Finally Sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1
Finally Sober
Wow it's been 6 months since my last drink. I've been drinking since I was 14. I've blacked out so many times and woken up in strange places, but I kept drinking. I partied hard in college, but always justified it by maintaining my grades. Nobody tells you to stop when you're getting high marks. In truth, I wish someone would have told me to slow down. To see that I was suffering on the inside. Must have pissed off so many people and worried even more. I drink because I'm nervous and feel stressed. But the drinking feeds back and makes me even worse.
I don't think I've ever just had one beer. For me there is no casual drinking. It's a sport. I drink to get drunk. i don't care what it tastes like, if it has booze, I'm drinking it.
Then I started using hard drugs whenever I drank. I even overdosed in front of a group of people, but still I didn't stop. I had so many friends(out of convenience?) that partied with me but I never felt so alone.
I started grad school, but had to leave because I was drunk, anxious and felt so alone. That was 6 months ago.
It's been a strange 6 months. I live a quiet life away from the bars and liquor stores. I spend most weekends alone. The funny thing is that I feel way less lonely than I did before. I finally feel that i have control over my life.
It's hard making sober friends without the pretense of being sober. I'm sure I'll make some eventually. I've been to some bars to see old friends, but the dynamics have changed when I'm not drinking. It's become awkward since I used to be the most drunk person in the room. But my true friends are happy for me. They still invite me out and that's all that matters to me.
I just wanted to share my story. It feels good to rant. Thank you.
Today, I'm sober. I feel good. I feel good about myself, and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. It's been a long time since I've been able to say that. I hope to be well enough to return to school in the fall.
I don't think I've ever just had one beer. For me there is no casual drinking. It's a sport. I drink to get drunk. i don't care what it tastes like, if it has booze, I'm drinking it.
Then I started using hard drugs whenever I drank. I even overdosed in front of a group of people, but still I didn't stop. I had so many friends(out of convenience?) that partied with me but I never felt so alone.
I started grad school, but had to leave because I was drunk, anxious and felt so alone. That was 6 months ago.
It's been a strange 6 months. I live a quiet life away from the bars and liquor stores. I spend most weekends alone. The funny thing is that I feel way less lonely than I did before. I finally feel that i have control over my life.
It's hard making sober friends without the pretense of being sober. I'm sure I'll make some eventually. I've been to some bars to see old friends, but the dynamics have changed when I'm not drinking. It's become awkward since I used to be the most drunk person in the room. But my true friends are happy for me. They still invite me out and that's all that matters to me.
I just wanted to share my story. It feels good to rant. Thank you.
Today, I'm sober. I feel good. I feel good about myself, and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. It's been a long time since I've been able to say that. I hope to be well enough to return to school in the fall.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
6 months...good for you.
I feel the same about about 'feeling' lonely. There is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. I prefer to be alone! LOL Less stress that way. My friends are now in AA. I like it that way.
Congratulations...and glad you are here.
I feel the same about about 'feeling' lonely. There is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. I prefer to be alone! LOL Less stress that way. My friends are now in AA. I like it that way.
Congratulations...and glad you are here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 64
Congrats on 6 months! That is awesome ! Keep it up and I can relate to feeling out of place , not just one ....whether with friends or on business travel...but your story inspires...rather have the freedom of being sober
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hey skate - welcome to the forum and congratulations on your sobriety!
I could relate to so many of the things you said, like feeling alone and miserable inside, but keeping up all appearances of success...... it's a hard part to play!
Life isn't easy, but alcohol sure can make it even harder. Look forward to seeing you around the forum!
I could relate to so many of the things you said, like feeling alone and miserable inside, but keeping up all appearances of success...... it's a hard part to play!
Life isn't easy, but alcohol sure can make it even harder. Look forward to seeing you around the forum!
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