CoF1984

Hopefully this will keep newcomers one their toes in their journey so that they
don't have to learn like me. But here after 2 years 2 months and one week of sobriety, I sit with four count 'em four 5th's of Brandy and feel so completely ashamed and alone of what I am doing. Especially considering I have know idea how to face my chosen prorgram of recovery (which for me is AA, may work for some but not all) and absolutely know idea what to do. I will probably check on here tomorrow to see if anything was posted and hopefully someone with more time than I had can guide me along the right path to getting back on track. I am sorry if this post is wrong and I shouldn't have posted.

Wes L.

Dee74

Hi Wes

I'm sorry to hear that mate - but I know you know what to do.
If AA's your thing, get back to it - don't wait.

If there's anything we alcoholics understand it's how hard this is, and how slipperty the road can be sometimes.

Forget about shame or pride - plug yourself into your support, wes.

D

CoF1984

Thanks Dee...you're right

recoverywfaith

Been there Wes...you do not have to go back...throw out the booze and start now for a new life, your worth it!!!

CoF1984

Thanks Recovery...another good point

LaFemme

Hey Cof...hugs...I'm so sorry you are where you are. I hope you pour it down the sink.

Do you have any idea what happened? Maybe it will help you or someone else if you can see why.

Sending you thoughts and prayers for sobriety and happiness.

CarolD

The quicker you stop drinking ..the easier it will be...
same deal with AA....when is the next meeting?
welcome back Wes

Ghostly

Hey...just get back there! You know what ya got to do. You did great with all that sober time, now get back to it.

OklaBH

You're awesome to come back and ask for help.

stanleyhouse

I would pour it down the sink. No matter what happened it is not worth the physical pain and death drinking will bring. I would concentrate on all the good things that happened during recovery and really remember what it's like not to have alcohol in your life.
sh

Stride34

Thanks for sharing, Cof. Whether you realize it or not these posts really help other people, by realizing how serious this really is. we can't let our guard down especially as time passes and we think we have it licked and will never drink again.

With all that sobriety time, I think you know what you need to do to get back on the wagon. In fact, you've already taken a huge step by coming forward like this. Nice job...hope all works out for you

EmeraldRose

Hi Wes...Tomorrows a new day!

tallcactus

I know totally how you feel.
Had over 5 years myself and thought that I could control my drinking and went on a two day binge, but will soon have two years again in July.
We can't drink, we are alcoholics and have no control.
Nothing ever good comes from alcohol. Those feeling of shame and remorse are the worst.
Don't beat yourself up, move on.

ItWillBeWorthIt

Hugs Wes... I have 7 years and thought I could have one.

Dust yourself off and stop right away... if you continue for awhile it will be harder to stop.

You haven't failed... that 2 years is sober time and it counts -- learn from it and identify why you decide to pick up and address it. It makes our recover stronger. I know this time around I have identified reasons for picking up and continuing and have found some voids in my world and small changes I need to make... and it is making all the difference this time around.

Hope you are doing better today... please check in.

Fandy

your amount of sobriety time is admirable....and you have the tools and correct thought process...something happened to put you in this position...figure out what it is and learn how to deal with it.

for me it can be anything i've found, a commercial on TV, reading a thought on SR, it makes for an irrational trigger.....my brain skips along and then falls flat and i want a drink....I think the big mystery is to figure out why.

hope today is a better day for you.

keithj

CoF1984,

AA's program of recovery is simple. Take the 12 Steps following the directions in the BB and recover. Stay in the actions and stay recovered. I've seen it work for every single person that really throws themselves into it. A sponsor who has had a spiritual awakening as the result of taking the Steps is essential.

michelle01

This is what support sites and groups are here for, don't be afraid to confide in someone about what's happened, and work this out with a sponsor. I know it's not always easy, but don't think that you've 'failed' AA and can't ever go back. The people there, and we know, what this illness is like. We don't always have to keep up a 'good front', that shouldn't be what recovery is about.

aasharon90

Stick with the winners and help those who
still suffer. Share your own experiences,
strengths and hopes with others who will
follow you. They will want to know what
it was like before during and after alcohol.

You've got the knowledge of recovery, now
you apply it to your everyday life.

This slip will be added to your story of hope
for all those you share your story with.

My soul purpose in life is to help the newcomer
because it helps me stay sober one more day
and it can for you.

Suit up and show up with Willingness and Open-
mindedness. Plug in Honesty and the key will
unlock the door to a world of happiness, joy
and freedom that you've never known before.