Second DUI and Going to Treatment
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 521
Second DUI and Going to Treatment
Funny how.. just last week I was talking to my husband telling him I wanted to check out some impatient facilities to see if they might be helpful to me. And, funny how.. when I went out on Monday and had one drink.. that my back tire blew and I slammed into a poll and funny.. how I tried to get the car home.. but, it wouldn't make it.. then of course is when the cops showed up.
Lucky I nor anyone else was hurt.
What I didn't know is that if you refuse roadside soberity tests you get a free pass to go directly to jail don't pass go and don't collect 200.00 dollars.
With that being said I was charged with my second DUI even though if I would have taken the stupid tests I would have passed. I am still so pissed at myself for that.
So, now here I am... trying to hold it together... trying not to think of myself as the biggest loser on the planet... trying not to really consider the fact that this is a good thing... and maybe it is. I just don't know how the else to see it right now.
But, it has given me conviction that I need to get clean and stay clean. So, if this is what it has taken.. so be it. I am super stressed... I want to cry and kick and scream... but, I know it won't do any good. I want to know that I am not a horrible person... but, I can not fell that way now. For some reason I have no compassion for myself right now.
Anyway, I have found a treatment facility and I am checking myself in on Monday. I am hopeful that this will work. It has to. I don't have anything left to lose... well yes I do.. my job, my house, my husband. I guess I still have alot ot hold on to.
Anyway, please light a candle for me.
Regards,
Saliena
Lucky I nor anyone else was hurt.
What I didn't know is that if you refuse roadside soberity tests you get a free pass to go directly to jail don't pass go and don't collect 200.00 dollars.
With that being said I was charged with my second DUI even though if I would have taken the stupid tests I would have passed. I am still so pissed at myself for that.
So, now here I am... trying to hold it together... trying not to think of myself as the biggest loser on the planet... trying not to really consider the fact that this is a good thing... and maybe it is. I just don't know how the else to see it right now.
But, it has given me conviction that I need to get clean and stay clean. So, if this is what it has taken.. so be it. I am super stressed... I want to cry and kick and scream... but, I know it won't do any good. I want to know that I am not a horrible person... but, I can not fell that way now. For some reason I have no compassion for myself right now.
Anyway, I have found a treatment facility and I am checking myself in on Monday. I am hopeful that this will work. It has to. I don't have anything left to lose... well yes I do.. my job, my house, my husband. I guess I still have alot ot hold on to.
Anyway, please light a candle for me.
Regards,
Saliena
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Best wishes to you Saliena! Your taking the right measures to assure this never happens again. The past is past, time to make a new future for yourself. You should be proud of yourself for getting help. I wish you the best!
:ghug3
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
I will think of you..hope you can check in and let us know how you are doing. Right before I quit..this was my fear. I walked on alot of nights..but I also drove on some. Not proud of that. I wish you absolute sobriety! Glad no one got hurt.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
I had a few wake up calls too, and that matters. But they did eventually do a sobriety test, didn't they? If you blew over your state's limit, then you would blown that on site. I think they do that regardless once they get you out of the car, so don't kick yourself. The roadside BAC is inadmissible, but the results of it get you to jail anyway.
I want to be careful here. I do not condone drunk driving. I spent my entire life watching over my three daughters as they moved from place to place on dangerous roads. We've been lucky so far. But I also know that one of the main features of alcoholism is this deep pervading guilt. I don't think that guilt supercedes basic jurisprudence.
Being an alcoholic means you need help and you need to be terribly responsible. You need to be vigilant. You cannot give in to the gnawing temptation to fall helplessly into a bottle (obviously channeling my own problems here).
But it does not automatically make you guilty. If you are not legally guilty, you aren't.
We feel so guilty. I have spent evenings alone with my husband drinking at home and woke up the next morning feeling like I had been plucking the hearts out of kittens and barbecuing them. That's part of the syndrome.
Get help. Don't kick yourself. It will pass.
I want to be careful here. I do not condone drunk driving. I spent my entire life watching over my three daughters as they moved from place to place on dangerous roads. We've been lucky so far. But I also know that one of the main features of alcoholism is this deep pervading guilt. I don't think that guilt supercedes basic jurisprudence.
Being an alcoholic means you need help and you need to be terribly responsible. You need to be vigilant. You cannot give in to the gnawing temptation to fall helplessly into a bottle (obviously channeling my own problems here).
But it does not automatically make you guilty. If you are not legally guilty, you aren't.
We feel so guilty. I have spent evenings alone with my husband drinking at home and woke up the next morning feeling like I had been plucking the hearts out of kittens and barbecuing them. That's part of the syndrome.
Get help. Don't kick yourself. It will pass.
Keep us updated if possible. Take care of yourself and really throw yourself into your recovery!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: ft. lauderdale florida
Posts: 275
Glad that was all you hit and not some innocent family. Your not a bad person just do the work and stop drinking. You are very blessed that is that happened. I am VERY happy your getting help and that you are not resisting.
Keep coming back here!
Keep coming back here!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Treatment will help you have compassion for yourself again. I'm sorry all this had to happen, but I think it's wonderful that you going to treatment. Look at it as an investment in a happy future.
Hang in there - things will get better, Saliena.....
Hang in there - things will get better, Saliena.....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 456
Good Luck, Saliena.
If you can take these feelings of guilt and remorse with you to treatment you it may actually work even better. I knew I didn't want to go through that hell again - My experience is similar to yours. Congrats on getting into a program. I look forward to hearing how it went and how you feel.
If you can take these feelings of guilt and remorse with you to treatment you it may actually work even better. I knew I didn't want to go through that hell again - My experience is similar to yours. Congrats on getting into a program. I look forward to hearing how it went and how you feel.
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