Hi, I'm new. :)
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Count me in the hanging in bars early on" is really
a bad idea crew.....
Why not make it a special Mom and kids night instead?
Pop corn...a silly movie....bubble baths before bed.
Welcome to our recovery community...
all my best to the 4 of you
a bad idea crew.....
Why not make it a special Mom and kids night instead?
Pop corn...a silly movie....bubble baths before bed.
Welcome to our recovery community...
all my best to the 4 of you
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Originally Posted by Francismcan 
Women are a natural when it comes to recovery.
.
.
Alcohol is not just an addiction for many but a way of life. For me, it was a 30 year way of life. It WAS my whole life.
It is hard to slice the alcohol from your life when you are in an environment that expects you to drink and have fun.
Personally, I'd stay out of that picture for awhile -untill you are comfortable with the idea that you even quit. I'm sure your husband would understand.
And Welcome...glad you are here!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
Welcome,
I found the concept of not having to drink anymore, far easier than trying to handle the drink.
Since having had a shift in the way I view what alcohol does to me after the first drink, then accept that I am powerless to change that affect, (it's physical, the craving to drink more after the first drink, the mental means the obsession to have a drink for what ever reason, and the spiritual, meaning who and what we become, we realize that we have become poweless over what alcohol does to us. That is why the glances are exchanged, it's what happens and we try to deny it, or try to not let it happen.
Well, don't let it happen by not picking up.
I hope and pray you go to a few AA meetings, in particular the "Big Book" study groups, AA 12 Step workshops and at least, at the very least try to have a go what "Powerless over alcohol" actually is, to be precise, what is Poweless. The "Big Book" of AA has a chapter on it called "The Doctors Opinion", it is there to begin to understand the physical aspect of what alcohol does to some of us and not others.
This line you wrote, is what many of us identify with, so you are not alone.
Once you put the drink down,then learn to handle sobriety amongst other drinkers, those glances will turn into loving smiles and hopefully support from all your friends and family.
I been just over 3 years sober, and these things are just starting to happen, not at once,it's slow, but stable.
I found the concept of not having to drink anymore, far easier than trying to handle the drink.
Since having had a shift in the way I view what alcohol does to me after the first drink, then accept that I am powerless to change that affect, (it's physical, the craving to drink more after the first drink, the mental means the obsession to have a drink for what ever reason, and the spiritual, meaning who and what we become, we realize that we have become poweless over what alcohol does to us. That is why the glances are exchanged, it's what happens and we try to deny it, or try to not let it happen.
Well, don't let it happen by not picking up.
I hope and pray you go to a few AA meetings, in particular the "Big Book" study groups, AA 12 Step workshops and at least, at the very least try to have a go what "Powerless over alcohol" actually is, to be precise, what is Poweless. The "Big Book" of AA has a chapter on it called "The Doctors Opinion", it is there to begin to understand the physical aspect of what alcohol does to some of us and not others.
This line you wrote, is what many of us identify with, so you are not alone.
They exchange glances at each other when they think I'm too out of it to notice... but I do.
I been just over 3 years sober, and these things are just starting to happen, not at once,it's slow, but stable.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 41
I just found this site after being sober for almost 2 years and then relapsing for a few months after I thought I could "handle" my booze. No deal. So on Monday I threw away the shot glass and am now 4 days sober and I feel great, although admittedly I caught my "other" self earlier today trying to reason with my other self that I could have one more night of "fun" and then quit tomorrow. Well, thankfully, the self on my left shoulder (the one with the halo) won out, and I am determined to keep it that way.
Strawberryashes, you'll find yourself in the same situation a few times, wrastling [sic] yourself, and when you do, try to remember how great you feel when you're not smashed or hungover. And don't worry about what anyone else thinks, because being sober is a fantastic club to belong to. It's a group of people who, for whatever reason, have this additional battle to fight. We should be proud to ask for water or soda when everyone else is getting drunk, because we know what evil lurks there for us, and when we can say "no thank you," especially under pressure, you should feel proud of yourself. But as other posters have said, since it appears that you are early in your recovery, you might want to take a break from the bar scene, perhaps for a month at least. Your husband is sure to understand. Or just show up when he plays and then head right out. Do whatever you need to do to say sober for the first 30 days. It gets so much easier after that. And while I myself did relapse, I learned quite alot from it. And so I wish us - and everyone else here - courage and strength. Together, we can stay sober for as long as we want. - Harpo
Strawberryashes, you'll find yourself in the same situation a few times, wrastling [sic] yourself, and when you do, try to remember how great you feel when you're not smashed or hungover. And don't worry about what anyone else thinks, because being sober is a fantastic club to belong to. It's a group of people who, for whatever reason, have this additional battle to fight. We should be proud to ask for water or soda when everyone else is getting drunk, because we know what evil lurks there for us, and when we can say "no thank you," especially under pressure, you should feel proud of yourself. But as other posters have said, since it appears that you are early in your recovery, you might want to take a break from the bar scene, perhaps for a month at least. Your husband is sure to understand. Or just show up when he plays and then head right out. Do whatever you need to do to say sober for the first 30 days. It gets so much easier after that. And while I myself did relapse, I learned quite alot from it. And so I wish us - and everyone else here - courage and strength. Together, we can stay sober for as long as we want. - Harpo
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 184
Hi. I'm new, too. I just want to say that just because you see "so many people" out there who "have fun" with alcohol and don't throw up in their hair or get carried out of clubs... just because they appear "functionional" does NOT mean they are not alcoholics.
I'm 5'5" and weigh 130 lbs.... and I can hold my own with the best of them. Highly functional. Don't puke. Don't pass out. Still walk and talk and blah, blah, blah...... Doesn't matter. I know I have a problem. I think we all "know" when we have a problem. It's accepting it that is so darn hard. Without acceptance there can be no resolve.
I'm glad you are here. I'm glad I'm here, too. :-)
I'm 5'5" and weigh 130 lbs.... and I can hold my own with the best of them. Highly functional. Don't puke. Don't pass out. Still walk and talk and blah, blah, blah...... Doesn't matter. I know I have a problem. I think we all "know" when we have a problem. It's accepting it that is so darn hard. Without acceptance there can be no resolve.
I'm glad you are here. I'm glad I'm here, too. :-)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi and welcome!
I did a ton of negative association exercises when I first quit which helped me get through an alcohol heavy long weekend with only 7 days sober. By the end of that weekend I couldn't stand the smell of alcohol and still can't. It wasn't easy but it was doable.
Welcome again!
I did a ton of negative association exercises when I first quit which helped me get through an alcohol heavy long weekend with only 7 days sober. By the end of that weekend I couldn't stand the smell of alcohol and still can't. It wasn't easy but it was doable.
Welcome again!
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