FNB3

I would think that the presenter of that message subscribed to the old adage that too much of anything isn't good and that moderation is key.

There just happen to be different consequences and possibly benefits in things we partake in excess. I do see the merit in this belief. Balance is what should be sought. If a man is constantly going to the gym he may find himself in great condition but would have spent little time with his family or on his career. That man would then feel bad about those consequences possibly leading him back to drinking.

Insert your own scenario here.

Balance is key.

newwings

Absolutely, FNB3. I agree, moderation is the key. And I don't have a great history with either wine (or cigarettes) in moderation, hence me being here. Luckily, I don't have the time or inclination to become addicted to the gym. I know my body's limits, and after years of drinking, I'm not going to push too hard.

As a sideline, I got talking to a woman after the meeting. She has been sober for over a year now, and attends AA meetings. Now, I'm not sure, and do feel free to chime in, but I can't think that the fact she attends meetings from 6am - 11pm EVERY SINGLE DAY, driving all over the city to hop from one to the other, consecutively, is healthy. I feel she has replaced the obsessive drinking with obsessive AA meetings. Not to knock her, as she's sober 358 more days than me, so I don't want to judge, but surely that isn't healthy for her either? That's not moderation, is it?

Mark75

It wouldn't be moderation for me, that's for sure... But, that's not for me to decide... If she isn't neglecting family or her basic needs and she wants to make a vocation of AA, good for her, and all those for whom her life touches...

I know that in the winter, if I could ski every day, all day, in the summer bike, fish, canoe every day, I surely would... but I need my family and they need me... and there is that whole balance thing...

topspin

I certainly don't mean to sound judgemental, but;

Who can know the details of another's situation ?
What's "healthy " for one person could very well be unhealthy for someone else.

Doing "whatever it takes" seems to work the best for me.

One of the best things I learned this past year was just to let go of all judgement ..... (about what other folks are or aren't doing )

I just celebrate whatever's working for anybody else

newwings

Yes, that's true. I've been in two minds as whether to ask if I can delete that post, because I JUST DON'T KNOW what is normal in long term sobriety, and I have no one else to ask, since everyone around me are still drinkers. I really try not to be a judgmental person, but, since I did nothing BUT judge other drinkers when I was drinking (Woah, I'm not that bad, I don't drink vodka like you do, I got as drunk as you but didn't show it, etc etc) I'm trying not to be judgmental of the sober..

But it was important to ask you all after this thread and due to the exactly the discussion the meeting had: avoiding extremes.

I'm still trying to make sense of all this. It was dreadful in my drinking world, but I knew it. This whole new phase of my life is totally untrodden territory for me, especially this forum etiquette etc. Please forgive me if I sounded negative and judgmental. I'll go away and have a good think about this over a soda.

Dee74

It's a reasonable thing to ask newwings...but without knowing the intimacies of someone else's life...who knows if it's good or not?

I think balance is important - I have a tendency to work too hard, and for me that would too much...but in the end, it's only really important what this woman thinks

D

FNB3

I think that your friend attending is just doing NOW what she needs to in order to survive. Her picture of life at this moment will not be the same in a couple of months. Later, she may find her self stabilized to the point where she can look for more balance in life.

Who cares what anyone says about anything. Go to excess in anything that won't have such impactful consequences as drinking and using. Those can kill quick. The others may do damage as well but if it's a vehicle to stop using NOW then use it.

When you picture of where you are at changes in some time, assess your lifestyle then and make adjustments. You will at least be drug and alcohol free and better equipped to make important decisions.

topspin

New Wings,

great screen name, BTW

No need for any apology , my friend. This is my first time on a forum too.
I'm the one who should have tempered my thought with what Dee said;

...about it being a perfectly reasonable question.
(he's got a natural gift for tact I'm still trying to learn ) lo

You take care