Gorpus

its been exactly a week since the last time i drank. i havent wanted to at all the whole week. tonight is the first night i even kind of feel like it. im just annoyed... this isnt fair. i just wanna be like a normal person who doesnt have to worry about stuff like this.
my roommate cooked dinner with her boyfriend... which sucks enough because i dont have my boyfriend anymore because of my drinking.... and they are also having a bottle of wine. i know she isnt doing it on purpose but i just feel so jealous. she can have her boyfriend and her wine and not a care in the world.
i wanna go hang out with them and the other friends who are over because im sad and i need to get my mind off things. but then i just see them and im more sad. and i feel like i need to talk to somebody about this, but none of them will understand.
sorry for the venting... i just have to somehow tell somebody how i feel.

Anna

Hi,

I'm sorry you're having a hard time tonight.

I think that early sobriety requires lots of changes. Stopping drinking is only the beginning. For tonight, why don't you go out for a walk or go to a movie, or do something that will take your mind off things.

I hope you feel better.

Dee74

I don't think there's anyone here who hasn't felt this way Gropus.
It's not fair - but the way I used to treat myself and others when I was drunk wasn't fair either.

It took me a long time to accept - I let my anger and frustration at the unfairness take me back to drinking time and again - but I'm glad I eventually made my peace with things.

It will get easier - you will find you can socialise again and not give a damn - but it takes time - we have to walk before we can run.

I can do anything I want in this world now I'm sober - anything but drink - that seems like a fair swap to me now

D

artsoul

I agree 100% with Dee - there will come a time when you'll be able to look at alcohol objectively, as the toxin it is, and not from the perspective of deprivation. I really does take time, though.

Those feelings are so normal at first. I felt the same way, which is why I spent (and spend, present tense) so much time here! We know what it's like and it really does get better.:ghug3

doggonecarl

Be proud of one week. Those first days aren't easy, and as your finding out, they can get harder when you start "missing" alcohol and all the things you associate with drinking. But your drinking brought you here, so hang in there and I promise you, in time, sober will feel normal.

reggiewayne

Early sobriety is tough. The mood swings / cravings I have gone through have leveled off over the past 4 months. I still think about drinking but I am able to do more in my day now than "JUST NOT DRINKING". There were many days early on (and by early on I mean the first 75 days) when all I could do was just not drink. It took AA, this site, praying to my HP, calling people and voicing my feelings just to allow me to not have that first drink.

Hang in there, it really does get better. One question I have is, do you have a program of recovery set up? For me, I needed structure. I had certain meetings I hit daily, I had recovery CD's I listened to in the car, books, participation here, etc... My way is certainly not the only way, but I do think we all need some type of plan.

I wish you the best! You're doing great!!!

EmeraldRose

Hi Gorpus. I'm sorry you are feeling sad. But it's good to feel it without drinking over it. Congratulations on your time!
I had kind of a rough weekend and was amazed at the support I got here. I didn't need alot of advice just someplace to let off some steam. I know how ya feel. I do.
One night I was feeling 'bad' and I decided to write down all the contacts in my phone! LOL How bored is that? But funny how things go...a week later I spilled hot tea on my phone and eventually decided to take my upgrade. Wale, the lady had a hard time transfering my contacts so I was laughing to myself about why I did it. Glad I did!
I hope you have a better rest of your night -we are always here...

Gorpus

Thank you everybody. That night I did end up having one beer. I am kind of dissappointed that i did, but then again I am proud that I only had one.
I just started going to therapy (at a place i used to go to for anxiety issues). I plan on going there for a few weeks to get me on track and talk about other issues as well... tomorrow I am going to go to my first AA meeting. An open discussion women's only one. so I hope it goes well. So hopefully doing all of this will keep me on track.

Snarf

Very glad you're going to a meeting! I spent lots of time in the AA rooms my first few months without a drink. This site is fantastic, but it really helped me a lot to speak with people face-to-face who had been through what I was going through. That support goes a long way. It also helps to hear other people's stories, and to see their strength in sharing their trials and successes. Hope you enjoy it!

KellyToronto

What a GREAT 1st AA meeting that will be for you, Gorpus...I say this with conviction, because my Lisa is an alcoholic like me, and she loves her Tuesday women's only meeting, as well as her closed home group (men and women) on Saturday evenings.

All the best!

Kelly