One year today....who woulda thunk it?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Land down under
Posts: 433
One year today....who woulda thunk it?
A lot of you may not know me, I tend to hang out in chat a fair bit 
but I still wanted to share in here. I hope that my story will help to inspire those of you that think they wont make it, or are struggling. I also like to share success, and today I feel very successful.
Just over a year ago, I started stalking these forums. I read and I read and I read and finally decided that it was about time I came out of denial and accept that I am an alcoholic. Moderation just didn't work. Giving up for "30 day challenges" did not prove that I didn't have a problem. I would always end up back where i started, and worse. This is a progressive disease.....
Well, I soon worked out that the mistakes I had made in the past, besides the denial, was thinking I could do it on my own. Coming here saved my life. I have made so many new friends, not one of them have I ever seen face to face, but that doesn't matter. The common bond we all have is that we "get it'. We know what it is like to be an addict. Sure, the path we took to get there might be different but the common red thread is the same.
*insert shout out to my SR family here* I love you guys!!
One day at a time, I can't tell you how much that has helped me as well. Sobriety has given me the gift of living in the present. I no longer wish my life away. I appreciate the little things in life a lot more. In fact, I have a life now, rather than a pathetic existence that was not only upsetting me, but those that love me as well.
Loving myself - wow - now that was a huge one for me. I hated myself so much. Didn't think I deserved to be happy and would actually sabotage happiness. Now I realise I deserve to be just as happy as anyone else does. I learnt to love myself and started to realise it doesn't matter what people think of me. I don't have to drown my sorrows when I think someone is judging me or agonising over something I might have said/done. What they think of me is their problem.
I can now look at myself in the mirror and not feel disgust. I wake up feeling wonderful. One of my work colleagues said to me once, "I feel sorry for you, when you wake up that's as good as your day is going to get". As much as he was joking, I didn't have the heart to say "buddy, been where you have and I know where I would rather be". It's fabulous not having to wait til 2pm when I felt "alive" again, I feel alive 24/7 now
I am not going to lie, there were times in early sobriety when a drink seemed like a great idea, but as time has gone on I have come to realise that drinking is never the solution to the problem. In fact, if I remember correctly it generally made it worse. I am loving that fact that these days each decision I make is not clouded with alcohol and I know that if I decide to do something, it is because I want to. I can say no these days and not feel guilty.
Those drinking urges pass, trust me on that one. Just don't give in to that "stinkin thinkin" and remember why you are doing this in the first place. Don't dwell on the past too much but remember those things that you didn't like about yourself when you drank/used. That would soon get me over the urges. I would just change the tape that played in my head.
My biggest personal challenge now is increasing my running at the gym (my new addiction). I am now running 5km x 3 times a week. Gosh I never thought I would be able to do that. I lift weights on the other 3 and rest on Saturday. There is nothing like jumping on that treadmill with my headphones in, playing some kind of thrashy tunes (hehe) and escaping.
Which leads me to music... oh boy, play that music loud in the lounge room and dance!!! Grab a sober life with both hands, stay on for the whole ride and don't let go.. it's worth it!!
but I still wanted to share in here. I hope that my story will help to inspire those of you that think they wont make it, or are struggling. I also like to share success, and today I feel very successful.Just over a year ago, I started stalking these forums. I read and I read and I read and finally decided that it was about time I came out of denial and accept that I am an alcoholic. Moderation just didn't work. Giving up for "30 day challenges" did not prove that I didn't have a problem. I would always end up back where i started, and worse. This is a progressive disease.....
Well, I soon worked out that the mistakes I had made in the past, besides the denial, was thinking I could do it on my own. Coming here saved my life. I have made so many new friends, not one of them have I ever seen face to face, but that doesn't matter. The common bond we all have is that we "get it'. We know what it is like to be an addict. Sure, the path we took to get there might be different but the common red thread is the same.
*insert shout out to my SR family here* I love you guys!!
One day at a time, I can't tell you how much that has helped me as well. Sobriety has given me the gift of living in the present. I no longer wish my life away. I appreciate the little things in life a lot more. In fact, I have a life now, rather than a pathetic existence that was not only upsetting me, but those that love me as well.
Loving myself - wow - now that was a huge one for me. I hated myself so much. Didn't think I deserved to be happy and would actually sabotage happiness. Now I realise I deserve to be just as happy as anyone else does. I learnt to love myself and started to realise it doesn't matter what people think of me. I don't have to drown my sorrows when I think someone is judging me or agonising over something I might have said/done. What they think of me is their problem.
I can now look at myself in the mirror and not feel disgust. I wake up feeling wonderful. One of my work colleagues said to me once, "I feel sorry for you, when you wake up that's as good as your day is going to get". As much as he was joking, I didn't have the heart to say "buddy, been where you have and I know where I would rather be". It's fabulous not having to wait til 2pm when I felt "alive" again, I feel alive 24/7 now
I am not going to lie, there were times in early sobriety when a drink seemed like a great idea, but as time has gone on I have come to realise that drinking is never the solution to the problem. In fact, if I remember correctly it generally made it worse. I am loving that fact that these days each decision I make is not clouded with alcohol and I know that if I decide to do something, it is because I want to. I can say no these days and not feel guilty.
Those drinking urges pass, trust me on that one. Just don't give in to that "stinkin thinkin" and remember why you are doing this in the first place. Don't dwell on the past too much but remember those things that you didn't like about yourself when you drank/used. That would soon get me over the urges. I would just change the tape that played in my head.
My biggest personal challenge now is increasing my running at the gym (my new addiction). I am now running 5km x 3 times a week. Gosh I never thought I would be able to do that. I lift weights on the other 3 and rest on Saturday. There is nothing like jumping on that treadmill with my headphones in, playing some kind of thrashy tunes (hehe) and escaping.
Which leads me to music... oh boy, play that music loud in the lounge room and dance!!! Grab a sober life with both hands, stay on for the whole ride and don't let go.. it's worth it!!
Last edited by ozgoddess; 04-03-2011 at 02:26 PM. Reason: misspelling
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Grab a sober life with both hands, stay on for the whole ride and don't let go.. it's worth it!!
That was an awesome post - thanks!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Congratulations, Oz. :day1
Your journey of sobriety has most definitely been linked with mine through SR. I have learned from you and have enjoyed getting to know you.
So proud of you. You have grown so much! Keep it up.
Your journey of sobriety has most definitely been linked with mine through SR. I have learned from you and have enjoyed getting to know you.
So proud of you. You have grown so much! Keep it up.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Well done Oz,
I can't keep up in chat so I miss that. You are one I miss. It was like ping pong and I just couldn't keep up!!!
Fantastic on the one year and with all the money you saved, you can do a tour and visit all the friends!
I can't keep up in chat so I miss that. You are one I miss. It was like ping pong and I just couldn't keep up!!!
Fantastic on the one year and with all the money you saved, you can do a tour and visit all the friends!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Denver Colorado
Posts: 21
Such a beautiful testimony. Thank you.
I too I am nearing one year of sobriety from alcohol and can relate to your story. Unfortunately, I am going through withdrawals from pets roped pain medication right now. But here is the good part. I didn't abuse them, took them as perscribed, and stopped on my own, three weeks early! The pain i am inis nothing compared to the joy I feel in knowing there is three weeks of meds right in front of me that are a total joke. I could take one and make the pain stop, but it will be back. So, I choose to embrace this moment as a blessing and vivid reminder of why I stopped killing myself with drinking and decided to live. God Bless.
I too am hooked on the exercise. Nothing is better than weights for 45 than an hour of cardio 3-4 times a week. Music is key. Music is my favorite thing in the world and it makes working out possible. I highly recommend excercise and positivity for anyone
seeking or in recovery.
I am really proud of you. Well done. For those who think they can't do it, trust us, it can be done and it is worth it. I used to drink all day every day. Through the Grace of God Almighty and hard work, I don't even think about alcohol anymore. Only when I like to take a moment to say " good job, keep going" do I even think about drinking. Be good to yourself. People and things cause you pain. That will never stop. It is how you deal with that pressure that counts. Find the way to cope productively and positively that works for you and use it!
Anyway, congrats and God Bless you and all on this site. Many good things are happening here for many good people. Coming here is helped me and can help you too. Thanks.
I too I am nearing one year of sobriety from alcohol and can relate to your story. Unfortunately, I am going through withdrawals from pets roped pain medication right now. But here is the good part. I didn't abuse them, took them as perscribed, and stopped on my own, three weeks early! The pain i am inis nothing compared to the joy I feel in knowing there is three weeks of meds right in front of me that are a total joke. I could take one and make the pain stop, but it will be back. So, I choose to embrace this moment as a blessing and vivid reminder of why I stopped killing myself with drinking and decided to live. God Bless.
I too am hooked on the exercise. Nothing is better than weights for 45 than an hour of cardio 3-4 times a week. Music is key. Music is my favorite thing in the world and it makes working out possible. I highly recommend excercise and positivity for anyone
seeking or in recovery.
I am really proud of you. Well done. For those who think they can't do it, trust us, it can be done and it is worth it. I used to drink all day every day. Through the Grace of God Almighty and hard work, I don't even think about alcohol anymore. Only when I like to take a moment to say " good job, keep going" do I even think about drinking. Be good to yourself. People and things cause you pain. That will never stop. It is how you deal with that pressure that counts. Find the way to cope productively and positively that works for you and use it!
Anyway, congrats and God Bless you and all on this site. Many good things are happening here for many good people. Coming here is helped me and can help you too. Thanks.
Last edited by Jazzhero; 04-03-2011 at 03:43 PM. Reason: Mistake
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