I Am Powerless..
 

I have finally realized this! After a month and half of meetings and church groups. As I left my meeting last night and drove to the liquor store, trying to convince myself that i am "not" an alcoholic and at least im not doing dope.
Its gross, my attemps seem pointless and I feel like a failure. You would think after the horrible things I have done to my family while being intoxicated I would learn...But, I haven't. I just needed to vent I guess. Im not very social and have a hard time speaking in meetings. Thank you for reading. :)

I had a hard time controlling my drinking. I stop trying to control it and start dealing with my problems and my actions so I don't use alcohol to avoid life. Life gets easier and more joyful if you confront your problems head on.

Good luck.

It took me over a year and a half of being in AA, then relapsing last Sunday night to fully realize I am an alcoholic. Sitting in the parking lot of the liquor store for 15 minutes crying and not knowing what I was doing, then going through with it was total insanity...THEN drinking and realizing, the more drunk I got, the more I wanted to drink. Powerless & insanity. I get it now!!! :)

Good luck to you!

Welcome loganswife - I felt so low when I came to grips with my drinking, but so thankful I did so that I could stop the madness. I was just making myself depressed and anxious and then trying to get rid of it by doing the very thing that got me there.

Congrats on quitting the dope and facing your problem. We're all here to support you!:ghug3

Welcome loginswife...I sure know how you feel. But you can stop now -we are here for you.

Welcome. I was drawn to your post title: "I am powerless."

In AA, what that means is that you can't stop drinking. That you have lost all power, choice and control.

The problem with admitting powerlessness truly-- to your innermost self-- is that you need to find power elsewhere. It's just plain logic.

Trying to understand what triggers your drinking is, for me, wasted time. It will always get triggered, unless you are able to find a power greater than you that can solve your problem.

That's what the 12 steps of AA are for.