Today is a new start
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 7
Today is a new start
Hi everyone.
Today I admitted to myself that have a big problem with alcohol. It is very hard for me to admit to and I have admitted it to my darling husband, who had tried broaching it with me for a long time now. He has been very supportive.
I know I can't drink again, I have no control over it and who I become when I do drink. My life has been spiralling out of control and I hate who I have become. Sadly I watched my Mum die from alcoholism when I was 15, oddly that didn't stop me getting to this stage. However, I do want to stop things now before they get too bad.
I just needed to write down how I am feeling. Thank you.
Today I admitted to myself that have a big problem with alcohol. It is very hard for me to admit to and I have admitted it to my darling husband, who had tried broaching it with me for a long time now. He has been very supportive.
I know I can't drink again, I have no control over it and who I become when I do drink. My life has been spiralling out of control and I hate who I have become. Sadly I watched my Mum die from alcoholism when I was 15, oddly that didn't stop me getting to this stage. However, I do want to stop things now before they get too bad.
I just needed to write down how I am feeling. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 811
That is the horrible thing. Nobody to talk to. I think about all the stupid stuff and places I've hid and forgotten where I hid alcohol and risks I have taken. If I told my friends about it, they would be appalled. I drink way more than any of them, but they don't know that. So we are not normal and its a fight, but we gotta do it. I haven't given up the drinking yet, and was going to make Easter Sunday my day, but i think I am going to start today instead. I honestly can say that I don't want to drink, but the little devil shows up on my shoulder about 4:00. So we'll see what happens! Hang in there!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 7
My friends do know I drink more than them, but not how much and like you say, about hiding bottles. If they knew how often I was ill and how early I started drinking they wouldn't understand. I do sadly have a "rep" as a big drinker though and it was partly someone telling me last night that I always seem to be drunk that frightened me.
When I told my husband today he was very relieved that I had realised it and said he would stand by me, but that things were getting tough for him. I feel awful for letting him down so badly. I am determined to change for him and our children.
Today sounds like a good day to stop - you can do it, we can together
When I told my husband today he was very relieved that I had realised it and said he would stand by me, but that things were getting tough for him. I feel awful for letting him down so badly. I am determined to change for him and our children.
Today sounds like a good day to stop - you can do it, we can together
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 400
Welcome goingtodoit! Keep reading and posting here. There is so much info. and help for people who really want to quit drinking. I'm new here too.
Eclipse, do it today. That voice enters my head most afternoons (I'm only at day 5) and I am learning how to speak against it and rule over it with all the reasons I've decided to quit drinking. You can do it.
Eclipse, do it today. That voice enters my head most afternoons (I'm only at day 5) and I am learning how to speak against it and rule over it with all the reasons I've decided to quit drinking. You can do it.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
It takes courage to reach out for help (way to go!)......
None of us can do this on our own (ever notice how far willpower has gotten you?!)..... I made so many promises to myself to drink differently but the end results were usually the same.
Just focus on getting through today - it's great that you have a husband who is supporting you and now you have lots of new friends on this forum who know exactly what you're going through and are going through the same thing.
Hang in there and keep posting/reading!:ghug3
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 7
The thought is going through my head now......normally I'd start cooking dinner with a fresh bottle of wine and it would be gone by the time dinner was finished, an hour later. I have asked my husband to cook dinner tonight.
Its hard admitting I have a problem and being an emotional wreck about it and not having the drink which would take the edge of the emotions, for a short time anyway. Until I then got drunk and hated myself for failing and becoming that person.....
The only answer is to stop.
Good to hear you are on day 5, Sarah1414. A day at a time yes?
Its hard admitting I have a problem and being an emotional wreck about it and not having the drink which would take the edge of the emotions, for a short time anyway. Until I then got drunk and hated myself for failing and becoming that person.....
The only answer is to stop.
Good to hear you are on day 5, Sarah1414. A day at a time yes?
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 392
Good for you realizing it! Keep reading the posts. You will see soooo much of yourself in each of the posters. You can do it!
Never thought I would ever admit to myself that I was an alcoholic after 25 years of drinking.....I 'JUST' did 22 days ago. Been sober for 21. You can do it too. Sick and tired or being sick and tired
Never thought I would ever admit to myself that I was an alcoholic after 25 years of drinking.....I 'JUST' did 22 days ago. Been sober for 21. You can do it too. Sick and tired or being sick and tired
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 87
Same here
Originally Posted by goingtodoit 
The thought is going through my head now......normally I'd start cooking dinner with a fresh bottle of wine and it would be gone by the time dinner was finished, an hour later. I have asked my husband to cook dinner tonight.
Its hard admitting I have a problem and being an emotional wreck about it and not having the drink which would take the edge of the emotions, for a short time anyway. Until I then got drunk and hated myself for failing and becoming that person.....
The only answer is to stop.
Good to hear you are on day 5, Sarah1414. A day at a time yes?
Its hard admitting I have a problem and being an emotional wreck about it and not having the drink which would take the edge of the emotions, for a short time anyway. Until I then got drunk and hated myself for failing and becoming that person.....
The only answer is to stop.
Good to hear you are on day 5, Sarah1414. A day at a time yes?
if you can believe this I asked my wife to cook today because I'm on my 2nd day and when I cook I love to drink. I actually start before i get home with a pint of vodka to " get ahead" so she doesnt realize when I have the 3 glasses of wine i'm already buzzed big time but she cant see it because im good at it. but im done! last night i had the sweats, tossing, weird dreams, the whole works but i know it will get better! i did stop for a year a few years back but then it got worse, pretty much everyday and very functional during the day but im starting the feel ill and not even working out like i used to, cant focus, in the past year i did stop a few times for like 7 days and felt great so I would be like a few drinks will not hurt. Big mistake those few turn to 8 very quickly and then it starts again every day. glad your here and i will be every day. you can do this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 7
Thank you everyone for your support. It is comforting to know so many others have gone through and are going through the same thing. I am already going to face a struggle this evening as I have to go to the gym and my drinking friends will be at the bar there afterwards.....perhaps I should not go to the gym.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,413
Weclome goingtodoit ... so happy to hear that you are choosing to live your life sober -- it is so worth it.
As for the gym/bar scene, I would opt-out. Find something different to do, hot bath, read if you enjoy it, walk, read posts on this site, post to this site. Don't do what you would normally do, because it will trigger you to want to drink. It is wonderful that your husband is cooking, mine did the same when I detox, it was more so, because I felt like crap and he took care of me, etc. It is important to have his support, it will make the transition so much easier.
I wish you the very best. If you are like me, you will LOVE being sober.
As for the gym/bar scene, I would opt-out. Find something different to do, hot bath, read if you enjoy it, walk, read posts on this site, post to this site. Don't do what you would normally do, because it will trigger you to want to drink. It is wonderful that your husband is cooking, mine did the same when I detox, it was more so, because I felt like crap and he took care of me, etc. It is important to have his support, it will make the transition so much easier.
I wish you the very best. If you are like me, you will LOVE being sober.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
Welcome to SR! Now you have someone to talk to. I have found so much support here. I come here when I feel weak, when I have stupid questions, and importantly, when I feel like I'm winning and want to share. It seems sharing is very important.
If you make yourself a schedule to check in on, that might be helpful. I am on here every morning and every evening. So, for instance, if my husband and I are going out at night, I check in here beforehand then I'm armed against myself.
Looking forward to seeing lots of you.
If you make yourself a schedule to check in on, that might be helpful. I am on here every morning and every evening. So, for instance, if my husband and I are going out at night, I check in here beforehand then I'm armed against myself.
Looking forward to seeing lots of you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 7
Well so far so good today! By this time I would normally have drunk nearly a bottle of wine before my husband got in. He is trying to understand things at the moment and I sense a few emotional weeks. It has hard to admit to myself when, having seen my mother die and neglect me for the sake of alcohol, I swore I'd never become her. I will not become her though - I am going to stop this cycle before it does ruin my family altogether.
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