Not new to addiction..
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 104
Not new to addiction..
..nosirree. Been addicted to alcohol for close to 30 years. Not new to recovery either. Got an in-depth introduction to the process of recovery 14 years ago when the two choices I had for leaving the hospital were (a) voluntarily leave on an ambulance and go to inpatient detox or (b) we will legally force you to leave on an ambulance and go to inpatient detox. I volunteered.
So if I'm not new to addiction and not new to recovery, why am I posting in the newcomers' forum? Well, it's because there are a couple of things I AM new to. I'm new to understanding what it means to accept.. to really REALLY accept... the fact that I am an alcoholic, that I always have been and I always will be. Accepting the fact that there never has been and never will be anybody with a history of drinking like mine that wasn't an alcoholic. And accepting the fact that there never has been anyone with a history of drinking like mine that was cured of alcoholism and could begin drinking like a non-alcoholic.
I didn't choose alcoholism. My alcoholism is not a sign of wekness. I do choose, however, whether my disease progresses further or whether it's stopped dead in its tracks. If I drink, I am weak and my disease progresses. If I don't, I am strong and it stops. It's that simple.
What's not so simple is developing the strength to choose not to drink in every single circumstance no matter what. I have to work at that just as hard as I have to work to develop strength in my physical body. A part of that is I have to realize that my believing something to be true is not what makes it true and I have to open my mind to the possibility that some things I've always believed may in fact be false... things like "asking for help is a sign of weakness" or "if my opinions are challenged I must defend them" or "if someone is rude to me, it's a direct attack against me personally and I have to defend myself." I have to really pay attention to my beliefs and attitudes, root out the ones that are not serving me, and replace them with ones that are beneficial. The more I work-out by practicing healthy attitudes, the easier it will become to choose not to drink even in the most challenging of circumstances.
So here's where I start... by putting aside my fear of appearing weak and asking for y'all's help. Please, please keep posting - your stories of struggle and triumph are a great inspiration for me. And please call me out on my crap if ever you notice it.. I'm in a pretty good space right now but I can be something of a dodohead at times and a little tough love will usually help snap me out of it (I've read around enough in here to know that some of y'all are real good at this)
This site has been a godsend for me. I look forward to walking this path with y'all as we learn from and share with each other.
Take it easy
~N
So if I'm not new to addiction and not new to recovery, why am I posting in the newcomers' forum? Well, it's because there are a couple of things I AM new to. I'm new to understanding what it means to accept.. to really REALLY accept... the fact that I am an alcoholic, that I always have been and I always will be. Accepting the fact that there never has been and never will be anybody with a history of drinking like mine that wasn't an alcoholic. And accepting the fact that there never has been anyone with a history of drinking like mine that was cured of alcoholism and could begin drinking like a non-alcoholic.
I didn't choose alcoholism. My alcoholism is not a sign of wekness. I do choose, however, whether my disease progresses further or whether it's stopped dead in its tracks. If I drink, I am weak and my disease progresses. If I don't, I am strong and it stops. It's that simple.
What's not so simple is developing the strength to choose not to drink in every single circumstance no matter what. I have to work at that just as hard as I have to work to develop strength in my physical body. A part of that is I have to realize that my believing something to be true is not what makes it true and I have to open my mind to the possibility that some things I've always believed may in fact be false... things like "asking for help is a sign of weakness" or "if my opinions are challenged I must defend them" or "if someone is rude to me, it's a direct attack against me personally and I have to defend myself." I have to really pay attention to my beliefs and attitudes, root out the ones that are not serving me, and replace them with ones that are beneficial. The more I work-out by practicing healthy attitudes, the easier it will become to choose not to drink even in the most challenging of circumstances.
So here's where I start... by putting aside my fear of appearing weak and asking for y'all's help. Please, please keep posting - your stories of struggle and triumph are a great inspiration for me. And please call me out on my crap if ever you notice it.. I'm in a pretty good space right now but I can be something of a dodohead at times and a little tough love will usually help snap me out of it (I've read around enough in here to know that some of y'all are real good at this)
This site has been a godsend for me. I look forward to walking this path with y'all as we learn from and share with each other.
Take it easy
~N
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 64
I can relate to a lot of this Nancy. I am not really a newcomer either with years as well. Welcome and I too think we can all find strength here and elsewhere to truly embrace what we need to live in a sober better life
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