My mind is willing...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 21
Hi Nancy,
Thanks for sharing, and I've done my fair share of bummer posts. We need them! What are the rough spots that you mean, if you don't mind?
I become overwhelmed with the mere idea of not being to get completely drunk, ever again, and just forget everything, even for one night. Finding healthy ways to get through the torment in my brain, that at times seems endless and too painful to work through, has been one of the hardest parts for me.
Thanks for sharing, and I've done my fair share of bummer posts. We need them! What are the rough spots that you mean, if you don't mind?
I become overwhelmed with the mere idea of not being to get completely drunk, ever again, and just forget everything, even for one night. Finding healthy ways to get through the torment in my brain, that at times seems endless and too painful to work through, has been one of the hardest parts for me.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 331
Nancy, Don't ever give up, I believe in you 
As long as you are willing, there is a way. And however hard it may seem to get there, the first step is easy, sort of, or maybe not at all omg I have the same struggle, but we need to take this first step, are you ready?
Let's do this!!!
As long as you are willing, there is a way. And however hard it may seem to get there, the first step is easy, sort of, or maybe not at all omg I have the same struggle, but we need to take this first step, are you ready?Let's do this!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: NYC/NJ
Posts: 431
Recovery isn't something that can be achieved mentally. It's the opposite- it's surrendering, relinquishing the mind, and giving up the struggle of control. The more you think, the more you're in your own head, the more you suffer.
I'm not saying you shouldn't be smart and use your head. But use it productively to figure out what needs to be done to get out of this mess. 99% of thoughts are racing, unproductive thoughts that are either negative feelings of the past, or fear towards the future. When we drink or drug, it's to remove these feelings that feel real, but in reality are just a product of the mind, and not really our true nature.
You know deep within you that drinking isn't working for you, right? So, anything thats stopping you from getting sober is this unconscious struggle that you've yet to awaken and surrender to.
I'm not saying you shouldn't be smart and use your head. But use it productively to figure out what needs to be done to get out of this mess. 99% of thoughts are racing, unproductive thoughts that are either negative feelings of the past, or fear towards the future. When we drink or drug, it's to remove these feelings that feel real, but in reality are just a product of the mind, and not really our true nature.
You know deep within you that drinking isn't working for you, right? So, anything thats stopping you from getting sober is this unconscious struggle that you've yet to awaken and surrender to.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 104
hmmm... well today's rough spots are...
1) feeling guilty about not having enough money to pay the bills
2) wishing the man I love loved me back
3) totally not living up to the impressions/expectations other people have of me
1) feeling guilty about not having enough money to pay the bills
2) wishing the man I love loved me back
3) totally not living up to the impressions/expectations other people have of me
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I think it's really a positive thing that you posted, nancy. Don't think you're the only one having trouble.......
I don't know how long you've been drinking, but most of us spent years battling and giving up to the urges. I wonder sometimes how many thoughts have been about alcohol in my life. Probably tens of thousands at least. It takes time to make new pathways in our head.
Your soul is not tainted - it's just been covered over with addiction. They don't call this disease "cunning, baffling and powerful" for nothing!
Focus on the new day and give yourself a hug.......
I don't know how long you've been drinking, but most of us spent years battling and giving up to the urges. I wonder sometimes how many thoughts have been about alcohol in my life. Probably tens of thousands at least. It takes time to make new pathways in our head.
Your soul is not tainted - it's just been covered over with addiction. They don't call this disease "cunning, baffling and powerful" for nothing!
Focus on the new day and give yourself a hug.......
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: NYC/NJ
Posts: 431
Originally Posted by nancyj 
hmmm... well today's rough spots are...
1) feeling guilty about not having enough money to pay the bills
2) wishing the man I love loved me back
3) totally not living up to the impressions/expectations other people have of me
1) feeling guilty about not having enough money to pay the bills
2) wishing the man I love loved me back
3) totally not living up to the impressions/expectations other people have of me
look within, quiet the mind. you don't need anyone's approval, you don't need alcohol. when you experience this, you realize that though maybe not perfect, you accept everything and everyone as is. if you can't pay your bills, figure out what you can do to be able to pay them. feeling guilty about it is normal but it's not healthy or productive
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 21
Thanks Nancy.
The only thing I can ever remind myself of is, that when I sober up all of those rough spots will still be there, probably even worse... I tend to repeat that over and over.
So
1.) Depending on how you drink, it can be cheap or expensive, but regardless, not drinking at all means some money is saved, right
2.) Love can just suck and hearts take time to heal.. no magic cure for that one, but the bottle still won't make him love you- it will however make you feel worse about yourself.
3.) Living up to other people's expectations is impossible, as is controlling their impressions of you. I'm a people pleaser, and this one eats at me constantly. You need to feel good about you. You won't if you drink. It will continue to feed these negativity images, and create more anxiety about what others might think.
Keep posting. Everytime you want to grab a drink, read a post or write a post. I rented Little Fockers last night- good flick, and makes you laugh, which always helps.
I'm thinking of you, and you CAN do this. The rough spots will get easier with time and much easier with sobriety.
The only thing I can ever remind myself of is, that when I sober up all of those rough spots will still be there, probably even worse... I tend to repeat that over and over.
So
1.) Depending on how you drink, it can be cheap or expensive, but regardless, not drinking at all means some money is saved, right
2.) Love can just suck and hearts take time to heal.. no magic cure for that one, but the bottle still won't make him love you- it will however make you feel worse about yourself.
3.) Living up to other people's expectations is impossible, as is controlling their impressions of you. I'm a people pleaser, and this one eats at me constantly. You need to feel good about you. You won't if you drink. It will continue to feed these negativity images, and create more anxiety about what others might think.
Keep posting. Everytime you want to grab a drink, read a post or write a post. I rented Little Fockers last night- good flick, and makes you laugh, which always helps.
I'm thinking of you, and you CAN do this. The rough spots will get easier with time and much easier with sobriety.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Nancy, I thank you for the post. It helps remind me of where I once was & can't ever go back to. I remember so well feeling just the way you are now. It kept me on hold for many years.
We think we're helping ourselves get over rough times by numbing our feelings. When what we really need is to face up to things with a clear head, and take action where we can. When I had tragedy to face I always increased my booze intake - therefore never truly dealing with anything. Later, I had no choice but to handle things in a sober state - but I had made everything so much harder on myself by sucking down all that poison.
Your mind is willing, and you know that living sober is better. That means you will eventually get to where you want to be. Let it be soon, so you can enjoy your new life with eyes wide open, filled with hope & not dread.
We think we're helping ourselves get over rough times by numbing our feelings. When what we really need is to face up to things with a clear head, and take action where we can. When I had tragedy to face I always increased my booze intake - therefore never truly dealing with anything. Later, I had no choice but to handle things in a sober state - but I had made everything so much harder on myself by sucking down all that poison.
Your mind is willing, and you know that living sober is better. That means you will eventually get to where you want to be. Let it be soon, so you can enjoy your new life with eyes wide open, filled with hope & not dread.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Some great advice here Nancy.
It took me twenty years to get that drinking wasn't dealing with stuff - it was running away.
If I wanted my life to get better I had to keep moving forward - not pulling off to the side of the road like I used to.
You're not alone - you have a lot of support here - are you using any other support as well?
D
It took me twenty years to get that drinking wasn't dealing with stuff - it was running away.
If I wanted my life to get better I had to keep moving forward - not pulling off to the side of the road like I used to.
You're not alone - you have a lot of support here - are you using any other support as well?
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Hi Nancy..the other week I had kind of a miserable weekend. Things seem to build up. But I've come to the realization that what seems bad sober is usually worse when drunk. By not drinking I have changed my thought process about things in general. I know if I continue on the safe path things will change and everything will get better. I'm alittle over 70 days and I still have moments of this awesome clarity. All of a sudden I have a breakthrough of reality and its hard to explain. I know its my inner power still breaking out showing me what I can have if I'm patient with myself.
Be patient things do change and before you know it bills will be paid and you can prove to others through your actions that you are better than ever.
Thinking about you and wishing you well.
Be patient things do change and before you know it bills will be paid and you can prove to others through your actions that you are better than ever.
Thinking about you and wishing you well.
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