cantakeit

Hi. 1st. post of mine states 9 yrs. 4 mths. shot, drinking, and that is true. I'am laying it all on the line now in hopes I can go the rest of my life addiction/use free. Drugs. Yes I did. It started w/ beer at 13- 47 minus the 9-4 booze and 10 yrs. w/o drugs. progressed into drugs, easier to say, everything but heroin/ no needles. I had a few scares but not enough to stop. Broke a few bones actually my legs 3x between the two with a rod from my knee to ankle to hold one together all directly related to abuse, fight, beer run, car wreck still not enough. Jail aprox. 25x nope not enough. No prison but it had been brought up by several judges and got my attention but not for long. Last drug used was crack aprox. 10 yrs. ago. I exposed myself to very bad people capable of very bad things. Had multiple guns pointed at my head and a knife on my throat. I kept good paying jobs for yrs. and had all the $$ i needed to keep things going. I have been wearing the abuse and problems i had like some crazy badge of honor, look what i have been through and still alive. Stupid. I could have gone to see my daughter today at her new apt. but after i got done working i wanted to have a beer, very sad. lived in PHX. & MT. also and i remember everything.

Dee74

thanks for sharing more of your story, cantakeit.
I spent a lot of time wearing my chequered history like a flag too.

I'm glad I finally left all that behind where it belongs.
To me the most important day we have is today

D

EmeraldRose

Thanx for sharing cantakeit. :ghug3
I'm glad you found this site so you have a place to vent. I know it helps me.

Latte

Thank you for sharing your story.

Keep coming back.

CarolD

Glad you shared a bit more....

I repeat Ken...part of my other post to you

Please don't let this drinking episode go on for long...
Use that long sobriety as a base and begin re building.
.

cantakeit

I will. The second time around I will be unstoppable. In the meantime I still need to get yrs. of &$%^# out of my system. Thanks for putting up with me.

Hevyn

I'm glad you trusted us with your story. Most of us have similar things in our backgrounds. I never did drugs, but I did some shameful things while drunk. At some point you just have to leave it all behind and reach for a new life without all that baggage weighing you down.

I found that the more I shared on here, the lighter my burden was. I had no one in my daily life to talk to, and the people here helped me get through some dark days. Finally I had the strength to stop for good. I no longer felt alone. You can do it, too - I know you're ready for a new beginning.

cantakeit

I'am very ready for a new start. I think I will shift my profession slightly. I'am good at building and can hold my own w/ elec. and plumbing So I was thinking solar panel install or takeing some welding classes. I can weld o.k. but classes would be fun and keep me busy. Just a thought.