Drinking in moderation
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 15
Drinking in moderation
I stumbled on this site a couple of weeks ago....and what a difference this site has made to my life!!
Firstly, let me say that I still haven't given up drinking entirely. I still drink on weekends and still battle with not drinking too much. I know in my heart that the only way for me is total abstinence and I believe that I am getting there. When the urge gets really strong during the week to go out and buy a bottle of wine I read some of your posts and they give me strength.
The difference just a couple of weeks of drinking in moderation has made to my life is enormous. I am not dealing with such terrible anxiety and panic attacks every day and terrible hangovers. Also the terrible guilt about what I said or did the previous evening no longer haunt me. When I look in the mirror I see a brighter eyed less bloated face. My "wine belly" is disappearing fast. All the more reason for me to give up drinking entirely as I am a vain woman who until the past couple of years always took pride in my appearance.
I realise that this is still the beginning and I have no illusions that I still have a long road ahead of me, but I am thankful for the help that this site has provided.
Firstly, let me say that I still haven't given up drinking entirely. I still drink on weekends and still battle with not drinking too much. I know in my heart that the only way for me is total abstinence and I believe that I am getting there. When the urge gets really strong during the week to go out and buy a bottle of wine I read some of your posts and they give me strength.
The difference just a couple of weeks of drinking in moderation has made to my life is enormous. I am not dealing with such terrible anxiety and panic attacks every day and terrible hangovers. Also the terrible guilt about what I said or did the previous evening no longer haunt me. When I look in the mirror I see a brighter eyed less bloated face. My "wine belly" is disappearing fast. All the more reason for me to give up drinking entirely as I am a vain woman who until the past couple of years always took pride in my appearance.
I realise that this is still the beginning and I have no illusions that I still have a long road ahead of me, but I am thankful for the help that this site has provided.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Star, ID
Posts: 5
Day one for me Chris. I'll bet my vodka belly beats your wine belly. Been drinking for 30 years and after several attempts @ moderation it just got progressively worse.
Can totally relate to the 'what did I say the night before' regrets. What recently made me decide to try and quit again was that I had to wake up in the morning and check my sent email folder to make sure I didn't fire off some drunken email to a friend (done that many times before).
I wish you the best!
Can totally relate to the 'what did I say the night before' regrets. What recently made me decide to try and quit again was that I had to wake up in the morning and check my sent email folder to make sure I didn't fire off some drunken email to a friend (done that many times before).
I wish you the best!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
Day Six is a very good day. Hang in there. Get a few more days. Then you'll want to keep going. I'm losing weight too! I just walked down a long hall at work and felt so lithe cause I'm not bloated. My face looks normal. Keep track of the days and don't give up.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 228
Well, you may want to prepare yourself for a bombardment of replies saying that you'll need to quit entirely, but I'm sure you're already aware of this. When I quit drinking I didn't even consider moderation, but I don't think I really had a choice, either. Of course, drinking in moderation is what most normal folks do, but most of us here aren't able to sustain a normal drinking pattern for any extended period of time. If we could, I think I can safely say that we wouldn't be considered alcoholics. Good luck, and I wish the very best to you!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 1,061
I tried moderation many times and each time it lead me back to the same amount (if not more) of drinking. I wish I was "normal" and could enjoy a drink now and then like most people but have also realized drinking is not worth my health, family or job. Once I became aware that booze was going to cost me all these things I decided to be happy with my "abnormal" self and abolish alcohol from my life for good.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 53
chris, I understand what you are going through. I was doing pretty good at moderation until I wasn't.
I got my wake up call in the middle of the night on Sunday - literally. I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't remember if I had fed my family. I spent hours that day preparing a much loved meal for my family. I was a little bit like Julia Child - cooking with wine, a little bit of it even got in the food. Most of it went in my glass.
I still don't know what it is that I am doing - do I have a problem with alcohol that I can control or am I out of control and need to stop completely? I don't have the answer now, but I owe it to myself and my family to consider this honestly and without alcohol to cloud my judgement.
I have not had a drink since Sunday. I will make it throughout the weekend without taking a drink. I will give myself some exercises to do over the weekend to explore the reasons why I drink and the negative impacts it has had on my life.
You have the answer. You probably already know the answer. Are you ready to approach it honestly and with commitment? Reading others stories here help me to explore this question. Most of what I've read here about moderation and those who have tried it fail many times before deciding to stop. But it's something they must explore on their own before they can see the truth they already knew.
I got my wake up call in the middle of the night on Sunday - literally. I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't remember if I had fed my family. I spent hours that day preparing a much loved meal for my family. I was a little bit like Julia Child - cooking with wine, a little bit of it even got in the food. Most of it went in my glass.
I still don't know what it is that I am doing - do I have a problem with alcohol that I can control or am I out of control and need to stop completely? I don't have the answer now, but I owe it to myself and my family to consider this honestly and without alcohol to cloud my judgement.
I have not had a drink since Sunday. I will make it throughout the weekend without taking a drink. I will give myself some exercises to do over the weekend to explore the reasons why I drink and the negative impacts it has had on my life.
You have the answer. You probably already know the answer. Are you ready to approach it honestly and with commitment? Reading others stories here help me to explore this question. Most of what I've read here about moderation and those who have tried it fail many times before deciding to stop. But it's something they must explore on their own before they can see the truth they already knew.
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Welcome to SR, Chris 
I can so relate to what you wrote. I used to work extremely long weeks, and the promise of several bottles of wine on Friday night was what kept me going. I was a slave.
Honestly, the sheer relief of quitting for good has given me a new life. Though recovery can be demanding, the rewards are priceless. Compare that to the "rewards" of getting plastered.
Since quitting, my anxiety is totally under control. Life has become enjoyable. I feel free,
Please keep us posted, there's lots of support for you here
I can so relate to what you wrote. I used to work extremely long weeks, and the promise of several bottles of wine on Friday night was what kept me going. I was a slave.
Honestly, the sheer relief of quitting for good has given me a new life. Though recovery can be demanding, the rewards are priceless. Compare that to the "rewards" of getting plastered.
Since quitting, my anxiety is totally under control. Life has become enjoyable. I feel free,
Please keep us posted, there's lots of support for you here
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 72
chris, I think it's great that moderation is helping you!! I "moderated" for close to 10 years before taking the plunge to complete sobriety almost 6 weeks ago. I still wonder if, at some point in the distant future, I might be able to think about having a glass of wine again- but for now the thought makes me feel like a complete basket case, which leaves little doubt that it's not a good idea. I kind of wish I'd found a site like this a long time ago, because for a long time I felt very alone in my struggles with alcohol, and it's only been through the fellowship I've found here on SR that I've really been able to consider elminating alcohol from my life.
Something departure said really resonates with me:
I still don't know what it is that I am doing - do I have a problem with alcohol that I can control or am I out of control and need to stop completely? I don't have the answer now, but I owe it to myself and my family to consider this honestly and without alcohol to cloud my judgement.
That's pretty much exactly how I felt when I first came to SR, and I guess I'm probably still working through all the implications of it, but I'm doing it sober and I'm feeling good about that decision.
I wish you the best as you continue your journey!
Something departure said really resonates with me:
I still don't know what it is that I am doing - do I have a problem with alcohol that I can control or am I out of control and need to stop completely? I don't have the answer now, but I owe it to myself and my family to consider this honestly and without alcohol to cloud my judgement.
That's pretty much exactly how I felt when I first came to SR, and I guess I'm probably still working through all the implications of it, but I'm doing it sober and I'm feeling good about that decision.
I wish you the best as you continue your journey!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I wish you the best Chris - just don't waste 20 years on it if it's not working for you, like I did
My experience is I was unhappy drunk, and I was unhappy moderating.
I'm not unhappy now
D
My experience is I was unhappy drunk, and I was unhappy moderating.
I'm not unhappy now
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Hanford CA
Posts: 14
Chris...... I heard and been told that moderate drinking is better than no drinking. Maybe for some people but not for me. I drink to get drunk every time. Its hard to stop drinking but with the support of everyone it makes it easier. Myself I been sober for almalmost years now... you have us here for support.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
One time I was trying to lose weight ..found a diet that allowed
2 glasses of wine a day...Wow! no problem....
I found the largest wine glasses possible
not only did I stay pudgy I stayed high.....
Hope everyone finds their way...sobriety is simply super
2 glasses of wine a day...Wow! no problem....
I found the largest wine glasses possible
not only did I stay pudgy I stayed high.....
Hope everyone finds their way...sobriety is simply super
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,894
Originally Posted by Mld 
Chris...... I heard and been told that moderate drinking is better than no drinking.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: PA
Posts: 130
seriously..more power to ya with the moderation thinga majiggy...if i did anything in moderation i surly would have gained 100+ pounds in my months of sobriety....i just can't seem to do anything just a little....i am larger than life....in active addiction, in my eating habbits...everything...that is a big problem....
Don't feel too bad Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
My problem with moderation is the 'thought process'. The constant wondering when do I stop -what is too much? How do I know I'm moderating my drinking just because I'm drinking 'less'? I'm still drinking.
Its that constant nagging in the back of your head saying that as long as you are drinking (less) you are not breaking the alcoholic rules. Where is that line of crossing over to being a full blown alcoholic, when you are not drinking as much -and how long can I make it last...worrying about drinking, worrying about just drinking enough to moderate. I still have to buy the booze, I still have to drink the booze, I'm still drinking almost daily -even if I chose what day. Chances are, more often than not, I will wake up with a headache and more booze drank than I planned.
It was easier for me, after many years of failing attempts to just quit. Now I don't have to worry about it. Its over!!
Its that constant nagging in the back of your head saying that as long as you are drinking (less) you are not breaking the alcoholic rules. Where is that line of crossing over to being a full blown alcoholic, when you are not drinking as much -and how long can I make it last...worrying about drinking, worrying about just drinking enough to moderate. I still have to buy the booze, I still have to drink the booze, I'm still drinking almost daily -even if I chose what day. Chances are, more often than not, I will wake up with a headache and more booze drank than I planned.
It was easier for me, after many years of failing attempts to just quit. Now I don't have to worry about it. Its over!!
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