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First Post I don't really know what to say here, except I'M TIRED OF LIVING THIS WAY. I'm having a really hard time with all this. I don't know what step to take or where to go. I'm a very shy person when it comes to going to something like AA. I don't know how to go about it so I found this site. I don't think I need treatment, but I do think I need support. I've been looking at the aa schedule here in town for months now.... how do I make myself take that step??? |
Welcome shell77, you will find lots of support and information here. Just keep coming back posting and reading, this site has been a life saver for me. |
Hang in there!!! hi well you came to a great place...someone on here with more experience than me will post soon i am sure...just know that you are not alone....i wanted to say that at least so you feel a bit less shy and welcomed to a wonderful "recovery tool" that i have def. found very informative and helpful :chior |
Thank you! I believe this is a step in the right directions. |
Hi and Welcome! There is lots of support here, and you have taken the first step by coming here and posting. Good for you, and know that you can do this! |
Originally Posted by shell77
(Post 2938897)
.... how do I make myself take that step?? One thing to keep in mind, shell77, is that the recovered alcoholics in AA have been waiting for you. We've been standing by the door for years just waiting for you to show up so that we could share with you the solution we have found to our shared problem. |
Welcome! Shell! You start by saying you don't want to go to AA and then that you want to know how to take that first step. Well, you took the first step by coming here. That is a huge step. You survived it right? You did not blow up and your computer did not start flashing "alcoholic alert!" over and over with an alarm going off and a big red arrow pointing at you right? Of course not! You don't have a recovery plan yet. I started my sobriety by checking myself into a VA hospital for detox and rehab. Living at rehab was not for me, I have a great family and home of my own, health care, and a determination that this would be the only time I go through the recovery effort, so I checked out after two days living there. I joined AA going twice weekly to a great small group that were all long time sober, some for decades, for the first three months of my sobriety. I also stayed here in SR daily. I am 58 and with the amazed support of my two grown sons, both of whom said that I was not an alcoholic but then accepted it, and my Significant Harasssment of 39 years, who still drinks and smokes as a normal person, and having my two pups to play with and take for long walks, with a little help from the man upstairs I seem to have made it. We have seen many folks that take a looong time to realize that if they do what they did over and over that did not work for them before, doing the same thing again and expecting it to work is insanity. You asked at the end how to overcome your hesitance and go to an AA meeting. Ok here's the secret. It is like joining a gym. You don't lose weight unless you go. ;) Just pick one meeting and go. You do not have to say anything. If asked just tell them the truth, that you are new to this n ot ready to say anything yet. Then go to another three or four meetings in your first week. Then decide which one made you feel more comfortable and pick that one as your home group. I can tell you that at first there were severla groups that I could not attend or feel comfortable attending. Now I could get something out of all of them. Just go and then post back your impressions here. You will find they don't bite, and are just like you. Just remember to take what you can use and leave the rest. Sopme take it all and stay sober by attending AA meetings all week long and for years and if that works for them then great! Some like me go for a few months and get the feedback that we are experiencing what everyone else did or at least another did and it is normal. I would not have made it without that wonderful group. I just went back yesterday to let them know I was great and did not relapse, and to thank them for being there for my successful recovery. OK now here is where you come in. You have to make a recovery plan and stick to it. You have to admit to your family and friends that you are in recovery if not now then soon to get their support or at worst to get them to not try to get you drinking again. I would advise you to get your doctor or a doctor in on it immediately. Then he or she will know what you need from them. And they can refer you to the support systems for recovery in your town. Some other options are professional counseling one on one and group. Home or in hospital detox to be sure you don't have acute withdrawal problems like seizures etc. Talk the options over with a doc. There are also rehab systems both live in which wasn't for me, and outpatient. I chose outpatient. If you have friends that are not alcoholics themselves you can enlist their support as well. But you can't hide that you are quit. It will be obvious to your old drinking partners friends or aquaitances, your family, and your spouse if you have one. I believe that local face to face support is essential. For some that is a friend or family member and that is enough. Worried that you will be talked about? Haven't seen that happen yet, and don't care myself. No, I am not one of those reformed drunks that tell everyone they meet that they are saved and drinkers are damned or some such. I simply say when asked that I don't drink as a matter of choice, but you go ahead it isn't an issue for me. It isn't. You see for me privately, I know that one drink is slow suicide that was speeding up, and I am no longer suicidally drinking. So what are you going to do different this time. And what is your recovery plan after you check out AA and decide if it is for you or not? Quitting is easy, I did it a million times for a few minutes or hours. Recovery takes a bit more effort but can work. For each the recovery plan is different. You will recover too, if you want to, and are willing to get the tools. You have already made a terrific first step. Remember also that a recovery plan is common to all that recover. My way isn't the right way, just my way. Your plan will vary. Just remember. "It" doesn't get better, "you" get better. I sincerely wish you a safe and speedy recovery. I also look forward to your future posts here and supporting you here. |
Originally Posted by keithj
(Post 2938948)
There are quite a few similar posts that come up like this. How do I face that fear and anxiety of reaching out and asking for help? One thing to keep in mind, shell77, is that the recovered alcoholics in AA have been waiting for you. We've been standing by the door for years just waiting for you to show up so that we could share with you the solution we have found to our shared problem. anyways your message and other aa members messages didn't go unoticed by this addict/alcoholic thank you |
Originally Posted by Itchy
(Post 2938974)
Shell! You start by saying you don't want to go to AA and then that you want to know how to take that first step. Well, you took the first step by coming here. That is a huge step. You survived it right? You did not blow up and your computer did not flashing "alcoholic alert!" over and over with an alarm going off and a big red arrow pointing at you right? Of course not! You don't have a recovery plan yet. I started my sobriety by checking myself into a VA hospital for detox and rehab. Living at rehab was not for me, I have a great family and home of my own, health care, and a determination that this would be the only time I go through the quitting effort, so I checked out after two days living there. I joined AA going twice weekly to a great small group that were all long time sober, some for decades, for the first three months of my sobriety. I also stayed here in SR daily. I am 58 and with the amazed support of my two grown sons, both of which said that I was not an alcoholic but had to accept it, and my Significant Harasssment of 39 years, who still drinks and smokes as a normal person, and having my two pups to play with and take for long walks, with a little help from the man upsatirs I seem to have made it. We have seen many folks that take a looong time to realize that if they do what they did over and over that did not work for them, doing the same thing again and expecting it to work is insanity. You asked at the end how to overcome your hesitance and go to an AA meeting. Ok here's the secret. It is like joining a gym. You don't lose weight unless you go. ;) Just pick one and go. You do not have to say anything. If asked just tell them the truth, that you are new to this and a bit afraid to say anything yet. Then go to another three or four meetings in your first week. Then decide which one made you feel more comfortable and pick that one as your home group. I can tell you that at first there were severla groups that I could not attend or feel comfortable attending. Now I could get something out of all of them. Just go and then post back your impressions here. You will find they don't bite, and are just like you. Just remember to take what you can use and leave the rest. Sopme take it all and stay sober by attending AA meetings all week long and for years and if that works for them then great! Some like me go for a few months and get the feedback that we are experiencing what everyone else did or at least another did and it is normal. I would not have made it without that wonderful group. I just went back yesterday to let them know I was great and did not relapse, and to thank them for being there for my successful recovery. OK now here is where you come in. You have to make a recovery plan and stick to it. You have to admit to your family and friends that you are in recovery if not now then soon to get their support or at worst to get them to not try to get you drinking again. I would advise you to get your doctor or a doctor in on it immediately. Then he or she will know what you need from them. And they can refer you to the support systems for recovery in your town. Some other options are professional counseling one on one and group. Home or in hospital detox to be sure you don't have acute withdrawal problems like seizures etc. Talk the options over with a doc. There are also rehab systems both live in which wasn't for me, and outpatient. I chose outpatient. If you have friends that are not alcoholics themselves you can enlist their support as well. But you can't hide that you are quit. It will be obvious to your old drinking partners friends or aquaitances, your family, and your spouse if you have one. I firmly believe that local face to face support is essential. Worried that you will be talked about? Haven't seen that happen yet, and don't care myself. No, I am not one of those reformed drunks that tell everyone they meet that they are saved and drinkers are damned or some such. I simply say when asked that I don't drink as a matter of choice, but you go ahead it isn't an issue for me. It isn't. You see for me privately, I know that one drink is slow suicide that was speeding up, and I am no longer suicidally drinking. So what are you going to do different this time. And what is your recovery plan after you check out AA and decide if it is for you or not? Quitting is easy, I did it a million times for a few minutes or hours. Recovery takes a bit more effort but works. For each the recovery plan is different. You will recover too, if you want to, and are willing to get the tools. YOu have already made a terrific first step. Remember also that a recovery plan is common to all that recover. My way isn't the right way, just my way. Your plan will vary. Just remember my saying. "It" doesn't get better, "you" get better. |
Originally Posted by shell77
(Post 2938897)
I've been looking at the aa schedule here in town for months now.... how do I make myself take that step??? Looking back, the nice part about that meeting is that I never have to walk through those AA doors for the first time, ever again. Try it out, just for today. You won't regret it, I promise. Zube |
Originally Posted by keithj
(Post 2938948)
There are quite a few similar posts that come up like this. How do I face that fear and anxiety of reaching out and asking for help? One thing to keep in mind, shell77, is that the recovered alcoholics in AA have been waiting for you. We've been standing by the door for years just waiting for you to show up so that we could share with you the solution we have found to our shared problem. |
the recovered alcoholics in AA have been waiting for you. We've been standing by the door for years just waiting for you to show up so that we could share with you the solution we have found to our shared problem. And they are tired of hearing their own stories over and over. They need new life. That is what keeps AA working, the revoling efforts of support. Someone helped them, they help you, you help someone else one day...and on it goes... Glad you found us here and posted. Huge step to recovery. Hopefully, you'll find the strength within to enter the iron gates of AA. But its ok if you don't -people can recover without it. But I can't! :a122: |
Good for you shell....... (and welcome to the forum!). There are plenty of people that don't talk much in meetings and always a few who do. I'm the kind of person that is mortified to speak in front of people, and after a few times going to AA I found myself talking..... I felt that comfortable. I think it was because so many of their stories and struggles were just like mine! Just try it..... you really don't have anything to lose and maybe much to gain! Hope you'll let us know how it goes.:c011: |
Welcome Shell :) D |
Shell Well, how did the meeting work out?:scoregood |
Hi Shell- Great job posting on here and asking for help. There is power in the asking. What's the next step? Kjell~ |
First of all, welcome. For a while I tried looking for AA meetings that fit my schedule but none really did. So I quit anyway. I think coming here is a great first step and the next step is getting your mind fully committed to quitting. Good luck! |
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