hoping2quit

txred, last night was rough on me but feel better today, going to the gym after work. stay busy and the alkie voice will stay away. the more i am on here the more i realize what an idot i have been for the past 2 years! Keep up the sober mind and great things are going to happen

ozgoddess

Hey tx

Glad to see you are doing well. Please don't feel you need to compare your addiction to others, it's all relative and it is how it affects you, that is what matters. Also what matters is that you have recognised it is an issue before you lose more than you are prepared to lose.

I am proud of you and look forward to chatting to you again in chat soon. Take care.

txred76

TGIF! I am glad this week is almost over. It has been crazy at work and Im exhausted. Had a tough evening. My brain would not quit hollering at me for some beer. Kept nagging at me and trying to make all sorts of excuses. I got online and played games until waayyy late. It kept my mind busy and before long it was too late to go anyway so i survived it. The weekend is gonna be hard for me cuz ill be home. Part of me is glad it is Easter weekend cuz hopefully ill be busy getting everything ready. Im praying i dont give in. I have made it this far just really really tired from not sleeping the last 2 nights. I think the hardest is the anxious feeling in my stomache that comes on about 5:30 in the evening and lasts for a while. Im hoping that goes away soon. I feel like im getting a cold or something. just all over ickyness. dont know how to describe it.
Thanks oz for the support and checking on me. I know this too shall pass and I promise to try and get on chat again soon. I enjoyed visiting with you guys.
Time to get ready for work no good friday holiday for me. Got tons to get done today before the weekend. Hope everyone has a wonderful sober Easter weekend.

Reset

Yeah I remember that 5:30 feeling. That's about when I'd start drinking every day and when I first quit my mind would always start reminding me around that time, "time for a drink!" I just tried to ride it out for a few hours and usually it'd go away after dinner.

If you push through for a few more days it WILL get better. The weekend can be a trouble spot. I would recommend you think about how you're going to make it through the first one.

Good luck and good job so far!

Crow3000

Yea, tapering sounds horrible. It really is a good idea to get help from the doc just in case. Keep Posting, your in for one interesting ride.

txred76

I had such a crazy busy weekend which is a good thing considering but by last night I was exhausted and burnt out and found myself struggling hardcore. Wanting some beer badly to just be able to sit down and unwind with and I didnt have any and I have to admit I sat on my bed and cried. Im not sure if i was grieving the not having beer or because i was mad at myself that all it takes is some craziness in my life to make me want to turn to the beer or if it was just pure exhaustion from it all but after I had a good cry and watched the funny movie father of the bride I finally fell asleep and am back at it again this am feeling a little better this morning. I can make it i know i can. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming swimming swimming. LOL HOpe all had a wonderful easter.

nogard

Hey red, I hear you, those early days can be very tough especially if we are alone. Do you have any face to face support?

Kevin

txred76

No on my own in that area. Trying very hard 2 b strong. Haven't given in today so that's another day I've survived. Thanks 4 checkin on me Kev.

nogard

hi red,

here is a link to some of the recovery programs available:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I spent 19 years doing it on my own, went completey nuts but was a very succesful in the commercial world, did not use in all that time but in the end I relapsed and blew everything and these days I recognise I cant do this alone.

I come here go to NA meetings, do what I need to do on a daily basis to keep clean keep relatively sane and to learn how to live.

Point is I cant do it alone and I have not met anyone who can so far.

Of course keep posting here too

Kevin

txred76

Thnx friend. I'll check it out.

nogard

Great

Lipitor

A simple question from the bloke with no social filter from down under......

Would you rather your 3 kids sit in an aa meeting , because ive been to lots of them where kids are present , they sit up the back and colour in . One group in Sydney has a couple of people that babysit kids while the parents are in the meeting .

So ,, back to the question... Would you rather your three kids sit in an AA meeting or the three of them see you hospitalised, sick, alienated, lose interest in them, violent, forget birthdays , the list goes on , and on and , from alcohol before they are 21 ..???


I picked the second option....All the things I mentioned,, My three daughters "saw", It is only now , very slowly , they are in their 20s that Im building it back.


Do whatever you can NOW. What are you ? 37 years old ? God , If I had got here at 37 instead of 49 what a blessing that would have been.


All the best , Keep hanging in , keep strong , talk to whoever you can . Reset and Reggiewayne are wise people as is Emeraldrose, tyler and Dee74. I have learned alot from them . Read their posts.

L

txred76

U have a good point friend but um I'm only 34. No adding years 2 us women. Lol thank God they have never had 2 c any of that and I intend 2 keep it that way! They r my life and I will do whatever I can 2 keep it that way. They r good boys. All r on the honor roll and r super good boys. They r first in my life before anything else and that is what found my way here. Alcohol was creeping it's way in 2 more importance and I refuse 2 let that happen.

txred76

Here I am again sitting here reading through posts on here after getting my boys off 2 school and fixing to head to work myself. I find myself trying to wallow in self pity when I have so much to be thankful for. Sometimes I just want to smack myself right in the head. I feel really poopy today. Total exhaustion like I am trying to get the flu or something. Wondering why i am feeling icky now since my last drink was last week and I was sure I would feel this way right after stopping. I wonder if this is what makes people pick the drink back up? I am taking it one day at a time and yesterday I didnt drink and with prayer and strength Im not going to today either. Keep me in your prayers new friends as I keep you in mine. I am grateful for finding this site even if I spend most of my time reading or whining to myself on here most of the time right now. I am hoping that gets better too. Well I must go to work now I suppose. Have a great day all.

topspin

[QUOTE=txred76;2948022] I feel really poopy today. Total exhaustion like I am trying to get the flu or something. Wondering why i am feeling icky now since my last drink was last week and I was sure I would feel this way right after stopping.


TX red, I can't tell you just how many times I've heard of this very thing happening here. Must be our bodies (and minds) trying everything under the sun to jump back in the cycle. !? You hang in there,





I am taking it one day at a time and yesterday I didnt drink and with prayer and strength Im not going to today either. Keep me in your prayers new friends as I keep you in mine. I am grateful for finding this site even if I spend most of my time reading or whining to myself on here most of the time right now. I am hoping that gets better too. Well I must go to work now I suppose. Have a great day all.[/QUOTE]

You've got a great attitude !


Keep on , ....keepin' us posted

EmeraldRose

Thanx for the compliment Lipitor but I'm not that smart. Just smart enough to know what NOT to do.

txred, I am happy that you boys are doing well. BUT that doesn't mean they don't have worries and fears like everyone else. Some kids handle it differently.
My daughter (18) is educationally gifted but that doesn't mean that we have a long row to hoe after all the damage I've done over her lifetime.
She came home for lunch yesterday and we actually sat and had a 'real' conversation without blame, complaining, whining or guilt.

Not sure how old your boys are but you might be surprised how much they really know. Don't shut them out because then their heads will explode when they are older with all the thoughts and feelings they didn't know how to process. Talking with them and helping them understand is far better than trying to hide. Believe me, I speak from experience...I have 3 older boys (over 20) that need to have a chat with mom about mom's progress.

Feeling poopy is part of the process...real life is 'felt' different sober! Hope you have a great day!

txred76

Thnx guys for the support. I'm hanging in there. Only have a minute, so busy at work right now worked late last night and going in early as soon as I get the boys off 2 school. I'm exhausted but yay 4 overtime. Lol at least staying busy I'm not sitting around thinking and feeling sorry for myself.

So what about this royal wedding stuff? Totally crazy! Wonder how many ppl will get up at 4 am here in the states 2 watch it. Funny.

Have a great day all new friends.

Ranger

Thanks for checking in,Red. Glad your getting some OT at time that is particularly advantageous to your finances AND sobriety!

My sis-in-law is attending a watch party but it starts at noon.