I cannot live like this anymore
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 8
I cannot live like this anymore
I am a SAHM for the last 8 years. I have finally came to the realization that I am an addict and my choice is my husband Oxycodene. While it may not be alot to some, I take 30mg pill cut in half every day and it last for me. It gives me engery and focus that I need. This has been going on for almost 2 years now. It started one night when I had such a horrible migraine, my husband gave me half. Well needless to say it got rid of my migraine ane gave me energy to get through what I needed to get done. I could focus etc. Well I cannot live like this anymore. I'm living a lie, embarrassed, lieing to people.
I did go to my dr because I was having a hard time focusing the lack of energy and she did diagnose me with ADD as an adult. I started on Adderall and felt great for a few days then hit rock bottom and it stopped working, she tried ridalin, and I wanted to kill myself. Now I'm on wellbutrin and feel ok, but still taking the 15 mg to get my "Kick".
It's been 2 years on this drug. Since its controlled I have to get the script for my husband and literrally driving home I taking one so when I get home I can hit the ground running. I cannot live this up and down anymore. My husband I think has an idea and I have to stop.
Today is my first day of nothing, but I have no energy. I'm missing that boast and just wonder if i can ever feel normal again. I think that I do have some depression going on since my life has been turned upside down, with job losses, foreclosure, bad marriage, etc. I don't know what to do where to start.
I'm embarrassed to tell anyone because i don't want anyone to look at me like something is wrong with me. I just want to be clean and feel normal and not crave this "high" from this drug.
Today is my first day since I'm not taking a pill. Last night was hell, couldn't sleep, I'd lay down and then jump because it felt like my body would not relax, my stomach is a mess, massive headache and nasty taste in my mouth.
Thank you for listening and any advice for me.
Thank you for your suggestions.
I did go to my dr because I was having a hard time focusing the lack of energy and she did diagnose me with ADD as an adult. I started on Adderall and felt great for a few days then hit rock bottom and it stopped working, she tried ridalin, and I wanted to kill myself. Now I'm on wellbutrin and feel ok, but still taking the 15 mg to get my "Kick".
It's been 2 years on this drug. Since its controlled I have to get the script for my husband and literrally driving home I taking one so when I get home I can hit the ground running. I cannot live this up and down anymore. My husband I think has an idea and I have to stop.
Today is my first day of nothing, but I have no energy. I'm missing that boast and just wonder if i can ever feel normal again. I think that I do have some depression going on since my life has been turned upside down, with job losses, foreclosure, bad marriage, etc. I don't know what to do where to start.
I'm embarrassed to tell anyone because i don't want anyone to look at me like something is wrong with me. I just want to be clean and feel normal and not crave this "high" from this drug.
Today is my first day since I'm not taking a pill. Last night was hell, couldn't sleep, I'd lay down and then jump because it felt like my body would not relax, my stomach is a mess, massive headache and nasty taste in my mouth.
Thank you for listening and any advice for me.
Thank you for your suggestions.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family.
Do take a look at our substance abuse forum for lots of information and support.
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Do take a look at our substance abuse forum for lots of information and support.Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi,
Welcome and I'm glad you're seeking support.
It's always best to talk to your dr before you begin a detox.
The symptoms you're having sound fairly typical for someone getting off drugs. I hope you can hang in there and you will begin to feel better.
Welcome and I'm glad you're seeking support.
It's always best to talk to your dr before you begin a detox.
The symptoms you're having sound fairly typical for someone getting off drugs. I hope you can hang in there and you will begin to feel better.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: somewhere, tx
Posts: 128
Hello To You
I just joined this forum today and I can totally relate to your pain. I have been combing through the Substance Abusers threads and there's an abundance of good info for you, not to mention, you will see you're sooo not alone in your addiction. And you say you've been living a lie, eh? Me too. And most of the good people here as well.
Please read as much as you can handle......I'm putting you in my prayers tonight...
Please read as much as you can handle......I'm putting you in my prayers tonight...
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