SgtFCAmerica

After hearing from you, thought I'd check out some of your threads. Obviously, all of us can relate. My thing every month, from a couple providers... 20-30 80 mg OC (green monsters) 100-150 5mg percs, than switch to Tram 50mg, usually a couple hundred, till those peoples scripts came in again. So sad after reading that. The first time I quit, I went to a Drug Addiction Psychiatrist. Paid out of pocket because of my profession think it was only $200. Spent about 30 minutes with him and he game me 3 meds to help with the withdrawals, I'm sure most of you are familiar with them. Anyway, 3 days of feeling very miserable and I woke up on day 4 feeling like a champ, not 100%, but much better. Of course, I fell in the hole again and this time I just quite on my own. I knew what was ahead and just told myself something I've told myself many times in the suckholes I've been in this world (Be all you can be, right? wouldn't trade it for anything!). Time never stops... the withdrawals have a shelf life, they will expire whether they want to or not! Last Friday I just kept telling myself "In a week from now, I'm going to look back and say, what was I so afraid of?" For the record, the night sweats BLOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!! May as well have slept in the bathtub last night! When does that end?? Now instead of counting how many pills I have left I count how many Calories/Protein I've consumed! There is NO room for POISON in my SUPER SOLDIER PROGRAM!

FNB3

I'm improving and it's day 7. I range from elated to just below indifferent. The physical stuff is still hanging around but not as intense as a couple days back. Not really thinking about what I need to do for my recovery yet but I can see that happening soon. Just trying to survive it right now and let my mind and body stabilize. I'm in an OK place and I'll take it right now.

Thanks for the post CaptianA...again, welcome...we have the same end date I think...

SgtFCAmerica

Just stay positive bro! It's all downhill for us from here on out! I'm heading home early, gonna go turn on some ACDC, crank that $hit to 11 and hit the GYM!!!!

FNB3

Lol...thank Capy...enjoy your evening

You need to bottle that JAM you got and sell it...I would probably buy some...

I must admit that I'm skeptical about the sustainability of your attitude but it's possibly just jealousy. You shouldn't care about that though. Stay clean brother...

SgtFCAmerica

I wish I could bottle it and give it away!!

Only time well tell bro, but I'll show you it can be done!!

JACK3D consumed, GYM arrival in T - 23 minutes!

FIRED UP!

Harleybobber

FN, hang in there brother. I was taking oxycodone 10-20, 30mgs pills a day. Gah! What a fool. I quit cold turkey on April 3rd. I still don't feel right, but I'm better. It does slowly get better, but I still don't sleep regularly, head is full of mush, not much energy, and equilibrium comes and goes. However, it is improving. Hang in there.

FNB3

Watch those N.O. Supplements, I hear they can put holes in the kidneys...

SgtFCAmerica

I have bigger things to worry about!!

FNB3

Depressed an ANGRY yesterday and today. Really angry and thinking about where I am in life. I know it's not productive to wallow but I just can't shake it. I think some synapse are firing again and my emotions are ALL OVER the place. Today is around day 12.

It's ugly.

SgtFCAmerica

Sorry to hear that. Just remember, he pills won't make it better, only worse. 12 days, that's awesome! As you know, I'm at 12 too. Woke up all kinds of wet last night, other than that, feel great. Are you exercising?? How's the diet??

FNB3

Diets pretty clean besides the daily Oreo twisted frosty...

90 min of HIIT training 6 days a week...

I won't go back to using...just feel like crap...

I feel better after workouts...my mind races in the AM

FNB3

Day 16 and it feels like a lifetime ago...don't even feel like the time is important and don't feel any sence of accomplishment..probably should but am refusing to because I feel so terrible.

Sooooooo damn angry I can't see straight. Going into my man-cave too often to try to find solutions to all of my problems and not coming up with any easy fixes. Reality, consequences of being "checked-out" for 5 years is slapping me right in the face right now.

Self-talk I futile at the moment.

I know this is just the disease trying to get me but I won't let it. I'm just running out of things to do to feel better and my tools aren't working too well.

Just in a really foul place. Yelling at the kids when I normally wouldn't, kicking the dog (not really but I want to) and not even talking to the wife.

Feel like I can't breathe.

The one thing I keep thinking about is a program. I just don't feel like it right now. I'm not sure where or when or how on that yet. I guess will start on that when I'm tired of feeling lousy.

Sorry for the negative energy here but I'm not really writing this stuff for you all.

artsoul

It sucks when we have to start dealing with the negative emotions.... it's part of the process, and it gets easier over time, but it doesn't help in the moment I know.

I'm glad you're talking about it. When I feel bad, the last thing I want to do is tell anyone about it, but it does help a little bit.

It's an emotional rollercoaster at first and I still have days when I want to scream. We're so used to running from our feelings instead of asking "what is this trying to tell me?" I've been sober a year and feel like I'm just starting to accept and work with my emotions, instead of freaking out over them. I tryto say "I'm bored" or "I'm really irritable" - so what? It doesn't help to get mad about being mad....... Take a break, take a walk, give yourself some space to be angry.

I'm still learning to be patient with this stuff - it's a process and it doesn't come overnight like we wish it would. But we're headed in the right direction, ya know?

BeenDown2Times

Love y'alls stories and I'm only a week behind you FNC. Day 10 off of oxys and Day 8 of total sobriety (after 3 1/2 years oxy, 17yrs benzos, 25yrs heavy drinking, plus everything else along the way) I had the bright idea of drinking to numb the pain of oxy withdrawal and ended up with alcohol posoining.

Most of my muscle soreness is gone now but I still get the chills from time to time and I'm having wicked nightmares. And my anxiety level is stratospheric.

And after reading SgtFC's motivational words I almost feel like going to the gym again.

Stay strong gentlemen.

BeenDown2Times

Wait that was bad English-- I didn't have alcohol poisoning today. That was last week. I was just trying to explain in my cryptic way that total sobriety is the only way to kick the percs and oxys.

Booze is like oxy's thug henchman. Keep the S.O.B. away from you.

FNB3

Told the wife this morning...

I'm a little less angry and crazy now.

I could tell she was really hurt. She will be really angry later. She doesn't know IT'S ALL ABOUT ME and I dont feel like explaining.

Don't know what good it did telling her. I haven't felt this bad in a long, long time. Nobody said it was going to be all downhill and in quitting I was prepared for the consequences. Got to take it like a man here.