SamUK24

hey guys, new here. Great to be on this forum.

Just to put a bit about my story.

To start off im not here to completely quit alcohol 100%, at some point in the future I will be ready to completely quit but as of now its more about cutting down until my life is back to a decent level (will explain later in the post)


I started drinking about 10 years ago (24 now, so at 14), nothing heavy, just the occasional can ever few weeks/months. When I got to the legal age of 18 I quit for a whole year (just didnt have the money).

After the year I quit I went back to drinking but its never been anything as bad as drinking everyday. A problem that soon became apparent in my life was "Social Anxiety".

I would admit with the SA that 1 of my ways to combat it previously was via drinking. It would help but then came the problem a few years back. When I got drunk at that time I would often vent my frustration of feeling insecure due to SA when im sober. Often it would cause arguments with people that care about me, doing stupid things, and basically digging myself a hole.


As the last year approached the penny dropped. I realised drinking is no way to combat SA, and going out to clubs needlessly every weekend was not helping my budget. I stopped going out and have not hit a nightclub since (apart from once, but that was a good friends birthday).


I then found new hobbys. The main hobby being history. Money was being spent wisely on visiting old historic locations. 1 thing that started happening was I wanted to "taste" the heritage aka real ales.


If im honest now, drinking real ales isnt problem drinking as such for me. I do genuinely want to taste the heritage of ales that were 1st brewed 100's of years ago. If I went into a pub which sells real ales and I had already tried the ales a different day I would simply walk back out and return another day only if they had something I havent tried before.

At the moment it is a hobby which could slowly get out of hand in the next year or 2. I almost think of ales like the Pokemon slogan "gotta catch em all".

At the moment there could be a few problems linked to this hobby. I dont go everyday, far from it. Usually at very most twice a week (sometimes 3 times)


Firstly if its my lucky day and a pub has more than 3 different "real ales" on tap that I havent tried before I will try them since often the range changes and I may never get a chance to try them again. This could greet the "tipsy" feeling. Meaning I could well be tempted to buy a bottle of cider on the way home since I know full well that if I dont drink anymore then im going to fall asleep at home as soon as I get back (bear in mind the average time I try the ales is 1pm, so its hardly practical going to bed at 3pm after I have finished).

The next problem is regarding gambling. I have had problems with it before but if im completely sober I can resist temptations. If im in the above situation however I am 90% more likely to slip and gamble (take today for example... I went to the pub, was saying to a mate how much I hate gambling and wont do it again. After 3 pints I craved a gamble, went on the fruit machine and lost £60, then my friend was in the same boat... but he put in and lost £100). Relating to that again I remember a while back I did the same, got home and used my mums bank card to deposit and lose £150.... Because of that I had to sell things that mean something to me to get her money back

Another problem that can occur (again relating to above) is I lose track of things. For example if my girlfriend is meant to be calling I will just forget and leave my phone unanswered.


I know my problem is not severe at the moment. I need to combat all sorts of things if I am to eventually quit.

Hopefully I can start a diary or something. My main goals at the moment would be to manage my money better, make sure I have at very most just 1 visit to the pub a week (and limit the amount there to 2 pints max so I dont get to the beyond tipsy stage), and of course avoid any forms of gambling.

draper

Perhaps you could talk to your doctor about the social anxiety?

The reason I say this is I have had bouts of this too, but never bothered to see a doctor about it until last year at the age of 38. I went to some counselling sessions that helped, but like you in my teenage years and early twenties I used alcohol as a social lubricant and was soon scared to be in any social setting sober. You don't want to leave it as late as I did. I have never drunk every day either, but used it as a crutch for social anxiety and depression.

I grew up in the UK and remember the CAMRA guide used to have a list of pubs. Don't know about the gambling.............after having my first cigarette and going to a 20 a day smoker and having my first drink and wanting five more I never tried any other vice that was offered.

Dee74

Welcome Sam

I'm not sure you're being entirely honest with yourself here.

I used to be a historian - but I never had to have a beer to 'taste the heritage' of a place tho.

I just wanted to drink...and I did drink every beer available to me - I didn't want to miss out either.

I also bought alcohol to continue the feeling at home - sometimes I wanted to stay awake, sometimes I wanted to go to sleep but curiously the remedy was the same.

I had a million reasons for drinking - but basically, Sam, I just liked drinking.

If drinking is causing you problems with gambling and make you miss things, or shirk responsibilities or make the judgement that using someone else's credit card is acceptable, I think you need to at least consider the possibility that you're in a little deeper than just a hobby Sam.

D

SamUK24

thanks for replying .

I think the doctors dont want to listen at all. Previously I went through depression a while back, it was really bad (maybe 2 years ago). I went through a lot of things (drastic harming), on 1 occasion a worried friend called the police and ambulance to my house. Friends could see I was going through depression, people kept saying I need to see the dr's. I went numerous times for them to say theres nothing wrong with me apart from a little bit of stress. I think what gave me even less faith in the NHS and police services was after I was violently assaulted at a club quite a few years back, I had done nothing wrong and as far as I was aware it was a case of mistaken identity, with the attackers thinking I was someone else. After having my clothes ripped, nose broken (and all sorts of other injurys) I was thrown out into the road by bouncers and left there until an ambulance on patrol saw me. When I was loaded into the ambulance they refused to radio the police in and were all too keen to discharge me even with concussion (passed out a few times the following day). Then finally when I went to police they took months to get back in touch to tell me theres nothing they can do.

But yea, back onto topic with the depression I mostly shook myself up, changed some bits of my lifestyle and got myself motivated out of the hole I was stuck in... Still get the odd blip now and again but I got no help and its put me off wasting my time seeing the dr.

Yea I got a few of them guides, im a CAMRA member . That also seems to combine my hobbys, like I love visiting new places. As a CAMRA member I get to go to all sorts of festivals and events in different towns quite cheap. Plenty of historic things there.

SamUK24

hmm I dunno,

I tend to think I have the potential to become more alcohol reliant than I am currently.

I always think back in victorian (and pre victorian) days the thing that was widely associated in most homes was beer, a lot of the time (especially in the country) more than half the residential houses were used to brew beer.

I do visit many breweries quite often, especially some of the oldest which use the same brewing gear (from mash tuns to fermenter's) they used when they first became established. Most of the time I dont even try the samples there (Sometimes I do buy a few bottles from the brewery to take home, but they arent consumed for weeks after)

Even have had a go at brewing my own.

The main cutting point to start with I think needs to be somehow to reduce that 3 pints in a visit to just 2, thus cutting out the tipsyness and decision to fall asleep or "stay awake" (with more drinks at home)

Dee74

I still love history but I stopped doing things that cause me harm.

If it is causing you harm, don't waste 20 years on it like I did.

Best of luck with your plan Sam
D