folks on SR. I wish you all the best sober days ahead.
Humbled77 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:17 PM.