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Hello everyone...recovering college student here

Old 04-02-2011, 08:07 PM
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Hello everyone...recovering college student here

My story: I developed a pretty bad drinking problem in college, and junior year is when it really got bad. I started having panic attacks from withdrawal and eventually went on celexa. I took celexa for general anxiety for a year and a half, and was also prescribed ativan for when panic attacks did happen.

I got way too sucked into the social aspect of college, and eventually started drinking every day whether others were drinking or not. I would drink alone every day...before and after meeting up with friends, going to class, etc.

I would do very stupid things when i was drunk, such as cuss out friends, fall over drunk and hurt myself, and embarrass myself in all ways possible. I'm sure many of you have been there before.

I would go out to the bars at least 3 times a week on top of all the other drinking I did. I don't even want to know how much money I spent in the last few years. My parents were always concerned because they could look at my bank statement and see what I was buying. I would do all things possible to try and hide my booze habit from them. This was done by using cash, pocket change, or shopping at Hy-Vee or Walgreens. I didn't care that the beer had less alcohol in it, it just meant that I had to drink more of it. I loved beer. I loved drinking. Then, throwing in some weed and an ativan here and there and you're set for a good night. I was a mess, and everyone knew it.

At my worst I was drinking at least 6 or 7 beers a day, and often times 10 or 12. Sometimes I would drink 12 beers and then go out. That never ended well. I would try and sleep off my withdrawal every day by staying in bed until 3 or 4pm. And I would be back to the Natty Light not soon after I got out of bed.


So that brings me to where I am today. I am a 5th year in college, but have decided to move home this semester to live with my parents and get better. Despite my drinking woes, I only need 2 more classes to graduate (my therapist says it's amazing I made it that far...and I guess it is). I came home on January 12th and haven't had a drink since. I also have a therapist, as stated above, and I have been working a full time job to save up money so I can finish college. I also started weening off my medication back in January, and this passed week I am finally off of them.

I haven't felt this good in a long time. No more feeling like crap 24/7, no more making an ass of myself every time I go out, etc.

I am however, sort of lonely. Most of my friends are still back at school, and the ones that aren't have moved on in their lives. I read the thread about facebook, and find it VERY relevant in my situation. It's hard to see pictures of people having fun, and here I am...23 years old living with my parents...never hanging out with anybody...and a general feeling of disconnection with those I was close to back at school.

But anyway, I'll get over it. My plans are to go back to school this summer and finish up, and I can be with my friends for one last time before we all graduate and go our separate ways.

Anyway, just thought I'd share my experience. Any questions, thoughts, or concerns would be greatly appreciated!
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Old 04-02-2011, 08:14 PM
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Welcome refrigerator

Congratulations on your sober time.

I know you'll find a lot of ideas and support here
D
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Old 04-02-2011, 08:16 PM
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Hello.

I admire your courage. I simply could not have done what you are doing while I was in college.

Have you considered AA? It's a great place to find young people who are also in recovery. Many areas have meetings specifically designated for young people.

If I can be of any help, please feel free to private message me.
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Old 04-02-2011, 08:18 PM
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Hey! Glad you are here.
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Old 04-02-2011, 08:27 PM
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Originally Posted by FrothyJay View Post
Hello.

I admire your courage. I simply could not have done what you are doing while I was in college.

Have you considered AA? It's a great place to find young people who are also in recovery. Many areas have meetings specifically designated for young people.

If I can be of any help, please feel free to private message me.
Yes I have considered AA. But it's not that I don't want to go to AA, it's just I don't really want to go anywhere. I've just now been getting over the not having any energy phase, and now I'm working full time. Eventually I would like to go, but I need to muster up the energy and time.
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Old 04-02-2011, 08:49 PM
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Originally Posted by refrigerator View Post
Yes I have considered AA. But it's not that I don't want to go to AA, it's just I don't really want to go anywhere. I've just now been getting over the not having any energy phase, and now I'm working full time. Eventually I would like to go, but I need to muster up the energy and time.
Fair enough. My experience is that the first time will not be easy, no matter how long you wait. But I encourage you to give it a try. It's very hard to stay sober alone.
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Old 04-02-2011, 09:00 PM
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Welcome Fridge!
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Old 04-02-2011, 09:48 PM
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Also, how does AA work? How do the "12 steps" work? I'm not exactly very religious, so I know it wouldn't work for me? Despite this my therapist told me to go anyway and hear peoples stories and interact with them etc. But I guess i'm just concerned about people trying to force religion on me, in which I would feel uncomfortable and basically see it as a waste of time...
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Old 04-02-2011, 10:04 PM
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The best way to explore AA is to simply go ..listen with
an open mind.....why not availe yourself of all resources?

Here is a good link about meetings

http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/F...A_Meeting.html

Welcome to our recovery community
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Old 04-02-2011, 10:31 PM
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AA is not religious but spiritual. It is not like what you are thinking. I also work really long hours but make night meeting almost every night. Sobriety needs to be #1 or you won't have anything else to worry about.
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Old 04-02-2011, 10:40 PM
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I basically developed my drug and alcohol problem in college as well. I even had one roomate who would constantly tell me "Theres no way you can be an alcoholic your'e just in college, its normal." That is completely wrong for those of us who are alcoholics. You can use "College" as an excuse all you want for your out of control drinking but it just doesnt matter. It is hard seeing everyone else partying and what not, but everyone is on their own path. I deleted my facebook awhile back because I was sick of comparing myself to other people. I want to live my own journey, be the leader of my own life. I know that is not practical for everyone, but it has greatly helped my life become more peaceful. I dont have to worry about seeing ex g/f's with their new dudes, old friends still partying it up, et etc etc...The good old telephone works for me and anyone who wants to be my friend.

Anyway, stay strong and start forming a new group of friends who dont drink...we are out there and there are alot of fun times to be had sans booze!
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Old 04-02-2011, 10:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Deanpotter View Post
I basically developed my drug and alcohol problem in college as well. I even had one roomate who would constantly tell me "Theres no way you can be an alcoholic your'e just in college, its normal." That is completely wrong for those of us who are alcoholics. You can use "College" as an excuse all you want for your out of control drinking but it just doesnt matter. It is hard seeing everyone else partying and what not, but everyone is on their own path. I deleted my facebook awhile back because I was sick of comparing myself to other people. I want to live my own journey, be the leader of my own life. I know that is not practical for everyone, but it has greatly helped my life become more peaceful. I dont have to worry about seeing ex g/f's with their new dudes, old friends still partying it up, et etc etc...The good old telephone works for me and anyone who wants to be my friend.

Anyway, stay strong and start forming a new group of friends who dont drink...we are out there and there are alot of fun times to be had sans booze!
Can't tell you how many times i've heard this in it's multiple variations. The sad thing is that most people actually believe it, but I knew for a long time I had a problem and just now in the last few months have I taken major steps to address the problem.
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Old 04-03-2011, 05:55 AM
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My first husband was an incredibly self-destructive alcoholic when we met in college. He was 18 and I was 20 (with a good fake ID--which was probably part of the attraction).

He wound up quitting college after two years and continued to drink. It wasn't just a "college thing" for him.

When he was 21 he went to AA and has now been sober over 31 years. He's had a great life so far--lots of friends, good jobs, career success, and now he is enjoying his retirement. He climbs mountains for fun (lol, not MY idea of fun, but he loves it).

You can have a great life, sober.
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Old 04-03-2011, 05:58 AM
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Old 04-03-2011, 08:35 AM
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Hey man, I am 26 and was pretty similar to that when I was in college. I somehow managed habits like that and I both graduated and earned four varsity letters in sports. Dont let the fact that you have managed to almost graduate and have had moderate success pull you back into drinking again. Odds are if you think you have a problem you do. I did but I talked myself out of it so many times. Moving home is a good idea. Keep up the good work and remember real friends wont care if you are drinking or not. Odds are some of them know you have a problem.
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Old 04-03-2011, 09:57 PM
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Hey! I'm 24 and am two weeks into sobriety. Also a college student. It IS hard when I'm in the "college drinking phase" and it's difficult for others to distinguish the problem that I know I have (and nobody knew the extent of my drinking...) vs. simply being a wild college student.
I was really, really afraid of losing all of my friends (I did lose all of my drinking buddies), but I have made so many awesome friends in AA. There are a lot of us out there! I was expecting everyone in AA to be older, but it's just not the case. Even if you don't think AA is for you (I don't know, but you didn't mention it), you should check it out and at the very least, maybe you will make a few sober friends! They have young peoples' meetings as well, look for them. I go to a young peoples' meetings on Fridays at midnight and it's always a good time! I don't feel lonely like I thought I would at all.
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Old 04-04-2011, 07:16 AM
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Congrats on doing the right things and getting a handle on things early ... well early compared to my experience.

I won't do a drunkalog but I hung out on campus , was daily at the campus bar at opening , between classes , after classes...had jobs where I served alcohol and egads got a job as a bartender...oy vey

Anyway I thought I had "friends" but what I had was a cohort of hard drinkers and alcoholics. I can't say we did enjoy some good times but in the end it took me way longer to finish up with a degree with a low GPA.

Oh and those "friends" , a few , the hard drinkers quit and went on to what they wanted. The alcoholics , well some of us became high functioning but now we all have to either continue down the spiral or work toward regaining what we lost. Oh and some left this Earth already ...

I would trade a few lonely years back then for what happened to me the last 25 years in a second. The fact was there was a lot of options I had but I did not even realize I was an alcoholic then so they never crossed my mind.

Find an interest and see if there is a club or team or organization that will bring you into contact with others. AA is good because generally it takes the "going for one" after the event off the table...well unless its going for coffee

Wishing you well and quite sure once you have completed the world will open up in so many ways
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