Where to begin?
Dazed and confused
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 14
Where to begin?
I met an amazing woman about 6 months ago. She told me she was bi-polar, had PTSD, and was a recovering alcoholic. She was strong, honest and warm. I fell in love with her almost immediately.
Last month, after years of sobriety, she relapsed. Twice. Her bi-polar conditions had her cycling and she quickly went from manic to very, very depressed. And when depressed, she felt suicidal and figured she might as well drink.
2 weeks ago she surprised me by breaking up with me. She told me I was a horrible person. Then she told me she loved me but didn't want to be with me romantically. Then she said she broke up because I had lost interest.
My long story comes down to this: I know she is hurting and I can't help her. I am hurting as she suddenly pushed me away. What advice would anyone give me to help her? To help myself?
Thanks in advance. Seems like this site is a great resource.
Last month, after years of sobriety, she relapsed. Twice. Her bi-polar conditions had her cycling and she quickly went from manic to very, very depressed. And when depressed, she felt suicidal and figured she might as well drink.
2 weeks ago she surprised me by breaking up with me. She told me I was a horrible person. Then she told me she loved me but didn't want to be with me romantically. Then she said she broke up because I had lost interest.
My long story comes down to this: I know she is hurting and I can't help her. I am hurting as she suddenly pushed me away. What advice would anyone give me to help her? To help myself?
Thanks in advance. Seems like this site is a great resource.
Welcome to SR! There is a lot of wisdom and support here. You might want to post this in our Friends and Family of Alcoholics Forum. You'll get a lot of response there.
Here's the link...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/
Here's the link...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
If she is bipolar then she has a chemical imbalance in her brain. You need to get her medication balanced out and she will come out of it. I have a friend who is bipolar and if she gets sick with diarrhea or something to that effect, her lithium is not absorbed into her system and she gets manic. She'll start smoking cigarettes and other unusual behaviors for her, but once she gets her medication corrected then she is back to her old self.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
It's my experience and observation that you can not
manage anyone's medication or recovery.
I agree....the Friends and Family Forum is the best place
for support as you deal with this situation.
Sorry to know she did return to drinking.
Hope she will soon quit again....
Welcome to SR
manage anyone's medication or recovery.
I agree....the Friends and Family Forum is the best place
for support as you deal with this situation.
Sorry to know she did return to drinking.
Hope she will soon quit again....
Welcome to SR
Dazed and confused
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 14
Thanks to everyone for the thoughtful responses. I agree with much of your wisdom.
I am not contacting her right now so she can focus on herself. I am also going to focus on myself and am going to try and understand why I "jumped in" with her so wholeheartedly in the beginning. She was trying to be honest about her condition and I didn't do enough to educate myself about the risks.
Again, thank you everyone for providing me with a bit of strength!
I am not contacting her right now so she can focus on herself. I am also going to focus on myself and am going to try and understand why I "jumped in" with her so wholeheartedly in the beginning. She was trying to be honest about her condition and I didn't do enough to educate myself about the risks.
Again, thank you everyone for providing me with a bit of strength!
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