New relationship
 

I have recently become involved with a man who I have known for a long time, but not been romantically involved until the last 6 months. I have been single a long time and devoted my life to caring for my kids from my first marriage, etc. We live in two different states so I only see him a couple times a months and we talk on the phone a lot. I knew sometimes he had been drinking but didn’t really think much of it, but it got progressively worse. I found out he drinks a fifth of Vodka every night, and it has gone on for many years. When he is with me we would drink occasionally or not at all and he is/was fine. To make a long story short he admitted he had a problem, would quit on his own, etc. I could tell (once I knew the signs) that he had not quit and openly lied to me about it. He has since admitted he couldn’t stop, said he would try AA (tomorrow), etc. He spent the weekend with me and there was no alcohol and he seemed fine, once he gets home though I know he will fall back into that pattern. I know it’s a disease, and I know it’s difficult and I want to be supportive. I love him in every way but can’t take on that responsibility or enable him to drink. I also can’t move forward in our relationship without him being sober. I am going to attend an Alanon meeting tonight. Just curious if anyone has any advice on how to proceed.

Hi,

Welcome!

I'm glad you're aware that your boyfriend needs to help himself. Hopefully he will do that. AlAnon could be helpful for you, and you might also check out our forums for Friends and Families on this board.