a_long_period_of_reconstruction
i've done my almost
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
a_long_period_of_reconstruction
…and there will be a long period of reconstruction.
Boy o boy is this true with me.
I certainly made a mess of my life. My wake up call, my “bottom” happened over the course of two years - 2008 – 2009, but I crossed the line of alcoholism way before then.
I was broken up with (again), fired from a career of 11 years seniority, had to move b/c of financial reasons, got a dui and totaled my truck (2 months from being paid off), then got another dui crashing into two other cars 10 months later and that was finally the breaking point. I had enough.
I had become a sporadic black out drunk who would drive with no thought. At that point I was totally and completely out of control and a slave to alcohol. I was pathetic and dangerous.
Two months into my sobriety, my dad died a slow death from cancer at the age of 54, then a few months later my cousin died, then in October of 2010 I was sentenced for the 2nd dui and went to jail. I stayed sober.
Since then, my life is basically working to “right” my life. It’s mostly filled with probation requirements, working out and running, AA meetings and activities, and learning how to be social again, but without alcohol.
I’ve been blessed to have been employed this entire time and even though I've been unable to drive, I've never been without.
My point in all of this is there truly has been a long period of reconstruction and there is still much to reconstruct, but I'm not wishing any of this time away. I'm using it, learning from it, becoming stronger.
Just when I think I’m turning the corner, there is more to do and I feel the weight and worry, but b/c of AA and being a part of SR, I can see the beauty in my work and I can feel a difference.
There has been a shift in my attitude and perception.
The world has continued to revolve around the sun, even though I got sober.
It’s me that’s changed. I was my problem the whole time.
I’m no longer confused about myself, or you, or life in general.
What’s next?
Kjell~
Boy o boy is this true with me.
I certainly made a mess of my life. My wake up call, my “bottom” happened over the course of two years - 2008 – 2009, but I crossed the line of alcoholism way before then.
I was broken up with (again), fired from a career of 11 years seniority, had to move b/c of financial reasons, got a dui and totaled my truck (2 months from being paid off), then got another dui crashing into two other cars 10 months later and that was finally the breaking point. I had enough.
I had become a sporadic black out drunk who would drive with no thought. At that point I was totally and completely out of control and a slave to alcohol. I was pathetic and dangerous.
Two months into my sobriety, my dad died a slow death from cancer at the age of 54, then a few months later my cousin died, then in October of 2010 I was sentenced for the 2nd dui and went to jail. I stayed sober.
Since then, my life is basically working to “right” my life. It’s mostly filled with probation requirements, working out and running, AA meetings and activities, and learning how to be social again, but without alcohol.
I’ve been blessed to have been employed this entire time and even though I've been unable to drive, I've never been without.
My point in all of this is there truly has been a long period of reconstruction and there is still much to reconstruct, but I'm not wishing any of this time away. I'm using it, learning from it, becoming stronger.
Just when I think I’m turning the corner, there is more to do and I feel the weight and worry, but b/c of AA and being a part of SR, I can see the beauty in my work and I can feel a difference.
There has been a shift in my attitude and perception.
The world has continued to revolve around the sun, even though I got sober.
It’s me that’s changed. I was my problem the whole time.
I’m no longer confused about myself, or you, or life in general.
What’s next?
Kjell~
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Yea! Your post is an inspiration.......
Life is filled with challenges, isn't it? I'm glad that we have a choice today to grow from them..... We can feel good about ourselves again, knowing that we're doing the best we can, one day at a time.
I'm not wishing any of this time away. I'm using it, learning from it, becoming stronger.
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Thanks for your post Kjell, and I'm glad to be on the journey with you.
Right now, dealing with all this probation and stuff...It just doesn't feel like things that an "adult" should have to do. Since I want to be an adult from now on, I think I'm going to avoid things that could lead to probation and/or jail. Like breaking the law.
Should have learned that lesson a long time ago, but like you said, I'll learn from this time and use it to make me stronger.
Right now, dealing with all this probation and stuff...It just doesn't feel like things that an "adult" should have to do. Since I want to be an adult from now on, I think I'm going to avoid things that could lead to probation and/or jail. Like breaking the law.
Should have learned that lesson a long time ago, but like you said, I'll learn from this time and use it to make me stronger.
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